What Makes It Wrong for Us to Fall in Love?

After the weird, but found surprisingly very sweet by me, of Parrett, which I obviously didn't help Pat with, I decided I wanted to go back to sleep even if my head hurt a lot from oversleeping already.

"Stephen, love, go to your bunk now." I mumbled as I crawled into my own.

"Love, I don't wanna." He mumbled half-awake.

"Love, please?" I quietly asked.

"No." He muttered.

"Fine." I jokingly punched his arm and settled.

He wrapped his arms around me. "I love you."

"I love you too." I felt him kiss my neck.

--

"I love waking up next to you, love." Stephen breathed in deeply against my neck. "Good morning."

I opened my eyes and stared at the blank bunk wall while he breathed down my neck.

"Jess, I love you." He mumbled, thinking I was still asleep. "I know it's corny to be doing this, but," He sniffed my hair. "I absolutely just can't get enough of you."

There was a pause.

"You look absolutely beautiful when you're asleep. All the more when you're up and ready to go. Sometimes, I laugh to myself.. Thinking.. What if all of this was just a dream? I don't know. I'm just too lucky to have you."

I smiled to myself.

"I absolutely adore you, Jess.. You mean the world to me."

If I had a mirror, I knew I would've been blushing.

"You're absolutely amazing." He sighed. "Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you. You're Jessica Marie Bowen, for crying out loud. Sometimes, I even thank the God I don't believe in for you. Do you see what you're doing to me, Jess? Do you see what you've got me doing?" He quietly exclaimed. "You've got me talking about my faith, Jess! Tell me I haven't gone crazy for you yet. I dare you to do it."

Then he laughed. "And now I'm talking to you in your sleep. You can't hear me. Who am I kidding?" He stirred around. I guess he had looked at his phone and the time because he said it after he had stopped stirring. "Love, it's six forty three in the morning. And I'm already awake."

I waited to see if he had anything else to say.

"Love, how do you feel when you see me sleeping next to you when you wake up? Do you feel the way I do? Butterflies in my stomach, the inability to think straight.. You're gorgeous. Love, how do you feel when I kiss you? Because.. When you kiss me.. It's like I die and then I get brought back to life again. And I'm getting so cheesy right now. I can't believe I'm saying the things I'm saying right now. If you were awake, love, would you believe it too?"

He sighed again. "Love, I mean everything I'm saying right now. Cheesy and corny as it sounds. I can't believe you're mine. I don't even wish you loved me even half as much as I love you. You know, I can't.. I can't even imagine what life would be like without you. You're my life, Jess. It sounds stupid, and it sounds corny, but it's the truth. I'd die without you. Remember when we didn't talk for six weeks? Yeah? It hurt me a lot. I saw your face every day, I got to be with you all day, but we never talked, nor looked at each other.. And I just wanted to tell you I was sorry, and I needed you, followed by a promise that I'm never gonna let it happen again."

Then he smiled against my skin. "Love, every part of you is perfect. I love every single fiber of your being. I love how you sing along even when you don't know the words, and when you sing our songs more off-key than Brian sometimes. I love how you take my guitar without asking and try to play me a song, and you do that until the strings break. I love how you're ignorant and arrogant sometimes. Remember when we were supposed to go out to watch a movie, and you locked your keys in your car, and we had to wait for John to get back with our car so we could still go out? But when John brought our car back, it was out of gas, so we ended up hanging out at our roof. You looked absolutely beautiful under the moonlight. I didn't think you could've gotten any more beautiful than you already were.. But then you sat there out on the rooftop with me. I don't remember what we talked about, Jess, but I don't care. I loved hanging out on the rooftop with you, so I don't actually give a fuck if you locked yourself out of your car everytime we planned on going out.

"I love the way your hair's always messy like mine, and you never try to fix it. Whatever, really, I like it when your hair's all messy. I love it. I love how you're always loud when you're around Josh, and I love how you're so quiet and serious when you're with me. You're crazy, Jess. You're fucking crazy. What makes us perfect for each other's that I'm crazy too. Only you're crazy on your own. Me? Well.. I'm crazy for you. Yeah, it's so cheesy. I love you, love. You're a huge mistake. This world could do without you, but mine couldn't, because you are my world. You're perfect. You're imperfect. You're perfectly imperfect, my love."

I let my eyes wonder around as he continued.

"Jess, I'm never gonna let you slip away again because of me being a horrible friend. I.. I.. I really, really.. I really love you. I love you."

I was about to say "I love you too." when I remembered that he thought I was asleep, so I managed to keep quiet.

"Love, I trust you with all my heart. I can't stop myself from thinking you want to be with Kennedy and not me. I can't stop myself from thinking that it's Kennedy you wanted to wake up next to in the morning, I can't stop myself from thinking it's him you want now." He quietly rasped. "But you know, love, you tell me you love me everyday.. And that's enough for me not to let you go. I love you, Jess. With all my heart."

I felt a pang of guilt.

He didn't know about me and Jawn quote unquote, 'dating' to protect Kennedy from Charlotte and dredging up his past with her. He didn't know I've kissed two other guys when he and I were together. He was completely clueless.

It was either he was clueless or he was being oblivious.

"This is really stupid, what I'm doing right now. This is crazy.. I'm crazy. I've gone crazy for you, Jessica Marie Bowen. I've officially gone crazy for you."

He kissed my neck again and jumped off my bunk, but didn't leave before tucking me into a blanket.

He leaned in and whispered. "I love you."

Then he closed my curtains.