Lavender Sweater and a Volkswagen Jetta

As the woman said that our flight was now boarding over the intercom, I never knew that my life would turn into a huge tornado. Kylie squeezed my hand to capture my attention. I looked up at her angelic face; her eyes that resembled her father’s, her pouty lips curled into a small smile, her brown hair that flowed past her shoulders, her ivory cheeks that burned bright red when she’s under the sun.

“Aren’t we going to the plane now, mommy?” She asked.

I gave her a small smile. “Yes, honey. Come on, uncle Kennedy will be waiting for us on the other side.”

She clapped her hands and jumped happily. I got up from my seat and slung my bag on my shoulder. I looked down at my four year old daughter as she gripped on my hand while we walked towards the line of people boarding the plane to Arizona. I knew she wasn’t a mistake. She never was a mistake.

We settled into our seats. Kylie chose the seat next to the window. I buckled her up as the stewardess told the passengers that the plane will be taking off in the next five minutes. She kept looking out the window with a huge grin on her face. Then she turned to me. “Mommy, will uncle Jawn be with uncle Kenny when we get to Awizona?”

I combed her hair with my fingers. “No, sweetie, it’ll only be uncle Kenny. But I do think that Pat’s going to be with him when we get there.”

Her eyes widened. “Is Pat going to give me a piggyback ride when we land?” She exclaimed.

I laughed lightly. “Of course he will, baby.”

She sat back down with a smile plastered across her face. We left New Jersey and headed back to where Kylie was born. Back to where I got closer to her father. Back to the place where my life became a huge wreck. Where she will finally meet her father. Where he will finally learn that Kylie is his.

Hours later, the stewardess told everyone that we will be landing in fifteen minutes. I looked at Kylie’s sleeping body next to me and I shook her lightly, telling her that we’re at Arizona. I didn’t sleep throughout the whole flight; I couldn’t help but wonder what his reaction will be.

When we finally got back down to the land, Kylie couldn’t help but jump around the waiting area at the airport. She then settled down next to me and told me she was hungry. I frowned. How could I get her something to eat when I’m going to leave her alone there?

“Princess, are you going to be okay here all alone and wait for uncle Kennedy while mommy’s buying you something to eat?”

She nodded. “I won’t leave, mommy. I pwomise!”

I kissed her hair and told her I’ll be right back. When I was far from her, I started to get nervous about her sitting there all alone. I shook off the thought and told the man behind the counter what I was going to order. I paid him when he handed me the bagel, a bottle of water, and my coffee.

When I walked back to where my daughter was at, I instantly smiled.

“Here’s your bagel, princess,” I said, handing her the bagel. She grinned and snatched it from my hands. She was sitting on Kennedy’s lap while Pat was next to them with a grin on his face. Pat stood up and gave me a hug in which I returned.

“I’m glad you took John’s advice,” He whispered.

“I’m just… scared of what will happen when he learns that Kylie’s his.” I mumbled before sipping on the cup of hot coffee.

The ride back to my old apartment just brought back a torrent of memories. My eyes were focused on the road. Pat was in the backseat with Kylie sleeping on his lap. Aside from the radio station that played songs in the 90’s era, the car was dead silent; no one bothered to breathe out a single word.

We stopped at a stoplight when Kennedy looked at me and asked, “How are you going to explain to Kylie that her father’s here in Arizona?”

My eyes averted to him and back at the sidewalk. “She never really asked about her dad, so right now, I have no idea.” I murmured.

“She never asked about who her father is?” Pat piped in.

I shook my head. Kylie never did. I felt something punch a hole in my heart and it felt like it was guilt. I never even bothered to tell her about her father, what he was like, how she looks so much like him, how she got her traits from him. Right then, I wanted to cry. I felt bad not having to tell her about him.

But somehow, it felt right. If I did tell my daughter about him, I would be tearing up every time I talk about him to her. I would be lying if I said I never thought about him. Kylie looked so much like her dad that it just reminds me of when I was with him.

We settled in the old apartment I stayed at when I met everyone. After I set Kylie in bed, I walked back to the kitchen where Kennedy was at. Pat took off after dropping us off. I took out a carton of orange juice and poured myself a glass. I leaned on the counter and sipped on the liquid.

“We’re having a barbecue tomorrow at John’s house,” He said, his eyes glued to his phone.

I frowned. “Why?”

“Because you’re finally back, Elle.” He said softly. I looked down at the floor and he continued. “Don’t worry, he doesn’t know you’re back. He just replied saying that he’s coming, that’s all.”

“But wouldn’t he be surprised if he sees I’m back?”

“And that’s the purpose of all this. To surprise him.” Kennedy said as he hopped off the stool and walked towards me. “I’d love to stay and chat but it’s getting late. I’ll see you tomorrow at John’s place at 11. It was nice to finally see you again after you disappeared for four years on us,” He hugged me and left.

I stared at the kitchen floor with a frown on my face. I placed the glass on the sink, turned out the lights, and went to bed. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day.