Avoid All Entanglements

The next few days passed with me doing most of the unpacking. Dad had to go to his office downtown and Mom did whatever she wanted to. It was surprisingly easy for me to unpack my things, as long as I didn't think about it too much.

I got to choose my own room too. The one I picked was the window I had been staring at, the one at the very top of the house. It would make keeping out of everyone’s way a lot easier and I spent most of my time inside, trying to soak up the last few days of summer before school started.

It wasn’t until Thursday morning that Dad said something at breakfast.

“Spence, don’t you want to go meet some new people? You’re starting school soon and it might be nice for you to get some new friends.”

I shovelled food into my mouth, faking nonchalance but trying to buy time. “I don’t know, Dad.”

“Well, the Evans were very welcoming when we arrived. They sent over a casserole when you were unpacking in your room. I think Jenna Evans mentioned that they had a kid around your age? I think his name was Tyler.”

I had stopped listening by the time he mentioned casserole. Casseroles equated to comfort food, things people sent when they wanted to show you that they were sorry but were too uncomfortable with coming up to you and actually saying something, as though tragedy was a contagious disease. It wasn’t until I heard the name Tyler that the alarm bells started ringing in my head.

“Did you just say Tyler? Do the Evans live near us?”

“I think they do. Did you meet him before?” Dad’s attention was now solely me. “In fact, I think Jenna mentioned something about Tyler throwing an end of summer break party tomorrow night. She invited you. You should go.”

Shaking my head, I felt panicky. Being the new kid was hard enough, going to a party where nobody knew you (aside from a guy whom you weren’t exactly friendly to) was the Mount Everest of difficulty. Besides, if it was Tyler’s party, Riley might be there and Riley had made it obvious that he didn’t like me.

“You will go, Spence. It isn’t healthy for you be at home all the time.”

He didn’t say what he really wanted too — that back when I was in track, I went out so often with my friends that we’d even fought about me juggling my social life and my grades. It was ironic how the tables had turned.

I would’ve argued with him but I noticed the lines around his eyes, the way he tried to keep his gaze at me but how his body was angled towards Mom, who looked distracted. I hated myself for noticing all these things about him, things I wouldn’t have cared about before and for noticing them now for all the wrong reasons. “Fine, I’ll go. But I’m going to check with Tyler Evans to see if it’s okay with him.”

Dad relaxed, like he’d expected more of a fight from me. He smiled slightly, the first genuine smile I’d seen in a long time. “That’s not a problem. I’ll be leaving for work now, see you tonight for dinner.”

He kissed Mom on the cheek goodbye and she looked away from him. His smile slipped slightly and he gave me a quick hug. Then he left.

Not long after, Mom left the table.

I closed my eyes, pretending that I hadn’t known anything else but this. Maybe it wouldn’t have hurt as much if I really believed but I wasn’t good enough a liar to lie to myself.

So I got up too, dumped the dishes in the sink and smoothened out my clothes. I wasn’t wearing anything special, just a pair of jeans and a plain white tank top but I knew I looked better than I had last seen Tyler Evans. I knew it wasn’t just because Tyler was a good-looking boy that I wanted to look nice to impress him but I ignored that feeling. I had crushes before and none of them worked out.

I wouldn’t expect anything else this time, especially now that I was damaged goods.

I walked slowly to his house, trying to plan what to say to him. I’d promised Dad that I would try. But even when I was knocking on his door, I hadn’t really thought about what to say to him, figuring that I would cross that bridge when I reached it.

A brown-haired girl opened the door. She looked maybe a few years older than I did; in fact she looked a lot like Tyler. She looked tired but she visibly brightened when she saw me. “Oh hey, are you a friend of Tyler’s?”

Before I could even say a word, she’d already turned her head back and shouted, “Ty, get your lazy ass down here! Your friend’s here and it’s not that disgusting pig Riley!”

She turned back to me, a pretty smile on her face. “I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Delia, Tyler’s older sister. Don’t worry I’m sure he’ll be down in a moment.”

“I’m Spencer, Spencer Thompson. I just moved here.” That was all I could up with. I tried to compensate with what I hoped was a friendly smile.

“That explains why I haven’t met you before. Word of advice, stay away from Riley. He’s trouble, that one.” Delia was still smiling as she said this, so I didn’t know how seriously to take her. Then she shouted back into her house again, “Hurry up, Ty! Spencer’s waiting for you.”

