When Did Your Heart Go Missing?

Frank looked utterly shocked. "He broke up with you...because of me?"

I nodded.

"And what did I do because I don't remember," Frank said, obviously angry at this fact.

I shrugged. I didn't really want to talk. I just wanted to be alone with him. He always made everything better.

Frank sighed and wrapped his arms around me. I gladly let my head fall to his chest.

"He's not worth it, okay?" he said. "Don't cry."

"I'm not crying," I said, wiping away a tear before it sunk into Frank's shirt. "And it's not just Rodney. It's what he said to me. How he treated me."

"What?" Frank said, his hand holding my shoulder tightly. "If he hurt you, I'll-"

"He didn't hurt me."

"You're lying."

Frank knows me too well. I can't lie to him. I smiled in spite of myself knowing that he knew me that well.

"He pushed me against the wall but that's all," I said.

"That's all?" Frank said, defensively. He was obviously angry but wouldn't dare let me go. "I'll go after him if you want me to. I don't care that he's a jock and five feet taller than me. I will murder him. And we could still go for that 'spit on him' plan."

I laughed. Frank kissed my forehead.

"So what did he say to you?" he asked me as I tried to brush off the feeling of giddiness it gave me that Frank kissed me.

"He..." I hesitated. "He called me a whore."

Silence.

"And you don't want me to hurt him because..." Frank offered.

"He's not worth it," I said with a sigh.

"Congratulations!"

I laughed again. Only he could make me laugh when I felt like shit.

"It just hurt me, you know?" I went on, not being able to help the rant starting inside me. "No one ever talked to me like that. I've been in a lot of crappy-ass relationships, but this...this is just wrong. This is emotional murder. I feel like I should just give up."

"What do you mean 'give up'?" Frank asked, sounding concerned.

I'd decided this in the last few seconds. "It's just that none of it is worth it. I'm fourteen and I need to focus on school. I just give up. On guys. And relationships. It's a waste of my time. I'll just die alone."

Frank pulled away from me and I looked at the ground. He held my face with his hands and made me look up at him.

"You are a beautiful person, okay?" Frank said. I felt my cheeks warm up. "You are beautiful inside and out. You'll find someone special. Don't let one stupid guy put you down. You'll find someone that's good enough for you."

I was blushing like mad. It felt like Frank and I were the only living beings on Earth. Like I wanted him to be that person he was talking about.

No. He is my best friend. Only my best friend.

"You flatter me," I told him. He smiled.

"I mean it," Frank said. He hugged me and everything felt better.

"But I meant what I said. Relationships are stupid. And I don't want to deal with it."

"Okay. But they'll be a lot of disappointed bachelors..."

I laughed.

"You have a date with who?" Bob was asking Ray in disbelief. Gerard was behind the wheel. Ray was in the passenger's seat. I was in the back with Mikey and Bob.

"Just some girl," Ray said as if he were the hottest thing since fire. Mikey and I laughed at his cockiness.

"Her name is Sarah and he's been crushing on her since the first day of high school," Gerard said.

"Not true!" Ray said defensively.

"You mean that short girl that I was in detention with that one time?" Mikey said thoughtfully. Ray and Gerard nodded. "Ray, dude! You are way too tall for her!"

I was paying attention but sort of wasn't. I was thinking about how stupid I was for telling Frank to just go and have that stupid dinner with his darling Remi instead of helping me get over my heartache.

"Hey." I looked to my left. Mikey was giving me a sweet little Mikey-like smile.

"Hey," I told him.

"Can I go over to your house so we can do that math homework?"

Yes. Math homework. With eight days of school left.

"Sure," I said with a smile. Although I knew the only reason he wanted to come to my house was to keep me company while I'm at my darkest hours. Mikey is so subtle.

"This is your chance, Mikey!" Gerard said playfully. "She's finally single!"

Mikey and I showed just how immature we are by saying "EEEWWWW!"

Gerard dropped Mikey and I off at my house. And I kept thinking of Frank. And I hated myself for it.

Never crush on your best friend. Never.