Back to Square One
Only Way To Cope
It’s been exactly three years since I’ve last seen her face. Three years since I’ve heard her laugh, three years since I’ve felt her kiss and three years since I’ve fucked up. I wake up everyday, and that’s the first thing that I think about. Every morning afternoon of everyday.
“Get your ass up, there’s a meeting today,” my brother banged on my door. I rolled my eyes, groaning and got up, looking at my messed up bed. My empty messed up bed. Which would’ve had my wife in it if I weren’t such a fucker.
I went into the bathroom, quickly showering and doing my shit and walked out dressed in my suit and tie where my brother and sister were waiting. They glanced at me without a greeting, and made their way to their own cars. If you haven’t noticed, they’re a little bit bitter towards me. Okay, maybe just my sister was a little bit bitter, but everyone else was pretty much pissed at me. Even after three years.
Time apparently doesn’t work well for healing.
I grunted, knowing that it would be a long day, and walked out of the house in my own car. The car that I’ve been driving for three years now, the Subaru that Hazelyn gave me for my 21st birthday. Why I still haven’t changed it? Well, it makes me feel a lot closer to her in a way.
Let me get you caught up with what happened in the past three years. I’ve been emailing Hazelyn about what has happened in my life every single day before I sleep. Where she is, I have no clue. I’ve been waiting for at least one reply from her so I could track her down, but nothing. I don’t know if she reads my emails, since she hasn’t replied, but I hope she does. I haven’t exactly explained what happened after she left, since I thought it would be more personal if I told her face to face.
I’ve been going to Paris every year on that same day hoping to see her there, but no such luck. I’ve also been spending summers in the Fiji Islands, hoping that there too, she might show up. But then again, luck hates me. That or my sister has been telling her. Of course my sister would, they’re bestfriends! It’s all that girl loyalty shit that gets in the way of us being siblings.
Stephanie though tells me that Hazelyn is doing well, but in all honesty she didn’t know where Hazelyn went. She first left with Luke, Sam, Kyle and Gabriel but she went off by herself after a year and a half, and not even the four know where she is. She shows up at some competitions that the Frends Crew compete in, and I try to catch a glimpse of her, but remember? Luck isn’t on my side right now.
Everyday, I imagine how life would’ve been like if all the Audrey drama didn’t get in the way. How happy would have I been if we were married? Would we have started a family now? She made me think of things that I would’ve never imagined myself to think because she’s Hazelyn. She’s the love of my life.
I also always wonder if she really has gotten over me. If she really did move on from me, and if she has found herself somebody better, but I guess I’ll just find out when I see her again. She promised that she’d come back, and I trust her. Not once has she lied to me, and I doubt that she’d break her promise this time.
We got out of the meeting two hours later. I didn’t know what it was about. I just sat there, nodding my head and acting like I understood it but my mind was only focused on one thing. Hazelyn.
I drove over to a familiar coffee shop, giving my best smile to the person sitting in one of the booths. I opened the door, immediately tackled by the aroma of fresh roasted coffee and made my way to place my order then slid myself into the booth in front of them.
“Hey Ry,” she leaned over and kissed my lips. I know what you’re thinking: What are you doing, Dolciani?! Are you trying to get yourself in deeper shit?! But come on now, she’s a goddess.
“Hey Megan,” I smiled at her. You’re thinking right. Megan Fox. I mean, come on. I’m practically a celebrity. A celebrity without a girlfriend? They’re bound to think that I’m still stuck on my ex-fiancé. Either that, or I’m gay. Since they had no idea of the reason that our wedding didn’t come through
“How was your day?” she asked, pouting her pump lips at me.
“I just got out of a meeting,” I sighed.
“No wonder you look sharp,” she winked licking her lips seductively at me.
“I always do,” I chuckled and winked at her.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“What makes you ask?”
“I don’t know, you seem down today,” she frowned.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you’d usually attack me with kisses already,” she frowned.
“Oh, I’m sorry hun,” I frowned and made my way over to her, kissing her roughly, just the way she likes it.
“Slow down cowboy, save some for tonight,” she pushed me gently, biting her lip and standing up.
We went out to dinner for our 6 month anniversary, and made our way to my place and got to business.
