Dressed up in Faded Costumes

After I had skipped almost the whole day of classes the day that Liam had chose to quit college, it was the day that he would come back home to the family which he had to confront. Aunt Liz had accepted back her son with open arms, as would any mother. His father was a bit more disappointed that Aunt Liz, but he was glad that his son had made the decision to tell them straight to their faces. Once again, Liam was home where I could go to him whenever I wanted to. I was happy that he was just there, a few corners away from my house, and I wondered whether I was being too selfish about it.
On the same day, Liam had fetched me from school with Leila and Maria by our sides. Matt was not with us that day because of boredom probably of going to school.
We were laughing and teasing each other while walking. We looked like any other group of friends walking home. Nothing was awkward between everybody now. We all knew each other well. And if it weren’t for Alex, Matt and Garrett’s absence, you could say that the group would’ve looked more like a bunch of siblings with different hair colors.
I went to Liam’s house, as he had insisted, and made me wait in his living room. I sat on the sofa, all movements restrained because his father was walking into the room, and waited for Liam to walk back from his room.
“Good afternoon, Mr. Montgomery,” I said greeting his father as he sat on the chair practically across the couch I was sitting on.
It was only at that time that I noticed that I’ve only had encounters like this with his father three times before. I was much closer to Aunt Liz than him, obviously, and now I felt very awkward with him just there.
“Oh, hello, Michelle,” he said as he smiled. He was quite nice and polite.
I gave him a smile back and I still was waiting for Liam.
“How’s your mom?”
“Oh, she’s been doing well, sir,” I replied, not sure of how to address him.
“That’s good to hear,” he said.
I nodded awkwardly and kept smiling.
“Oh, and one more thing.”
I looked at him with abnormally wide eyes—because that tends to happen when I become nervous.
“You know you’re always welcome here,” he flashed me a look at me and opened the newspaper he was holding and gave it a little shake.
I smiled and saw Mr. Montgomery as more than Aunt Liz’s husband. It might’ve been too early for it, but I saw him as a father because I didn’t have my own. I loved the fact that I could look up to my grandfather and him now.
“Hey,” Liam called from the bottom of the stairs and gestured his hand for me to come with him.
I smiled. “Uh, excuse me, sir,” I said.
I walked to Liam who went ahead and saw a smile form on Mr. Montgomery’s face. It was the first time that I had walked in to Liam’s room. It was a bit messy like mine but a lot bigger. His room was twice the size of mine and his stuff was more expensive, judging solely on the way they looked. I wasn’t really surprised. Liam’s family was rich. He was, after all, living in LA without any financial problems.
I sat on his unmade bed and looked at Liam who was hiding something behind his back.
“Close your eyes,” he told me.
And so I did. I felt his hand tuck a lock of my hair behind my ear, and I felt his lips touch mine. I felt nervous as I kissed back with a pounding heart beneath my ribs.
He laid something on my lap and I opened my eyes as we ended our kiss. It was a camera bag. I’ve always been interested with photography, but didn’t have the money to buy the nice camera everybody else had. I looked at him and he was looking at my surprised face. I opened the camera bag and it contained a Canon EOS. It was brand new and it looked beautiful.
“Happy birthday,” he whispered and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek.
“T-thank you” I said as I shed a tear of pure happiness.
I took the camera and put the lace around me. I looked at Liam and told him, “I want the first photo to be of you.”
I snapped the picture at him as he awkwardly smiled.

A Saturday had come, and I was desperately looking for something to do that morning. It was quite early. 8am to be exact. I was in my room, already clean and fresh and ready to go somewhere, messing with the camera that Liam had given me.
And then someone knocked on my door; it was Liam. I was a bit surprised that he had come at the exact time that I was bored and so early in the morning.
“Good morning,” he said as he lay on my bed.
“You’re early today,” I told him as I smiled.
“I figured we go on a bike ride today; to somewhere I usually run to when I want to be alone,” he said. “Of course, I won’t be going there alone much often now; I’ll probably be going with you from now on.”
“Wait, a b-bike ride?” I asked feeling a bit scared about going on one.
“Yeah, a bike ride,” he said as he sat up and looked at me. “What’s wrong with that?”
“Uhmm, I don’t know how to ride one,” I admitted. “I never learned how to ride it.”
He looked at me with a surprised face. “You’re probably the only American I know that doesn’t know how to ride a bike,” he chuckled.
“Hey, don’t insult my bike skills,” I said. “Which are obviously non-existent…”
He shot me a matter-of-fact look and smiled just like I did.
“What about you? What field do you fail in?” I asked him.
“I fail to mix in with the crowd,” he smiled.
“You? Well, you are a bit famous around campus; people are still talking about you there, even if you’ve already left… and you are kind of a chick-magnet…”
“Not that way! You might not know it yet, but if you ask around my family, I’m probably the kind that’ll be a nerd forever,” he said. “And I am not a chick-magnet.”
“Yes you are!” I laughed. “You just don’t know it.”
“Well, alright then; with these looks? You’ll kind of expect it,” he laughed as he threw himself onto my pillows and I messed up his hair even more that it was.
I looked at him and my smile turned mild. I stared at him, and he stared back at me.
“Hey,” he said as he touched my chin. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smiled.
I was thinking of him; of how I ended up so lucky with him.
“Let’s go?” he asked.
“But I don’t know how to ride a bi…”
“Grab your phone, camera, iPod…”
I smiled and did as he said.
I told my mom that I was going out, and I rushed outside with him where his bike was waiting.
“Well, we’re not gonna need that now,” he said. “Let’s walk it home, and then we’ll go, okay?”
I wasn’t quite sure of his plan but I nodded anyways. As we walked his house, he kept his smile wide.
He parked his bike inside their garage and gave someone a quick text.
“Who’re you texting?” I asked.
“Just… asking… permission… from… Darren…” he said while he was texting.
“Permission for what?”
And when I heard his message tone ring, he immediately said, “Come on,” and led me deeper into the garage where something was resting underneath a cover.
He took the cover off and there was a silver Ducati waiting to be used. He smiled at me.
“This is Darren’s,” he said. “He’s only got the chance to use this thrice before he went to Cleveland for a trip.”
“I’m not sure about this,” I said.
“Come on,” he said. “Let’s not worry about anything today. Nothing at all.”
He readied the bike on the street where he got on and told me to do the same. I got on; wanting to forget the problems too.
“Hold tight.”