I wondered why she didn’t just let me into the house instead of shouting at Tyler.

As though Delia read my mind, she said, “Sorry about not being able to let you in. The house’s a total mess, I was supposed to clean it up after I got back from college last night but I got back late. Anyway, how do you like Rosewood so far?”

Fortunately, I didn’t have to reply her because Tyler had finally appeared. Like his sister, he was wearing a ready smile when he saw me. But he rolled his eyes at her, clearly catching what she’d asked me and said, “Come on, let’s go somewhere else to talk. It’s just too noisy around here.”

Delia shook her head at his brother, like she couldn’t believe what he said. I smiled apologetically, aware that she wasn’t really annoyed with him.

She grinned at me and said, “Hope to see you again, Spencer.”

We walked a little, not really saying anything until I noticed we had almost reached Riley’s. It was nice of him not to ask me outright why I was looking for him but it also made things incredibly awkward. So I said, trying to make conversation, “Does Delia go to a college nearby or something?”

“Yup, there’s actually a college downtown. She wanted to go somewhere near home.” Tyler glanced at me, like he was trying to read me. “Not me though, I want to go somewhere far away.”

Not really absorbing anything he said, I decided to bite the bullet. “Um, I heard about your party tomorrow night. Do you, uh, mind if I come?”

“Sure, it’ll be great if you could come. I’m sorry about how Riley was a jerk to you that day. He just doesn’t let his guard down easily.” Tyler didn’t continue explaining, instead he said, “You’ll meet some awesome people around here.”

He didn’t knowing anything about me but still trying to help me fit in. I wondered what he would do if he knew all that had happened in the past few months, how I’d felt invisible and when I wasn’t, I felt like I wanted to be. Would he still be so generous towards me?

“So where were you from previously, Spencer? I mean, I’ve lived in Rosewood my whole life so I don’t know how moving feels.” We’d passed by Riley’s house now, but Tyler didn’t look like he was about to stop.

“I was from Kingston, Florida. This is the first time I’ve moved and it feels weird, I guess. You’ve been friends with Riley your whole life?”

He flashed me a quick, heartbreaker’s smile and I had to remind myself not to overreact. He was only being nice. “Yeah I have, well almost. Met him in second grade when he dared me to eat paste.”

I smiled slightly.

We continued talking for a while, about his family, his sister and their neighbourhood. He told me about the annual summer games which I’d missed, about how the street got turned into a giant dodge ball zone for two days during summer and about the school track team, which Tyler really was in.

Once in a while, he would ask me about my old life and I tried to answer as honestly as I could but with as little detail as possible. He was still someone I didn’t know well and I wasn’t here to make friends, I just wanted to fit in. Eventually he seemed to get the idea that I didn’t want to talk about myself, asking me little about my old life and more about what I liked.

Somehow Tyler’s easy charm helped me to stop feeling awkward and start to forget about how intimidating I found him. Instead, I started to relax, allowing myself to laugh when I felt like it and stop pretending to be normal because right then, I started to feel like I was normal.

“Do you mind if I ask you something?” asked Tyler, when there was a lull in conversation.

“Sure, what do you want to know?”

His hands were in his pockets, his gaze somewhere down the street. I thought he hadn’t heard me but then he asked, quietly, “What scares you most in this world?”

“...why are you asking this?” I winced, realising how accusatory my tone was. I wanted to take it back, but it was no good. His question had startled me, reminded me of what I had forgotten, that reality could be cruel and that what I was frightened of was happening to me already.

“What scares me most is failing to get into a college. So much of my future depends on it and if I don’t get into anywhere, that would just be a nightmare. My family would probably kill me or something.” He paused for a second. “Wow, it sounds kind of stupid when I say it aloud.” Tyler laughed at himself, breaking his thoughtful expression. “So what are you scared of?”

It didn’t seem fair to keep it to myself now that he’d opened up so I tried. “I’m scared of being alone.”

He nodded, although he had no idea that I was talking about right now.

I cleared my throat, wondering how we’d gotten here, how I’d almost felt like telling him everything when I’d only just met him. “Do you know what time it is?”

Tyler checked his watch. “Almost noon, is there somewhere you need to go?”

“Yeah, I got to go home.”

“I’ll walk you back.”

I shook my head. “No it’s alright.”

I turned around and left before he could say another word, not wanting to show him how close he’d had been to breaking down all the boundaries I had carefully put up.