I know it’s wrong, but it’s the only way to get over her. The only way for me to cope.
“Get your ass up, there’s a meeting today,” my brother banged on my door. I rolled my eyes, groaning and got up, looking at my messed up bed. My empty messed up bed. Which would’ve had my wife in it if I weren’t such a fucker.
I went into the bathroom, quickly showering and doing my shit and walked out dressed in my suit and tie where my brother and sister were waiting. They glanced at me without a greeting, and made their way to their own cars. If you haven’t noticed, they’re a little bit bitter towards me. Okay, maybe just my sister was a little bit bitter, but everyone else was pretty much pissed at me. Even after three years.
Time apparently doesn’t work well for healing.
I grunted, knowing that it would be a long day, and walked out of the house in my own car. The car that I’ve been driving for three years now, the Subaru that Hazelyn gave me for my 21st birthday. Why I still haven’t changed it? Well, it makes me feel a lot closer to her in a way.
Let me get you caught up with what happened in the past three years. I’ve been emailing Hazelyn about what has happened in my life every single day before I sleep. Where she is, I have no clue. I’ve been waiting for at least one reply from her so I could track her down, but nothing. I don’t know if she reads my emails, since she hasn’t replied, but I hope she does. I haven’t exactly explained what happened after she left, since I thought it would be more personal if I told her face to face.
I’ve been going to Paris every year on that same day hoping to see her there, but no such luck. I’ve also been spending summers in the Fiji Islands, hoping that there too, she might show up. But then again, luck hates me. That or my sister has been telling her. Of course my sister would, they’re bestfriends! It’s all that girl loyalty shit that gets in the way of us being siblings.
Stephanie though tells me that Hazelyn is doing well, but in all honesty she didn’t know where Hazelyn went. She first left with Luke, Sam, Kyle and Gabriel but she went off by herself after a year and a half, and not even the four know where she is. She shows up at some competitions that the Frends Crew compete in, and I try to catch a glimpse of her, but remember? Luck isn’t on my side right now.
Everyday, I imagine how life would’ve been like if all the Audrey drama didn’t get in the way. How happy would have I been if we were married? Would we have started a family now? She made me think of things that I would’ve never imagined myself to think because she’s Hazelyn. She’s the love of my life.
I also always wonder if she really has gotten over me. If she really did move on from me, and if she has found herself somebody better, but I guess I’ll just find out when I see her again. She promised that she’d come back, and I trust her. Not once has she lied to me, and I doubt that she’d break her promise this time.
~/~/~/~/~
We got out of the meeting two hours later. I didn’t know what it was about. I just sat there, nodding my head and acting like I understood it but my mind was only focused on one thing. Hazelyn.
I drove over to a familiar coffee shop, giving my best smile to the person sitting in one of the booths. I opened the door, immediately tackled by the aroma of fresh roasted coffee and made my way to place my order then slid myself into the booth in front of them.
“Hey Ry,” she leaned over and kissed my lips. I know what you’re thinking: What are you doing, Dolciani?! Are you trying to get yourself in deeper shit?! But come on now, she’s a goddess.
“Hey Megan,” I smiled at her. You’re thinking right. Megan Fox. I mean, come on. I’m practically a celebrity. A celebrity without a girlfriend? They’re bound to think that I’m still stuck on my ex-fiancé. Either that, or I’m gay. Since they had no idea of the reason that our wedding didn’t come through
“How was your day?” she asked, pouting her pump lips at me.
“I just got out of a meeting,” I sighed.
“No wonder you look sharp,” she winked licking her lips seductively at me.
“I always do,” I chuckled and winked at her.
“Is something wrong?” she asked.
“What makes you ask?”
“I don’t know, you seem down today,” she frowned.
“Oh?”
“Yeah, you’d usually attack me with kisses already,” she frowned.
“Oh, I’m sorry hun,” I frowned and made my way over to her, kissing her roughly, just the way she likes it.
“Slow down cowboy, save some for tonight,” she pushed me gently, biting her lip and standing up.
We went out to dinner for our 6 month anniversary, and made our way to my place and got to business.
I know it’s wrong, but it’s the only way to get over her. The only way for me to cope.