A spotlight of my own

By the time we got back to the hotel it was 1am, I collapsed on my bed without changing out of my Pens jersey or dress. I feel asleep thinking to myself what was there to dream about? My dream had already been accomplished, I was an NHLer.

Morning came quick and before I knew it was time for me to leave to go to my Penguins meeting at 4pm. Junior and Danielle drove me to the hotel while everyone went and toured downtown LA. The Penguins guy, whom I still didn’t know the name of, told me the meeting would probably take about 30 minutes so Jr and Danielle mentioned they’d just go grab coffee.

I waved them goodbye and headed into the huge hotel. I was greeted by the Pittsburgh man waiting for me, His expression worried me a bit but I played it off. He led me across the lobby to the main ballroom. Walking into the room I could already feel tension, There was one table set up in the middle of the room with four guys not facing me. The Pittsburgh man nodded for me to walk towards them, so I did, as I got closer one by one the guys revealed their faces.

Sidney was the first. He turned and smiled, not a normal nice smile though, a smile that gave off nothing, emotionless.

Mario Lemieux was the next, he didn’t even offer a smile but a blank stare. I chose not to make eye- contact but look at the one chair on the other side of the table

After Mario came an un-familiar face, I would come to realize it was Dan Bylsma. He nodded at me and turned back around to whatever was on the table.

The fourth face didn’t show itself until I sat down. I was beyond shocked to see that it was Bobby. I studied him up and down and something felt off beyond the fact that he wasn’t a Penguin nor part of their division. He didn’t look up at all, I should of taken the hint then but I was naive.

“Hello Shauna.” Mario spoke as I broke my glance from Bobby. I nodded and smiled in reply but fidgeted in my chair, something felt horribly wrong. “Shauna this is Dan Bylsma and you do know the other two.”

“I do…” I responded in a condensing tone.

“Well Shauna I want to make this short and sweet, your not going to like it and you probably won’t get it but in the long run you’ll understand.” Mario smirked at me but my focus was back on Bobby, for a slight second he locked eyes with me. His face was emotionless but his eyes gave off a fearful tone.

“Ok.”

“Shauna remember at Shattuck when we were on the line together?” Sidney spoke up and looked at me with a face similar to Mario’s.

“I do.”

“Well you took my spotlight away… and I’m here for revenge.” I gave him a confused look while Dan and Mario smiled, Bobby just kept staring down. “Shauna I’m not letting you take this spotlight away, you won’t be a Penguin next year.”

I couldn’t grasp what was happening, it seemed like everything got dizzy but I answered with a nod before Bobby looked up and began to talk.

“I didn’t want to do this Shauna, I was forced.” Bobby gave the men sitting next to him pure disgust which earned him laughs from them. “Our relationship…It’s not real.”

All eyes were focused on me but only 4 words came out of my moth, “Is this a joke?”
“No.” The 3 Pittsburghers said in unison while Bobby looked back down towards his feet.

“So why would you draft me? Why would you date me?” My anger fumed out as I clenched my fists underneath the table. It wasn’t making sense and I wanted answers.

“Publicity Shauna Jeno, Something your family will never get. This league in ran on publicity and for us to draft the 1st girl will bring in so much but we know you can’t play in this league.” Mario stated matter-of-factly.

Bobby looked up and me again, with the a look of disappointment in himself, “Same reason, Anaheim and Pittsburgh have communicated and I was forced into this. Trust me I didn’t want to hurt you and every thing…” He was cut off by Sidney laughing, I shot him a fire glance but hushed Bobby when he tried to talk again,

“Bobby I really don’t care anymore, I’m not part of a game sorry.” I responded cooly before turning my attention back towards the 3 others, “So was everything a joke? The prospects thing,.. a joke? The Blackhawks and Sabres.. A joke?” I was fuming and on the border of crying but no way in hell was I about to show those assholes my vulnerable side.

“We cannot speak for them but this draft was. The prospects week was not so hypothetically if any team really wants they can have you later today after we void your draft selection.” Dan answered, Mario stepped in right after to add more salt to the wound. “You simply cannot play in this league, you are a girl and all Boston College used you for was publicity as we said. You are a media magnet, that’s it.”

I couldn’t take it anymore, my dream was crushed, my everything was gone. I left that table without saying another word, no looks in their eyes, no throwing a fit, no nothing. I was dead inside, my life to me was over. I began to doubt everyone and who I could actually trust, Pat? Jon? No, as soon as I got home I’d erase everything hockey from my life.

Danielle and Jr were waiting for me in the car outside, the could sense I was pissed so they didn’t ask me anything the whole ride back. I entered our room and found our early plane tickets, Jeno-Shauna 6pm LAX to Buff INT. ‘Perfect’ I thought as everyone piled in, I turned to look but they could see hurt in my eyes. Dom sensed it the quickest, ran over to me and hugged me.

“Sweetie what happened?” My dad asked as he sat down on the bed and pulled me onto his lap like when I was younger.

“I’m done with hockey, done, as in I‘m hanging up my skates…that’s all you gotta know. I’m flying home tonight regardless.” I said loud enough so everyone could hear me. My mom and dad exchanged a glance while Jr, Danielle and Dom nodded .

“No need to explain… We’ll start packing now.”

My parents left into the conjoining room, Danielle and Jr went to their own suite and Dom and I began packing. We were all done by 5 and checking out in the lobby, I called the taxi while Dom grabbed us bunches of food out of vending machines. By 540pm we were at LAX boarding the plane heading back to Buffalo.

The minute I got home I ran up to my room and locked the door. I took out my Penguins jersey and threw it in my garbage. I deleted every hockey number off my phone and threw out any pictures of me playing I had set up, including my Shattuck ones. It was time to forget and move on, Ice hockey was just not made for girls.