What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

I woke up with Stephen holding me in my bunk, and he was sound asleep.

I fell asleep after we had lunch, and my head was throbbing from oversleeping.

I shuffled around for my phone to check the time. 11:52 pm

"Stephen, are you awake?" I asked, even though I knew he wasn't gonna answer.

Getting no response, I laughed to myself.

"Right." I rolled my eyes.

"Shut. Up." Garrett's voice came on.

"Will you just listen to me?" Tim's came after.

"No, we already talked about this, Tim. Shut up."

I peeked out my bunk to see Garrett angrily trying to figure out what to do as he was just standing there. And I was just quietly thanking reality for Stephen being a heavy sleeper.

"Man, please, just listen to me."

"No. Okay? Shut up." Garrett said, not even caring if his voice was getting too loud and might wake people up.

"Please." Tim held onto his forearm before he could even get in his bunk.

"No, Tim! Will you stop it?! Stop! I'm not doing anything wrong! We're not doing anything wrong! Stop it!"

"Look--"

"No Tim! Shut up! How many times do I have to tell you to shut up before you do?! Pat and I aren't doing any fucking thing wrong, what do you want?!"

"I'm just--"

"You're afraid I'm gonna hurt Pat?! Come on, Tim! Are you forgetting I'm the one who's been there for him since we were fucking eleven?! Are you forgetting that I'm the one who came to his rescue when you and your mom fought?! Are you forgetting that I'm the one he ran to when he had problems with you?! Yeah, I think you are! And you're afraid I'm the one who's gonna hurt him here?! Come on, Tim!"

"I'm just worried--"

"Worried that we'll what? End up like Jess and Stephen?! Look, Tim, we're not gonna go fucking gay for each other, we're just best fucking friends, and just so much more than that, but we're not gonna go gay if that's what you're fucking worrying about!"

"Gar--"

"You're just fucking jealous that you haven't found someone who's never gonna leave you like I'm never gonna fucking leave Pat. Shut up, Tim! Just stop!"

"Garrett--"

"We just.. Ugh, no words are coming up to me to even tell you how much I care about Pat, how much I love him. Fuck, I don't need to fucking explain, why do I have to explain to you anyway?!"

The bunk curtain above mine opened and a sleepy Pat poked his head out. "What's going on?"

Garrett immediately dropped his anger and walked over to Pat. "Nothing, baby. Go back to sleep."

"No, seriously. Are you and Tim.." Pat shook his hair out of his face. "Fighting?"

"No." Garrett simply replied. "Go back to sleep, we're sorry we woke you up."

"You're not supposed to be lying to him if you don't wanna hurt him, Garrett." Tim scolded quietly.

"Oh, we were fighting? I was just telling you to fuck off." Garrett rolled his eyes as he looked to Tim again.

"Really? Because you could actually tell me to fuck off without yelling at me--"

"Oh yeah? Fine." Garrett lowered his voice. "Fuck off, Tim."

"I was thinking you'd have a little more respect for me since I'm your best friend's brother--"

"I was thinking you'd have a little more respect for me since I'm your brother's best friend!" Garrett snapped with mockery.

"You guys are fighting." Pat sadly stated.

"We're not." Garrett insisted. "Go back to sleep, we'll talk this out outside." He glanced at Pat then back at Tim. "Won't we, Tim?"

"Fuck, fine." Tim threw his hands up and exited our bunk area.

Garrett told Pat to go back to sleep one more time then followed Tim out.

Pat jumped off his bunk the moment the door slammed, and I immediately hid myself behind my bunk curtain again, which didn't take much.

"Aw man" Pat grumbled. "Jess, where are you." He muttered as if he didn't really mean that he wanted to have me there.

After a couple of seconds of deciding whether or not I was gonna talk to Pat, it slapped me in the face that he was there for me a bunch of times, so why wouldn't I have been there for him?

I pried myself out of Stephen's arms and rolled out.

But silly me forgot that I wasn't on a bottom bunk anymore and I ended up dropping to the cold bus floor.

Pat frowned at me at first, thinking I may have hurt myself, then he smiled when he realized that I was awake, that he had someone to talk to then.

I tried to ignore the slight pain and smiled at him. "So, what's on your mind, Pat?"