What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

I slipped on a pair of old jeans and a long tank top. I looked at myself at the mirror, my towel in hand and on my hair. I shook my hair dry and stared at myself.

I loved being around guys, that pretty much gave me the excuse not to look beautiful. I could be sloppy, I could be crazy, and I could do everything a normal girl's afraid to do because of the fear of not being accepted. I had 4 crazy guys who loved me for who I was. Of course, they didn't have a choice because the entire reason I was who and what I was was because of them. Well, mostly Stephen and John.

I met Stephen in Spanish class back in middle school. He and I just sort'a clicked, you know what I mean? He made me sort'a feel.. Not lonely. I was that sort of kid that had no friends back then. I mean, well, I wasn't a loser, I wasn't one of those loner kids, but I wasn't one of those popular kids either. I was just in the middle, I guess. A good amount of people knew who I was and I knew a good amount of people too.

But I was quiet and was quite frantic about anything and everything. Then Stephen got under my skin and changed me. I became loud and calm and became a better person in general. He actually gave me the nickname Jess. I'd go around as Jessica but since I met Stephen, Jess was my name.

John and I met.. Well, pretty much the lunch period after I met Stephen. He invited me to have lunch with his brother and his friends. John was funny. There was so much I can say about him that I couldn't say anything about him at all. He was just this weird funny guy everyone liked. He was back in middle school and he still was when we got in a band together.

There was also another guy I met the day Stephen took me to his lunch table. His name was Kennedy. He was the first guy I've ever actually dated. Our relationship was just on and off and on and off, and things just got more complicated when we started a band, Last Call For Camden. The band thing didn't work out, and neither did our relationship. When our band broke up, so did we. And everything got awkward between us and we just never spoke to each other ever again.

It wasn't bad, breaking up with Kennedy. I just cried for weeks and I never learned to trust a guy with my heart again. No big deal.

But something great did come out of me and Kennedy breaking up. I found my best friend. I realized he was there all along. That night Kennedy told me that things weren't working out anymore and he told me he wanted to break up for good, Stephen had his arms around me, and his shirt was getting soaked in my tears and he just told me everything was gonna be okay.

He just sat there with me all night letting me tell him about all the times Kennedy and I spent with each other and how I wish he didn't give up so easily. He just let me cry and cry. For weeks, it went on like that.

Till one night, he took his arms off me and made me look at him in the eye. His eyes pierced into my soul and you know what he did? He slapped me. He said, "Jess, snap the fuck out of it. I'm sorry. But I can't keep watching you hurt yourself like this. Kennedy's not worth it."

Kennedy's not worth it.

It took a lot for me to accept what Stephen had just told me. And I couldn't have cared any less about him slapping me, but he was right. He was fucking right. I sucked it up and stopped crying. He just smiled at me when I said "You know what, Stephen? You're right. Kennedy's not worth it." And everything was better just like that.

It was one of the things that made our friendship grow stronger. I didn't know that tearing someone down can make her stronger, and that was exactly what Kennedy did to me. And it was Stephen who made me realize that. After everything, Stephen was the only one there for me.

He was always there for me. He promised me he'd never leave me. He promised me that when the world turns my back to me, I'd have him to turn to.

I heard the doorbell ring which snapped me completely away from my thoughts. I walked out of my bathroom into my bedroom and tossed the wet towel onto my bed. I jogged downstairs and grabbed my bag where my phone and other usual stuff was. Then I opened the door.

"Come on." Brian paced towards his car quickly, not even bothering to greet me a good evening. Not that I was expecting one from him anyway.

"Sure," I followed him. I walked to the opposite side of the driver's seat and opened the car door for the main cargo since Josh had already called shotgun.

"Hey, Jess!" Stephen and John said in unison.

"Hey, guys." I smiled at them and got in next to Stephen.

He offered to close the door for me. He reached over to the door while he put his arm around me and let me watch him pull door shut. "Hey," He kept his arm around me while the car started moving. "You smell good."

"Thanks?" I laughed, pushing his arm off.

"You're not still nervous, are you?" He let his arm fall back onto his body.

I cleared my throat. "Yes."

"Aww, Jess,"

"But I can say no if that's what you wanna hear." I coldly said.

"What?"

"It's obviously what you wanted to hear, right, Stephen?" I said in a louder voice.

"Jess, that's not what I--"

"No, Stephen, I'm fucking nerv--"

"Would you two lovebirds cut it out? I want us to be happy when we meet the guys of The Maine." Brian looked back at us, ignorant of the fact that he should have been keeping his eyes on the road.

Stephen rolled his eyes.

"Stephen, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you." I took his hand.

His frown turned into a half-heartened smile. "I'm sorry too, I didn't mean it like that."

I let out a sigh of relief, knowing how close Stephen and I were to fighting.

I never liked it when Stephen and I fought. Well, we only fought once: back in middle school trying to decide whether or not we were gonna do a potato battery or a baking soda volcano for the science fair. I just knew Stephen and me getting into a fight with each other would've hurt so much, so I tried my best not to do anything stupid. Just then, I let my feelings almost get us fighting. I realized how fucking stupid I could get so I told myself to be careful.

Brian stopped the car at a pizza joint. "Okay guys, get out of the van." He said, getting off the driver's seat himself.

I pulled the van door open and walked out.

"The guys are already here," Brian put his car keys in his pocket.

I took a deep breath feeling Stephen wrap his hand around mine.

This was it. After 3 years, I was finally going to see him again. I didn't know how to feel. I felt like throwing up if that counted. I was still nervous. And everything felt so wrong.

Stephen let the other guys go and had us left behind. He squeezed my hand, making me look at him. "Jess, it's gonna be okay."

And I believed him.

We followed the other guys into the joint.

"Jess, smile." Stephen looked at me then back to the table we were approaching.

I forced on a smile as Stephen told me.

"Hey guys," Brian put on a grin. "John O',"

"Sup," John O' shook his hand rather formally.

"Hey." A bunch of them answered.

"Well, I say we skip the introductions since we all know each other." John O' laughed.

I decided to call John O' Jawn because that's how I heard his name, different from John's.

"I think that's a great idea." Stephen said, letting go of my hand.

"Hey, Jess."

I held my breath, my eyes darting onto who said my name. I felt my heart pounding as he smiled at me.

I forced on another smile. "Hey, Kennedy."