Lavender Sweater and a Volkswagen Jetta

After talking so much about what happened to the both of us back at our sanctuary, Garrett drove us back to town and all the while, I had a simper look on my face and I felt exultant. For the first time in a long time, I’ve never been happier. I thought Garrett would leave once he saw me in John’s backyard yesterday like he always did back when we were together, but I guess the tables have been turned.

I didn’t know I would cry so much in two days. I haven’t cried that much ever since my favourite uncle died when I was seven. That was probably the last time I cried so hard… apart from when I left Arizona and decided to live in New Jersey. My eyes were all red and puffy, I had to wear sunglasses.

Garrett drove us place to place; from where we first hung out to and to the place where we had our first date. It was full of talks and memories that flooded back to my head that I pushed aside for the whole four years I wasn’t here. I could only smile and try not to let the tears spill out of my eyes once more.

I didn’t realize we spent the whole day driving from one place to another until we entered the restaurant he took me to on our first date. I was surprised it was still there. The place looked completely empty; it was just me, Garrett, and the staff.

Once we took our seats and the host gave us the menus, Garrett said the exact words he told me four years ago, “Pick whatever you like.” And he gave me a warm smile. The lights dimmed down and a waiter came and lighted the candle that was on the centre of the table.

“Why is the restaurant deserted?” I whispered once the waiter left.

He smirked and replied, “Jules’ dad owned this, remember? Then he passed the management to her and now she owns the place. Last night, I asked her if she could shut the place down just for the two of us. And, well, yeah. That pretty much explains why no one else is here but you, me, and her staff.”

I couldn’t say anything. I was speechless. He asked my best friend to shut down the place for one day just so we could eat dinner? What was he thinking? What did Jules tell him? And most of all, what’s the meaning of this? What was he trying to prove? I should be the one who’s making up to those years we were apart, not him.

I decided to leave it at that and just ordered what I saw first. The waiters came and placed what we ordered on the table and we ate. Halfway through eating, I noticed Garrett whisper something to the host and the host nodded with a grin. I debated whether to ask him or not, but soon deciding not to.

Just then, the curtains of the stage in front of us pulled back, only to reveal Brie, Kennedy, Jared, Pat, and John up there with their instruments. I started to wonder why Brie was up there holding a bass guitar. Of course, how could I have forgotten? She was in a band back in high school and she played bass. Mentally, I slapped myself for forgetting.

“So, uh, Miss Monaco might be wondering why we’re up here and all that.” John said to the microphone set up in front of him. To be honest, I was wondering. “Well, we’re here to play for you guys, obviously and… actually, we’re only going to play one song and then we’ll let you guys be.” John chuckled.

They started playing ‘Into Your Arms’. Just as they finished playing, Garrett pulled me out of my seat and out to the beach. The sun was gone and replaced by the moon and stars. I kicked off my shoes and so did he.

Garrett held my hand as we walked on the sand. I wasn’t quite sure why he led me here after our friends played… and why he was holding my hand. But one thing I know is for sure is that this moment was just right.

“I don’t know how you do it…” I muttered, looking down at the sand.

“Do what?”

“You make the littlest things become one of the most important moments of my life.” I said, glancing at him and then to the ocean. “I’m supposed to be the one who’s making up for everything, not you.”

As soon as I said that, we stopped short. I didn’t question why. Garrett sighed and whispered, “You’re never going to get it, aren’t you?”

For the record, I didn’t know what he meant. I didn’t understand any of this. Why was he so cool about this whole thing? Wasn’t he supposed to be mad at me for leaving and then coming back by surprise? Wasn’t he supposed to be yelling at me by now?

I just shook my head. I dropped his hand and sat down on the sand. Soon enough, he sat down next to me, looking at me. I tried avoiding his eyes by staring at the wide ocean in front of us. “I… want you back in my life, Joelle.” Garrett finally said after the long and awkward silence.

Was I supposed to believe that? It’s not that I didn’t want him back, but the fact that… isn’t he going too fast? Of course, I told him everything that I had to say although I didn’t say enough, like I wasn’t finished. I left him for four years with no contact whatsoever. And now, after all the pain I caused, he wants me back?

