Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things.

I think all people are left with scars as they grow. Not visible scars, scars that you can't see. Scars that lie deep in the darkest corners of your mind. But they're there. and they'll affect you in every aspect of your life. Just little parts of your brain that are tarnished by experiences that have passed you in your growing years. That stop you doing things. And as you grow they can develop further and further until in some people there is no pureness left in their brains that has not been ruined by these markings. I secretly think that this is why people go insane.
I don't have many of these "scars", but the ones i have aren't too great. I secretly have a slight fear of people. Humans in general. They intimidate me. And, at times, humans can really be the most awful, disgusting, judgmental things. This is why i prefer to keep to myself. But i have never done well at coping with boredom. And i have awful problems with feeling immensity lonely. It gets awfully annoying and confusing, you know. To have all of these things that are complete opposites of each other, all playing on your mind. It can make life hard sometimes.

I've had rather a bit of trouble sleeping lately. I think it's because i have been having trouble trying to calm down enough to. I look forward to seeing HIM. even if it's just for a second. But i have almost perfected the art of opening your eyes as far as you can without seeming like you are. This means i have longer to watch him.
I can almost recall every single part of his appearance. The way his eyes can pierce through my skin and it becomes increasingly hard not to smile. The way the pale moonlight streams through small rips through my curtain, onto his porcelain skin. I can hum the tune that he so often hums by heart, yet i can still not place what song it is.

I've not told anyone about him yet. My "friends" weren't very friendly and usually made school a painful experience at the least. The constant bitching and "leaving out" was almost too much to bear. Being in a group of five, they pair off, i'm usually left alone. I just don't blame them really, i can't be the most fun person to be around. My mood swings are too much for me to handle and sudden thoughts sometimes hit me that somethings not right. I don't know what, but after that i can't focus, and become very VERY aggravated. Whatever the case may be, i felt more alone with my friends than i did any other time.
My parent's weren't a world apart either. Don't get me wrong, they're lovely people but they always seem to be busy whenever i'm around. it isn't great. And again, my mood swings are too much for them to cope with.

Which left me feeling like nobody cared. that's why i was so interested with this boy. He must have cared somehow, or else he wouldn't be there. So that night i was determined to stay awake.

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I once again awoke without opening my eyelids. And did the usual routine and half opened my eyes. I stared for about ten minutes at the porcelain boy before closing my eyes again.
"Don't" i spoke into the darkness. I didn't reopen my eyes when i heard the beginning of a hissing noise.
"Please. Just a minute. Please"
The boy stopped, and i flickered open my eyelashes.
This was the first REAL look i had had at him. Any others i had had with my eyes wide open where quickly cut off. His eyes really where so beautiful, like pure blue crystals. And his lips where perfectly rounded at the bottom.
"Who are you" i spluttered out.
The boy blinked, a slight smile played at his lips.
" My name is Johnny Heald."
His voice was beautiful. Slightly like a Camdener, but with a slight manchester hint to it.
"Why are you here?"
" if you wan' to stay awake i'd avoid that question, just for now. When the time comes, i'll tell you". "
My instinct warned me against it, but i wasn't going to let it slip that easy.
" And are you a Ghost?"
Johnny's smiled vanished. And a blank look entered his face.
" I don't really like that word. Ghost. I am a human. Just not entirely alive. "
"So you're dead?" i cut in, my voice slightly shaking, but not with fear.
" i suppose so, yes."

I sat up in my bed and shrugged the duvet down to my hips.
" And why are you in my bedroom". i quizzed, staring him right in the eyes, which seemed to be almost glowing in the darkness.
" I don't believe that is important just yet" he replied.
" This is my house. My room. And i demand you to tell me right now". I don't know why i came out with that. But i got the feeling that he didn't want me to be afraid. I sounded confident at least. But too confident.
" Oh, demanding? Grumpy are we? i can't say i blame you, you haven't had much rest lately. And you need your....sleep."
And that was it. My eyelids felt heavier and heavier. I fought as hard as i could. Trying to force them open. I lasted around ten seconds until i could no longer take it. And before i had much time to argue with Johnny, whoever he may be. I was in a deep, deep sleep.