Sarah Smiles

The phone shook in her hand as she dialled his number. Was she really ready to tell him this? Was it the right time? Was it the right thing to do? To her, it was. She was losing him and she could see it, and this could possibly be the only way of making sure he stayed with her.

Sarah had become apparent to the change in Brendon’s behaviour during their visit in Chicago. She knew he was in love with his best friend, it was obvious. But something in him changed on their trip, he had realised who he was in love with and it wasn’t herself. How he found out, she didn’t know. Brendon had refused to go with her to visit her parents, and that to her was defiantly out of the ordinary. Yes, she and Brendon both knew how much her parents didn’t approve of their daughter dating yet another band member but it had never stopped Brendon attempting to win them over with his charms. To Brendon it was an uncharted quest to win the approval of her parents. A challenge. She merely accepted his excuse as to why he wasn’t attending the trip with her even though she was pretty sure he was lying.

The sound of Brendon’s voice suddenly broke Sarah out of her thoughts. Her heart pumped in her throat. Was she really going to do this? She mumbled a greeting back to Brendon; her voice was quite and soft to avoid it from cracking due to the bile that had suddenly appeared in her throat. Her body melted into the sofa she was resting on, could she really do this to the man she loved? She shook her head trying to void all the deterring thoughts. She had planned it out. She had already decided. Brendon’s voice was sharply cut off by her own. She was doing it. Words spewed from her mouth, she didn’t even realise what she was saying. The only two words she could recall were. “I’m Pregnant.”

That’s when she heard a cracking sound, and then silence. Sarah had called out his name, literally screaming. Her heart rammed against her ribs and her stomach tussled and turned. He hadn’t hung up, but he wasn’t replying to her which was much worse. What had she done?

Sarah suddenly stopped calling when she could hear a faint female voice also chanting out Brendon’s name. She pressed the phone hard against her ear in attempt to make the voice more audible. She felt sick when she recognised the voice. It was her. What was he doing with her? The hand holding the phone clenched it harder till her knuckles turned white, her whole body shook.

“Brendon, are you okay?” The soft feminine voice asked. Another shuffling sound became apparent to Sarah’s ears. A Brendon’s voice appeared again replying to the female’s voice.

“I’ll tell you later.” There was another silent pause for several seconds until Brendon was finally speaking to her again. “I’m sorry about that. I, I was just shocked.”

“You’re not happy about it, are you?” Sarah couldn’t help but seethe.

“No, no no. I am. Of course I am. I love you.” He let out a sigh. “But I just wasn’t expecting it. I thought, I thought you were on the pill.”

Her heart suddenly begun to race again and her anger was replaced by urgency and panic. She had to think of an excuse and quick. “I must have forgotten to of taken it.” She threw the palm of her hand to her face. A terrible reason but the only one she could think of. Lucky for her, he brought it.

Sarah found her whole body shaking; she wished she could have taken everything she had told Brendon back. She couldn’t hack hearing his voice again. She abruptly told him she had to go and before he could say anything more to her, she hung up. She sat up from the sofa her body was previously laying on and buried her face in her hands. She felt sick. What had she done? What had she gotten herself into?

She could imagine him then, confused and baffled. She had just left him hanging at a crucial moment. But she couldn’t, she couldn’t stand to hear his concerned caring voice speaking to her, completely oblivious to what she was doing. She could imagine him now running his hands through his hair, pacing up and down. A wreck. Then she imagined her, the girl she hated and envied so much comforting her boyfriend and everything she had just done began to feel like it was worth it.

Yes, she had lied to her boyfriend. Lied about something big. But it was the only way to rip Brendon away from the shark that had an iron like grip on him.

You fooled my twice with your lies…