The Secrets.

“Toby! Stop.” I giggled loudly, too loudly and exaggeratedly for 2 O’clock in the afternoon.

He didn’t reply, but he smirked and ran his hands all over my body. We were both drunk and I don’t even remember the last time I was sober. Hell I don’t think I sobered up from last night’s drinking session.

Drinking is what I do to cope. It may seem to other people like I don’t care but deep down, I care the most.

I pushed my boyfriend away from me quickly, the smile that previously adorned my face was gone. I shook myself. There was no point in getting carried away with things that have already happened. The past is the past, and I want it to stay that way.

I grabbed the bottle of Vodka from the counter in my small, grotty kitchen and took a big gulp. Sighing in relief I passed the bottle to Toby who drank a small amount.

I live in a one bed-roomed apartment in the worst part of Leeds. It’s pretty horrid to tell the truth but there is nothing I can do about it. I do have a job, it’s not something I’m particularly proud of but I do have to put my good looks to use. I’m a pole dancer in a strip club called ‘Regency’ which sounds pretty posh which I think is the idea, it sounds classy and up-market, but really it’s just a cheap tacky club for men to come and hook-up with a performer. I guess I kind of got my dream, I am performing, just not as an actress.

That is how I met Toby, he came up to me after I was on and a few compliments later and we began dating. We’ve been together for about 6 months and my life could be worse.

Toby is a sweetie. Really he is. I mean OK, he went after me because I’m a pole dancer, and I practically dry-hump a pole on a stage wearing very little other than lingerie. But if he was horrible to me, I’d break up with him. I might act like a bimbo on stage, but in reality I could be smart if I tried. I just left that sort of thing to the others when we were little.

That just who we were; Sian was the clever one who was going to be a doctor, Morgan was the sweet, innocent one who wouldn’t hurt a fly, and then there was me, the actress who didn’t fit in as much, I tried to make games for us all to play in. But Sian held us together and now she was gone.

That night I fell asleep almost straight away. There was something bad going to happen and I just couldn’t figure it out. That was the first night I hadn’t had a drink in a long time.



I woke up the next morning with a headache... No surprises there then.

Toby had gone home so I was all alone in my crap little apartment. I checked the alarm clock on my bedside table that had failed to go off once again.

2:47 pm. 2:47pm Shit.

I picked up my mobile as quick as Edward Cullen on Speed, before dialling the number of my boss, Lisa.

“Hello, this is Lisa Kellier, how may I help?” The very fake-british accent of Lisa came down the phone.

“Lisa, it’s Lawrie. I am soooo sorry I’m not at work.” I whispered, ignoring the throbbing pain bursting in my head.

“Shit, Rie, call me on my private number will ya’! I keep thinking we’re gonna get the health inspectors down ‘ere.” Lisa’s normal voice took over.

“Sorry Lisa.” I said, praying she wouldn’t eat me for not turning up.

“What? Oh yeah, I don’t care, just get your ass down ‘ere as soon as ya’ can please. We’re busy later and you need to think of a new routine.” She said breezily and hung up.

I was slightly shell-shocked for a minute before putting down my phone.

I quickly grabbed my clothes and slung them on, I tried not to dress trashily. But unfortunately on my budget that wasn’t easy. Picking up my purse and clutch bag I ran swiftly out the door.

The club was only about ten minutes away on the bus so I got there fairly quickly.

I burst through the doors to find everyone receiving a lecture of some sort from Lisa.

“Sorry!” I gushed before slipping off my heels and joining the other girls on the stage.

Lisa just shrugged and carried on with some speech about how we were having important guests tonight who had paid a lot of money to see good dancers. I wasn’t really paying that much attention.

“Lawrie, I hope you’ve thought about a new routine on your way over.” Lisa snapped, causing me to break from my daydream of happier days.

“Uhh, sure.” I mumbled, coming to.

“Let’s see it then, show these girls how much better you are than them.” She grinned slightly at me.

I returned the smile before taking my position by the pole.



I grabbed a towel from the rail. One of the perks of working for Lisa was that she knew each and every one of us properly. She knew our problems and helped us as much as she could. Granted, the pay wasn’t much but it helped. But I still hadn’t told her about Sian and Morgan, she thought I was an only child.

She had set up a shower block for us after performances, it was quite nice after getting down and dirty on the stage for us to get refreshed. I’d had a twenty minute set tonight, longer than the others got which shower Lisa’s preference for me. She was like a friend, and I didn’t have many of those.

“See ya’ later Rie,! One of the girls called. I didn’t know her name which was a shame really cos’ she was nice to me. The others could be a bit bitchy.

“Yeaahh, you too...” I called back, trying to be polite.

I headed off through the back exit as it was easier than being hassled by a load of randy old men. I wasn’t looking for a hook-up tonight.

Thankfully the busses still ran this late at night, so I could home at a reasonable time.

I unlocked the door and picked up my mail. One in particular stood out from the rest because of the thickness of it. My blood ran cold as I saw the emblem on the top corner.

It was from the court.

I fumbled with the envelope as I hurried to open it. I was so anxious that I gave myself a paper cut, and blood splashed down onto the letter. I shivered nervously.

I read it as quickly as I could, and gasped out loud, only there was no one to hear me.

They were re-opening Sian’s murder trial.

I did the first thing that came into my head. I picked up my phone and dialled a number that I hadn’t forgotten ever. I just hadn’t rung it in about 6 years. I didn’t even know whether she had the same number, because for all I knew she could have changed it to get away from her only remaining twin sister, because I was an embarrassment to our family. She must hate me so much.

But I had to speak to Morgan again.