I wasn’t sure of what to say. I might end up twisting my words and leave him confused. This isn’t what I’m expecting from him at all. It’s far from what I’ve expected.

“Joelle, at least say something. I’ve never heard a silence quite this loud.” He pleaded.

I sighed and looked at him in the eye. “I just want you to know—before this relationship even goes somewhere—that… I’m terrified. I’m terrified that… I might end up hurting you again like I did before and I don’t want that to happen again.”

“We can do something about that. Believe me.” Garrett whispered. He held my hand and said, “Seeing you yesterday at John’s house made me realize I missed you more than I ever did. I missed holding you in my arms.”

“Is that the reason why the guys played ‘Into Your Arms’ earlier?”

“Well… yeah.”

It took time for me to process in my head what I just heard. This really wasn’t what I’m expecting when I fly back here after magically disappearing from them for a long time. The one guy I truly loved actually wants me back in his life. And to top it all off, I broke his heart and this is what I’m hearing.

I found myself throwing my arms around his neck and let him wrap his arms around me. And like yesterday, I kept on mumbling ‘I’m sorry’ to him. I never would’ve imagined this would happen once I come back from Jersey.


Once the door to my apartment was unlocked, Kylie went straight inside and in to her room. My hand was still holding on to the doorknob and Garrett pulled it back to close it. I turned to him and he had his smirk on his face. I puzzled. What is he up to now?

Garrett didn’t say anything. The both of us were just standing there, looking into each other’s eyes. I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle his gaze; I was already melting, dammit! I didn’t notice him leaning in until I could feel his breath tickling my face.

“Garrett, what are you—“ I whispered until his lips crashed on to mine. The kiss was just like what we had on our first date; sweet, careful, and somewhat innocent. It was like what I’ve always dreamed of what my first kiss would be. For a moment, I didn’t realize I kissed back until he pulled away with a smile on his face before saying, “I’ll see you around.”

He entered the elevator and before the doors could even close, he held up his hand, waving me goodbye with a smirk. I did the same until the doors closed. My fingertips made their way slowly to my lips, delicately touching them and thinking, did Garrett really just kiss me?

When I entered the apartment, Kylie was standing by the corridor, her teddy bear in her arms and a confused look on her face. I told her Garrett and I just talked and she left it at that, kissing me on the cheek goodnight and headed back to her room.

I changed into my pyjamas and when I flopped back down on the bed, my phone went off. I reached for my bag and grabbed my phone. I had one new message.

Hope you sleep well tonight. I’ll call you when I have the time. –Garrett

I smiled once I read the text. As I thought about what to reply, I only found myself staring at the moon by the window once again and dozed off.


“You have got to be kidding me.”

I looked around the size of the house Jared bought for me. It was decent enough just for me and Kylie. The walls were in a faded peach colour, the wooden floor was still in good shape. There were three bedrooms; a master’s bedroom, a guests’ room, and Kylie’s. The bathroom was just right for the two of us.

“I’m not. He really did kiss me.” I said, looking around the rooms upstairs.

It has been a week since I came back and Jared told me he saw that his neighbour moved away to another country and decided to buy the house for me and Kylie. I dragged Jules, Brie, and Jess along with me to check on the house. I dropped Kylie off at Jared’s so the girls and I could see it.

“And what did he say after he kissed you?” Jess asked as they looked around the house.

“He had a smile on his face and told me he’ll see me around and… he left.”

“That’s it?” Brie scoffed.

“Come on Brie! This isn’t any kind of ‘that’s it’; it’s Garrett and Joelle we’re talking about here and how Garrett kissed our best friend after their date.” Jules said.

I turned to them and said, “It wasn’t a date, alright? He wanted to go out and catch up, that’s all.”

“That’s what he wants you to think.” Jess said jokingly.

I rolled my eyes and continued to go out to the backyard and sat on the patio. The girls followed suit and sat down on both of my sides. “When will you be moving here?” Brie asked. I could only shrug. We sat there in silence, not saying a word.

