Avoid All Entanglements

It happened on a Saturday morning.

That was what was in my head even when we’d finally reached Rosewood, California. It happened on a Saturday morning. Saturdays used to be my favourite days. I used to wake up at dawn to go on my morning run. But I’m aware now that no matter how hard and how fast I run now, I’m never going to be able to outrun it.

“Okay guys, we’re here.” Dad turned around and smiled at me. “Let’s move out and explore the house.”

I rubbed my eyes tiredly and stretched, smiling in return to him. I didn’t know which I preferred, the strained silence on the ride from the airport or Dad’s attempt at normalcy. I got out of the car and stared at the new house.

It was large, painted brown with a white picket fence. There was a brown pathway leading in, with flowers lining it and a green lawn. In the evening sky, it loomed over us, like a comforting presence. It wasn’t, in any case, beautiful but it looked like it could be home. Only it wasn’t my home. I already had one.

I tried to blink away the tears stinging at the back of my eyes. Somehow, I hadn’t thought that we were really leaving. But we really had left. And we had a new life here now.

“So what do you think about it, Spence?”

Dad was standing next to me, his arm around Mom. His tone was causal but his eyes looked strained, like he was trying too hard to please me. He never used to be like that. He’d never been a physically affectionate dad or even one that sought my opinion. It wasn’t just me who had changed. Our whole family had.

It was selfish, stupid of me but sometimes the suffocating bitterness wasn’t because of what had happened but because of what resulted from it. I just wanted everything to be normal again.

“It’s nice,” I eventually said.

His face fell slightly, like he’d expected more from me. But when I blinked it was gone. Instead, he asked, “What about you, Wanda? What do you think?”

She shrugged.

There was a strange tickle in my throat and I forced myself to look away from her. I focused at the top of the house, at the lone window until I managed to swallow it.

“Well if everyone’s ready, let’s go in then. Our things should already be inside.”

“I’ll go in a minute,” I found myself saying.

He looked startled but tried to cover it up. Mom barely even turned in my direction when I spoke. Instead, she was still staring vacantly at the house. I didn’t even know what I was expecting from her, only it was like taking a chance, making a wish, that whatever I was reaching for didn’t really exist.

“Alright, Spence, we’ll head in first.” Dad attempted a reassuring smile and led Mom into the house.

I wrapped my arms around myself and looked around the area. The house, our house now, wasn’t the largest here though it certainly was far bigger than my old. The houses on this road all looked well-manicured and there were quite a few luxury cars parked in front of it.

It was the kind of neighbourhood I’d read about but never thought I would live in. Dad’s old pay wouldn’t have been able enough to cover this house but his new job at the bank would be more than enough.

He said that it would a new beginning for us, that a change would be good. He had directed this whole speech at Mom while I stood on aside, wondering what response he wanted from me. Before I could even say a word, Mom had whipped around and ran to their room. I’d watched her go, knowing that the stab of hurt I felt in my gut wasn’t solely my pain. It had been my father’s as well.

I was suddenly aware that as I was staring at the neighbourhood, two boys around my age were standing near me, looking at me and trying not to make it seem obvious.

I turned to them. One of them smiled, the other simply studied me. The first boy had dark brown hair, was tall and with a kind of causal grace that came about from being an athlete; I recognised his kind as the type that used to run track with me. Used to. I looked away from him. His friend was shorter, stockier, with dirty blonde hair and folded arms.

The one which smiled walked up to me, his friend followed almost obligingly. Up close, I started to feel the urge to smooth out my wrinkled clothes. They were both effortlessly good looking but didn’t look completely put together. The brown-haired one seemed to have some unidentifiable stain on his grey T-shirt. But it didn’t make him any less intimidating.

When he reached me, he said, “Hey, are you new around here? I’m Tyler, this is Riley. Welcome to Rosewood.”

“I’m Spencer. I just... I just moved here.” I replied, knowing that Tyler was trying to be nice but really wishing that he hadn’t bothered.

“I live in the white one next to yours and Riley lives at your other side,” continued Tyler, still smiling easily.

Somehow it surprised that friendly, outgoing Tyler was close to Riley, who hadn’t said a word so far. Instead, he seemed slightly bored with me. I realised that the silence had dragged on, like Tyler expected me to say something in reply. So I tried, “Oh. Have you lived here for long?”

He looked unfazed by the awkward pause in conversation, almost as though he hadn’t noticed. “We’ve lived here since forever. Anyway, how do you like Rosewood so far?”

“It’s tough being the new kid.”

“You’re a junior?” guessed Tyler.

I could feel my face turning red from the conversation. It’d been a while since I’d made actual conversation with someone. I didn’t know how it should feel like. On my side, it felt uncomfortable, uneasy but looking at Tyler, you would think he was talking to an old friend. “No. I’m a senior.”

“You moved here in the middle of senior year?”

The incredulous question came from Riley and it gave me an unexpected jolt. I should’ve prepared something in reply to this; moving in the middle of senior year would’ve made anyone puzzled. But I hadn’t thought about it, my mind too preoccupied with other things.

Tyler shot Riley a look I couldn’t read but Riley only rolled his eyes. I noticed that he didn’t push me for any more information. For that I felt the burn of some kind of shame. Again, I tried to say something, “My dad had a great job offer so we, um, decided to move here.”

“Oh okay,” replied Riley, his eyebrows raised.

It didn’t look to me like he believed me at all. My gaze went to Tyler, whose smile had disappeared now. Instead, his arms were folded and he was looking at Riley. When he caught me looking, he seemed to apologise for Riley with a quick nod. Then he said, his tone not any less friendly, “I hope you’ll have a great time this weekend. Go check out the beaches if you’re free, they’re awesome. See you at school then.”

“Yeah, see you.”

The two of them walked to Tyler’s house, the white one, all the way talking animatedly about something. At one point, I thought I saw Tyler turn around and look at me for a second but I must have imagined it.

After watching them enter their house, I thought about what Dad had said. This was supposed to be a new beginning for me. Over the past six months, I had changed. Maybe starting over wouldn’t be a bad thing. Maybe it could be just what I needed.

With that, I finally got up the courage to enter my new home.