You Know I'm Never Gonna Let You Go

Avery

"Did you ever consider how that would make me feel? Did you ever think that you disappearing would hurt me?" Alex said. I stopped. No I hadn’t, I was to heartbroken to consider how he would feel. "I don't know," I admitted. "Sometimes it didn't seem like you cared for me."

"You couldn't have been more wrong then." He answered. "You can have the bed I'll take the couch." I sighed. I knew he was mad at me, but he was acting like he was the fucking victim. “You take the bed.” I spat. “I’m outta here.” I grabbed my purse and ran out the room. I heard Alex follow me, but I ignored him and printed to the elevator.

I ran out of the hotel and kept walking for a few minutes. I finally turned to look, but Alex was nowhere in sight. Guess he gave up. I wandered around the small town until I came across a bar. Not thinking twice about it I entered, planning on getting so drunk that I wouldn’t remember Alex or any of the things he’d done.

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Three hours and way too many drinks later I was smashed. I could barely stand up. “Another shot.” I slurred to the bartender, but he shook his head. “No way. You’ve had enough.” I frowned. “Asshole!” I spat and stumbled out of the bar.

As soon as the cold night air hit my bare skin I shivered. I was still wearing the shorts and t-shirt I’d put on that morning. I leaned back against the cold, brink wall. My head was spinning and I had trouble staying on my feet. I fumbled with the zipper of my purse, but finally managed to pull out my phone.

I dialed a number I hadn’t called on over 6 months. After a few rings he picked up. “Hello?” “Jackie!” I slurred. “Avery? Is that you? Are you okay?” He sounded confused, but worried. “I’m fineeeeeeee.” I giggled. “Just wanted to talk to you.” “Ave, are you drunk?” I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me. “Noooooo… I might have had a little too much to drink, but I’m not drunk.”

I heard him sigh. “Avery what’s going on. You’re obviously drunk of your ass and we both know that’s not like you. Unless something is going on.” I stopped laughing. “Alex is a jerk.” I mumbled. “Alex.” Jack asked. “Avery, I’m serious. What the fuck is going on.”

I slit down the wall until I was sitting on the ground. “I’m taking Alex to my sister’s wedding. He forgot to buy a plane ticket and I’m driving. So I promised Ashley I’d take him. Biggest mistake of my life.” “And why is that.” “Because,” I whined. “He’s a jerk, a mean jerk. And he’s mad at me, ME! He doesn’t have a right to be mad. I do. I should be mad.”

“He does have a right to be mad Ave. You left him, remember.” Then I remember I never told anyone, except Ashley, what happened that night, including Jack. “Because he cheated.” I yelled. “He cheated on me with my best friend! That why I left.”

Jack didn’t say anything for a while. “He cheated? Why did you never tell anyone Ave. Maybe I’ve you’d told your family why you left they wouldn’t have been so mad.”

I closed my eyes and felt a few tears slip. “It wouldn’t have made a difference Jack. My mom always liked Cindy better. Me leaving Alex was the perfect excuse for her not to talk to me anymore. She always liked Alex, I think it killed her to see him with me instead of her favorite daughter. “

“Ave I…” Jack started, but I cut him off. “It’s fine Jack. I’m sorry I called, but I think I’m drunk.” I told him. He chuckled at my crazy reasoning. “It’s cool Ave. You can call me anytime. But please don’t kill Alex.” He said. “Why not?” I whined. “So I can do it when he comes back. I can’t believe he cheated on you. I know he’s my best friend, but I’m on your side with this.”

“Yep, with my best friend,” I wiped a tear away. “but look at the bright side, now you can stop feeling guilty about that one night….” Once I realized what I said I gasped. “Oh shit, I’m sorry Jack.” He didn’t say anything for a long time and I almost thought he’d hung up on me.

“So that why you did it.” He mumbled. “Jack I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.” I sobbed. “Ave, please, stop crying. It’s fine. I’m not mad, just…. happy things are cleared up now.”
I bit my lip, not knowing what to say. “Really Ave, I’m not mad. But you should go back to the hotel and get some sleep, before something happens to you.” “I will. Love you Jackie.” “Love you too Ave.”

I put my phone back in my purse and somehow managed to get back to the hotel. But instead of going back to the room I went to the bar. I hadn’t planned on continue drinking, but after my phone call with Jack I felt so guilty.

I waved at the bartender. “Just give me a shot of something strong.” I sighed. He didn’t say anything and handed me the shot. I tipped it back, nearly falling of the stool. The bartender looked at me as I struggled to sit up. “What’s your room number sweetheart.” I told her the number and she quickly dialed a number on the phone behind him. “Hello? I’m sorry to bother you sir, but I think I’ve got your girlfriend,d or something, sitting here, drunk of her ass.” I didn’t hear anything else, because I almost passed out and fell.

Suddenly a pair of strong arm was helping me up. I looked up to meet a pair of familiar brown eyes. “Alex!” I slurred and wrapped my arms around his neck. “You’re here.” His face was expressionless as he picked me up. He carried me bridal style to the elevator and back to our room.

Once inside he sat me down on the bed. He wanted to get up, but I kept my arms around him. “No…. stay.” I begged softly. “Please.” He hesitated for a second, but eventually laid down next to me.

“I’m sorry.” I said, staring at the ceiling. “I’m sorry I never told you why I left.” “It’s cool.” Alex answered. “You can’t change the past right. And it doesn’t matter now, does it. I mean you moved on.” He sounded angry.

I giggled. “No I didn’t. Josh broke up with me, wanna know why? Because I wasn’t over you.” I sat up to look at him. “I still love you Alex.” I whispered. He stared at me, his eyes burning into mine.

Suddenly he pulled me down on top of him, our lips only centimeter apart. “I love you too Ave.” He whispered and smashed his lips against mine. I immediately kissed back. I missed him so much, it was killing me. My hand wandered down his chest and fumbled with his belt.

But Alex stopped me. He softly pushed me off of him. “Ave we can’t. You’re drunk, it wouldn’t be right.” I pouted, but he wasn’t giving in. “Come on, go to sleep.” I sighed, but di what he said. “Stay, please.” He nodded and pulled me closer to his chest. I snuggled into him and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

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The next morning I woke up with the worst headache ever. I sat up too quickly, making my head spin. I moaned softly and grabbed my head. “Here” Someone said. I looked up to see Alex standing next to the bed, already dressed, with a bottle of water and some aspirin in his hand. “Thanks.” I groaned.

I took the pills and drank most of the water. “What the hell happened last night?” Alex chuckled. “A lot. What’s the last thing you remember?” “Uhm, let me see… I remember storming out of the room. Going to a bar. Getting smashed. I vaguely remember something about the hotel bar, but after that it’s blank.”

Alex face fell for a second, but he composed himself. “Yeah, you ended up in the hotel bar, the bartender called the room and I came to pick you up. I carried you back to the room and put you in bed.”

I nodded, a little embarrassed Alex had see me so drunk. “Uhm…. Thanks for that.” I stuttered. “I’m gonna shower real quick and get dressed so we can go. We can get breakfast on the way, if that’s okay.” “Sure.” Alex mumbled. His voice was casual, but there was a hint of something else in it. I couldn’t put my finger on it, so I decided to ignore it.

Twenty minutes later I was done and ready to go. I grabbed the keys and tossed them to Alex. “You’re driving.” I said and headed to the car.