We drove off to a secluded cliff 10 minutes away. There was one big tree resting a couple of meters from the edge and a patch of grass that circled it perfectly. The cliff overlooked a part of LA and it was beautiful; peaceful.
We were under the tree, my head was lying on his lap and his back was resting against the tree trunk. He was playing with my hair and it felt as if nothing was wrong with the world. I snapped away at his face and the things around me with the camera. Some photos I erased because they were horrible considering I was taking them while lying down.
“Don’t you think that the camera has had more of its daily dose of pictures of me?” he chuckled.
“Well, the more the better,” I replied.
“I want a picture of us,” he smiled.
“Uh,” I hesitated. “I’m a behind-the scenes girl. You know, I work behind the camera.”
He grabbed my wrist, took the camera from me and sat me up. He put his arm around me.
“At least one,” he said as he snapped a great photo of us even though he had a shaky hand.
We both looked at the photo of us afterwards on the screen of the camera. We both smiled. It was definitely a photo we both will treasure.
“So,” Liam said as he stretched his arms up high, and I went back to my once position of lying down on his lap. “Why is it that you didn’t learn how to ride a bike?”
“My balance is that of a ball on a tight rope,” I said laughing for a second and turning sad the next. “I didn’t have anybody to teach me. I didn’t have a dad behind me.”
“Oh, I’m… sorry I asked.”
“Nah, I’m used to the dad-related questions,” I replied.
“Do you ever miss him?”
“I… don’t… know…” I said, thinking after every word. “I’ve never really thought about him like this.
“It’s just sad that every time there’s somebody who’s bragging about their dad, I never had one to brag or at least even tell about. All I had were photographs and my memories of him singing a lullaby for me. Other than that, I don’t remember him at all.”
He looked at me as he brushed through my messed up hair.
“You know, I’ve always wanted to write songs,” Liam said suddenly changing the topic slightly. “But I never really got the hang of writing lyrics; melodies, I’m okay with.”
“Really? Well, I’d love to hear the music you’ve already written.”
“I’ve actually recorded a riff on my phone. You know, when I feel bored and I end up wanting to write some stuff I can’t yet…” he smiled.
“Can I hear it?” I asked, smiling the same.
“Yeah, sure,” he said as he handed me is phone.
I listened to the guitar; the tabs were a bit difficult but he made it seem as if it was easy as pumpkin pie. The notes was flowing beautifully, and it already sounded like an acoustic track on an album; the way Panic! At the Disco always makes a slow song on their record.
“This is beautiful,” I said.
“It’s a work-in-progress,” he replied.
And an idea swept through me.
“Can I make a draft on your phone?” I asked him.
“Yeah, sure; of course.”
And I started typing a song on his phone; a song that expressed my thoughts about the long-lost father I was secretly yearning for.

Photographs and Old Guitars

What did you use to call me
when I was still too young?
I feel as if it's just too much
That's there's nothing I could've done

I never knew how it felt
to have you by my side
Cause I was just too young to know
How to think with my own mind

When you just hanged with your guitar
Did you ever think?
That you could be gone
Gone in just a blink

I didn't even think about
What was written in your head
Cause I felt you were never there
When she tucked me in my bed

If photographs were brought to life
And tragedy was left untouched
Would you still recognize my face
Now that I've grown up

Can old guitars and memories
Bring back moments I never knew?
Cause I just want to know how it feels
To have that wall behind me too

I'll know never how it feels
To have someone like you
Cause I was just too young to know
When you said "I love you"

When chords and notes were written down
And challenges came up
Was there ever that one time
That I was just the one

Cause I feel I'm the only one
Who doesn't know anything at all
I never had one letter
Not even just a call

And all those broken promises
And all those stories told
I'll never know which lie is true
I'll never even know

If photographs were brought to life
And tragedy was left untouched
Would you still recognize my face
Now that I've grown up

Can old guitars and memories
Bring back moments I never knew?
Cause I just want to know how it feels
To have that wall behind me too

So if ever you hear me
If answers were reversed
I might never know what's right or wrong
If photographs sing me a song
When old guitars sang lullabies to me...

That was how I started to search for my dad; with that song and plain curiosity. When Liam saw what I had typed down, and my eyes had started to brim with tears, he pulled me in his arms where he kissed my head.
“I like the way that you don’t act strong, at least around me. That way I always know if you’re okay or not.”
“I never want to bring anyone down,” I said as I wiped my eyes with my over shirt. “I grew up like that; that when I’m sad, I really shouldn’t tell anyone cause I’d be a drag for them.”
“You should really break that habit,” he said smiling. “It’s not good for anybody.”
He took his bag from his side and put our phones, and every other gadget we brought in it.
“Let’s leave the world for a moment,” he said as he lay down beside me on the soft grass.
I hugged him and everything disappeared.