Les Oiseaux de Mauvaise Augure

There's smoke above the buildings. Creeping slowly down the walls, across the floors, up my legs, into my thoughts.

Is it fire?

A hazy sort of daydream that never meant much, until now. It clouds my mind, filling it with disillusioned scenes that don't quite fit. They don't quite fit in my mind, and they're not... right. They aren't right or sane or smart. They're wrong. They don't fit.

My mouth tastes like blood and I can't stop it. A strange, tangy taste that doesn't fit.

I feel like I could talk for hours and hours with the blood pooling around my gums, sliding down my throat. It'll start to fall out of my mouth, dripping and dropping and dripping. Disgusting and slow.

There's a sort of nervous sound buzzing in my ears. Nervous and quiet. It won't go away for hours and hours. A grim, toothy, yellow smile that makes your stomach churn. Nervous and quiet.

I cry when the world is beautiful. There are little bugs in my stomach, trying to crawl up my throat and suffocate me. They're moving and squirming as one, teaming up to make me sick and scared.

But, you know, I'm not ignorant. I'm just picky. Not ignorant. A little naive, maybe, sure. But, never ignorant.

Of course, they stole the only thing I ever wanted. The only thing I ever needed. They took it and I can't get it back because they took it and hid it. Never to be seen again. Not by my eyes or anyone else's.

Ha ha ha. It's cute you think you're going home. Ha ha ha.

What if I could fly?

What if I could leave and never come back? Would I? Could I? Yes, I could. I would. I'd leave it all behind. Because winter is coming. Winter and cold is coming. Dark and cold.

The birds have gone. All gone. They flew away because they have wings and friends with them. Not me. I'm grounded and alone. Stuck in a daydream. Beautiful and cold and nervous and quiet and not right and not sane and not smart. Strange. Very strange.

I'm nervous. Very nervous. But, I can't quite remember why. Why not? Why or why not? I can't tell. But, I can feel it in the pit of my stomach, and pooling in the back of my mind. Falling into the place where all my logic comes from. It's taking over any logic I have left. Oh... that can't be good.

That can't be good at all.

I woke up right on time, soberly shutting off my alarm, rubbing the sleep from my eyes, and setting foot onto the cold wood floor. I got ready for work, and headed out. Everything was going fine, and that made me a teeny bit anxious. My weird dreams really set the mood for the day. It's amazing the effect that a dream can have on someone.

When I arrived at the radio station, the empty patch of asphalt beside the building was abandoned, save for my car and an new-looking black Jetta. I put on an nervous smile once I parked my car, grabbed my bag and trudged over to the door. The sun was just starting to come up and that gave me a little bit of much-needed energy. The air was crisp and cool, and there was a faint scent of dead leaves, though there weren't that many trees around.

The door was a brick red color with peeling-off paint and a rusting brass doorknob. I hesitated before grabbing it and pushing forward. It creaked and I felt my eye twitch.

Seriously?

"Hello?" I called softly. The room was lit up by a couple lamps strewn about the room. There was a sound booth straight in front of me and a couple couches to my left. "Mister, uh, Cross?" I kept the door open, but stepped forward more into the room. "Erm, hello?"

I leafed through the newspaper, and my eyes landed on the wanted adds. I sighed and looked over to my dad laying lifeless in bed. The constant beeping noise had become a comforting sort of white noise in the background.

"I have to get a job, don't I?" I asked rhetorically. I glanced quickly, not really wanting to put much effort into it, and one add caught my eye.

'Radio DJ needed! Mon-Fri. 6 am- 12 pm. Energetic and fun-loving personality, and broad range of taste in music needed. Experience will be considered. $40/day.'

I bit my lip. In college, I had actually tossed around the idea of becoming a DJ. I had gotten my degree in Communications, but had trouble finding work.

"What do you think, Dad?" I took in a deep breath, folding up the newspaper and heading downstairs and outside. I found a payphone and dialed the number given.

"Hello?" I licked my lips, putting on a fake smile in an attempt to brighten my voice. Energetic and fun-loving.

"Hello, is this... Mr. Joseph Cross?"

"How can I help you?" His voice sounded young and lively. Why didn't he take the fucking job?

"My name is Anna Tracey. I'm calling about your wanted add in the paper."

"Oh, great! So, Monday through Friday. From 6 to 12. Fourty dollars a day. Do you have any experience?"

"Well, I have my degree in Communications, and I used to have a friend who ran a radio station," I smiled brighter. Lie. "I've always wanted to give it a try." He laughed.

"Okay, well, if you'd like, I can interview you for a short while on Monday, and if I like what I hear, you can start that day," he said.

"Gee, that'd be great! Thank you!"

"Terrific, Anna, was it?"

"Yes, Anna Tracey."

He had given me the address and told me he would meet me there for the interview. My stomach flipped around as my nerves started to kick in.

Where the hell was he?

I noticed a door towards the back of the room. I clutched my purse tighter, trying to keep my hands from shaking. I walked quickly and knocked on the door.

"Mr. Cross. It's Anna. Are you in there?" There was no answer. The artificial light was starting to feel too dim. It felt too dark. My heart started to pound. "Mr. Cross?" I cleared my throat, and with a burst of courage, I yanked open the door. I screamed in surprise as a figure emerged just as I opened the door. I jumped back, holding a hand to my throat.

"Oh, God, I'm so sorry! I didn't hear you! You okay?" I put a hand over my eyes, taking in two big breaths.

"Wow," I said lightly. I put my hand down, looking up at him. I blushed. He was so handsome. I swallowed nervously. "Mister... Mister Cross?" He laughed.

"Call me Joey. You're Anna then, right?" I nodded and he held out his hand. I grasped it, still fighting my blush. He had short, light brown hair and light green eyes. I had just... never seen someone so handsome before. His eyes seemed to glow with positive energy.

I started to feel... better.