“So, now that we’re done checking the house out, should we go to the mall?” Jess asked us.

Brie’s head shot up and nodded furiously with a huge grin on her face. Jules agreed. I told them I had to call Jared and ask him to look after Kylie while we were out. Of course, he said it was okay and that he could call the guys up to come over so they could have company.

The girls and I went around different stores where Brie thought there was ‘something cute’ in there. We could only fake a smile and nod to her, not actually caring. Jess and I excused ourselves from the two and told them we need to go to the restroom when in reality, we just wanted to get some time for ourselves.

Jess and I walked mindlessly into a record store and looked through the CDs there while we talked about the things that happened to the two of us during those years we weren’t seeing each other.

“Joelle?”

I looked up, only to see Brian Dales and John Gomez on the other side of the row of old albums I’ve been looking through for the past five minutes. My hand kept steady on a Goo Goo Dolls album and grinned at the two. “Brian, John, hey.”

“W-what are you doing back in Arizona?” John asked with a surprised look on his face.

“To be honest, I don’t know why I came back.” I chuckled. “I guess, I took in what O’Callaghan said when he called me one cold night back in Jersey and finally had the nerve to come back after my disappearance.”

The two went around the row of albums to get closer to me and gave me a hug. Jess finally showed up after disappearing into the other section of the store shortly after Brian and John gave me a hug. The four of us left the store and went straight to the food court where Brie and Jules were.

We ordered our food and sat down in one of the tables and started to talk. Soon enough, the boys had to leave and it was just us girls again. We finally decided to go back to Jared’s house and hang out with them instead.


Just when I thought all of us would hang out together, the guys and girls found their partners and engaged into their own little conversation. Kylie fell asleep in Jared’s room as soon as the girls and I came back. Seeing that almost everyone had drinks in their hands, I decided to pour myself a glass of wine Brie took out of Jared’s cupboard.

Once I got my wine, I stepped out to the front porch and sat down on one of the benches my brother had there. I sat there, staring at something, my mind lost in its own train of thought as I sipped on the wine every once in a while.

“Funny seeing you out here,” someone said. I looked up to see Garrett holding a red plastic cup. I smiled up at him genuinely and mumbled a ‘hey’. “Mind if I sit with you?” He asked. I nodded.

“Why aren’t you inside with the others?” I asked him.

He stared out to the empty street before saying, “I really didn’t feel like talking to any of them.” And flashed me a smile. I knew that wasn’t what he meant so I just let out a small laugh. We started talking about the old times, excluding the time we dated of course. But at some point, neither of us could help ourselves to stop making a reference to our relationship.

“What happened to us, Joelle?” Garrett whispered, his eyes glued to the floorboards.

In my head, I didn’t know. I didn’t know what happened to us. All I know is for sure is that I left him with a broken heart and that’s it. But to our relationship? I don’t know. I only gave him a hefty sigh and drank the rest of my wine.

“I don’t know… honestly. Maybe it’s because of the endless fights we never got the chance to solve. Maybe it’s because of my ‘friendship’ with Joel. Maybe it’s because of how naïve I was. Maybe… maybe it’s because of me.” I told him as I stared at the empty glass that cradled between my fingers.

“You didn’t even say goodbye,”

“I wanted to, but I could only say I was sorry because it was obvious you were fuming when I told you everything that happened between us was a mistake when it wasn’t.” I said as I turned to him. “Garrett, those six months we were together as a couple, was the best six months I could ever ask for. And believe me when I say that you were the best thing I ever had.”

Garrett just stared at the wooden floorboards. “I want to get back together with you, Garrett, I do, but like I said, I’m terrified that I might break you like I did before.” I whispered.

He finally looked up at me and said, “You know I waited such a long time for someone like you to come along but they never did. It was always you.” His gaze turned back to the open street. “But now, I guess I’m falling in love but it’s falling apart…”

“You know I still love you, right?” I mumbled.

Garrett sat up straight and turned to me as his hand caressed my cheek. “I never stopped loving you.” He whispered. I gave him a small smile and hugged him as tight as I could. I never wanted to let go.

I finally found a good reason to come home.