You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

I grabbed my suitcase and check if I had all my stuff. Looking around the house one last time, I had mixed feelings. I was sad to leave this place, which I called home, behind, but I know I had to leave, I couldn’t take this any longer.

I had done this before, I’d tried to leave so many times, but always came back. No scratch that, he always stopped me from leaving. Convincing me to come back with his empty promises. But he wasn’t home this time, this time I was gonna stay away for good.

I looked at the ring around my finger, another empty promise, and took it off. I looked at it and dropped it to the floor, a single tear rolling down my cheek. I picked up my suitcase and put in the trunk of my car.

I walked back inside one last time. I took a piece of paper and scrabbled a few word on it, leaving it on the kitchen table where I was sure he would find it.

I started the car and drove away, not looking back once. I wiped the tears away, telling myself this would be the last time I’d cry over him. I deserved better than that, than him. I deserved to be happy, to live my life without all the lies and the drama.

As the familiar town slowly disappeared in my rearview mirror a small smile started to form on my lips. I was free, finally free.

I drove further and further, without a destination and thought about my life. I laughed…. I laughed because I couldn’t believe I had been so stupid, how I could have been in denial for so long. He didn’t love me, he never had. If he really had he wouldn’t have done what he did, over and over again.

How stupid was I to forgive him every time, believe him when he said he would change. I love you. It won’t happen again. I promise I will change. Please forgive me. I choked out a laugh when I thought back at how many times those words had come out of his mouth.

As I left my hometown behind me I took a deep breath. It had felt like someone had been suffocating me for years, but now that I finally had gotten away it felt like I was finally able to breathe again.

The further a got away from the place I’d once called home the easier it was to actually leave everything behind. I could almost feel the strings that had kept me tied to that place snap, one by one.

I turned on the radio and sang along. I kept driving and driving, not knowing where I wanted to go. I didn’t care anyways, it just felt nice to drive, knowing I was going to start a new life somewhere else very soon, without any reminders of my past. I was going to forget about him, about what happened, I was going to forget my old life and everyone that had been a part of it.

I wondered if he had found my note by now. I laughed harder than I’d ever done before when I remembered what it said.

I’m done.