You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

Avery

After we had something to eat we got back on the road again. I’d made a mental note not to stop very often, the sooner we got there, the sooner I could get rid of Alex.

I continued to ignore him and quietly hummed along with the song that came out the speakers. I glanced at Alex who was hanging in his seat, his feet on the dashboard, looking out of the window.

I wondered if he would try to bring up the reason why I left somewhere along the way. Probably not. He never even tried to contact me in all these years, so why would he suddenly start caring. I had to admit it hurt. Alex and I had been together for quite a long time before things went downhill. It hurt that he didn’t even seemed to care enough to want to know why I’d left so suddenly.

Was a phone call really too much to ask for? Or even a letter with a simple ‘Why?’. Had I really been just a notch in his bedpost? Or had he been too busy fucking my best friend to even notice I’d been gone in the beginning?

“Avy? Are you okay?” Alex voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I was a little taken aback by the fact that he’d used the nickname he gave me when we were still in high school. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” “You sure? You crying.” “What? No I’m…” I whipped my cheek and realized he was right. A couple of tears had slipped from my eyes. “I’m fine. Something in my eye.” I muttered.

“Hmm.” Alex was skeptical, but didn’t push it. I turned up the radio and a familiar song came on. I absentmindedly sang alone until I noticed Alex stare. “What?” I snapped. “Nothing.” He paused. “I’m surprised you know my song.” I didn’t respond and it became silent in the car except for ‘Damned if I do ya, damned if I don’t’ pouring from the speakers.

“I like the song.” I said quietly. “And you guys have always been amazing. I heard it on the radio one day and it got stuck in my head.” I admitted. “So you didn’t know it was us?” Alex asked. I shook my head. “I knew.” I paused. “You really think I could ever forget your voice?” I whispered so softly that I wasn’t even sure Alex had heard. “Oh.” He said and with that he ended the conversation.

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“Fuck you Alex!” I screamed. “That’s none of you goddamn business.” “It was just a question.” He chuckled. “I’m just saying you need to get laid because your stress level is through the roof.” “My sex life has nothing to do with that.” I hissed. “The fact that I’m stuck in a car with my ex fiancée however does!” That finally shut him up.

After several minutes he opened his mouth again. “So do you have a boyfriend?” He sounded casual, but I knew he was curious. I decided this was my chance to get back at him. “Yep.” I smiled. “He’s the sweetest, most amazing guy I’ve ever met. His name is Josh, he’s two years older than me. He works at his father’s company. He’s sweet, caring, funny, very handsome.” I smile a little bigger. “He’s a good friend of Ashley’s.”

I looked at Alex who had a look on his face that was a mixture of hurt, guilt, jealousy, sadness, and rage. I decided to take it a little further. “And our first date. Oh my god, best date I’d ever been on.” I knew Alex would take this one personally. I’d always said that our first date was the best date I’d ever been on and that it was just as I imagined my perfect date.

But his face was expressionless at this point, so I continued. “He took me out to dinner at this super expensive restaurant. The food was amazing and he was so sweet. After that he took me out on his boat. I mean can you believe that? A boat.” I giggled and little.

Alex didn’t say anything and just stared at me. “Sounds like a cool guy.” He said flatly. “You deserve someone like that.” “So Alex. How about you? Met anyone special?” I asked sweetly. I expected him to come up with a story even more amazing then mine, but he didn’t. Instead he muttered. “No.” and turned his back to me. I frowned a little. Why on earth was he suddenly acting like that.

I didn’t make Josh up. He did exist and we had been together for several months, but we broke up a few weeks ago. He wanted to take it to the next level and was talking about living together, but I wasn’t ready. We had a big fight and he accused me of not being of Alex yet even though it had been two years at that point. I kept insisting I was, but he didn’t believe me and left.

The date I described had really been our first date. But it definitely wasn’t the best date I’d ever been on. Yeah, Josh was sweet, but I didn’t like things like expensive restaurants or big ass boats. It just wasn’t me.

My mind wondered back to Alex and mine first date. He’d been so nervous, it was extremely cute. He never told me where we were going. He’d picked me up and we’d walked back to his house, which was a only one block from mine.

There he’d set up a picnic, with the help of our friends. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever seen. Alex brought his acoustic guitar and played a song he’d wrote for me. We stayed there all night, just talking, laughing, playing music, looking at the stars. The next morning he dropped me off at my house and kissed me for the first time.

Until this day it was the best date I’d ever been on. It was perfect and exactly like I would imagine how a perfect date would be.

I glanced back at Alex and the look in his eyes almost made me want to tell him Josh and I weren’t longer together. But then I remembered all the hurt and the pain he caused me and I kept my mouth shut. He deserved it.

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We drove a couple of more hours until we reached the next city. I looked at the clock and saw it was almost 7. “Hey Alex. How about we find a hotel. Go out for dinner and then go to sleep. That way we can get up earlier tomorrow.” I suggested. He shrugged. “Yeah sure. Whatever.”
We drove around until I found a decent looking hotel. “Come on.” I said and grabbed my bags. Alex followed.

“Good evening. Are there any room still available for tonight?” I asked politely. The guy behind the front desk typed something in on the computer. “Let me see….. Yes, you’re lucky. We have one room left. Room 153.” And he handed me the key.

Alex and I made our way to the room, bickering if we should dump our bags at the room and go out for dinner, like I wanted, or stay and order room service, which was Alex idea.
“I’ve been locked in a car with you all day. I’m not staying in a room with you too when I can get out for dinner.” I said. “But I’m tired. Can’t we stay in the room?” He whined. I sighed and opened the door.

“Seriously Alex you sound like a five year old ki….” I stopped when I saw the room. There was only one bed. Oh fuck…..