The Day The World Stood Still
The Beginning.
Is it strange to say that a bus ruined my life?
That, let me tell you, is not a cliché. Not just a, ‘oh, I had to ride the but and it ruined my life’ type of overreaction, though I wish direly that it was. No. A school bus. Ruined. My life. But how?
It took away the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.
His name was Johnny Taylor, and he was my best friend. From my very first memory (and even before, as my mother would be quick to prove with her numerous pictures) he had been in my life. We had never had a fight. He was absolutely amazing, and the sweetest person that I had ever met in my life. Johnny was the kind of person who would bend over backwards, who would drop everything he was doing, just to make you smile.
And because of me, that beautiful boy is dead.
________________________________________________________________________
“Tara!”
The shrill, higher-than-normal voice of my best friend rang out behind me, and a huge grin plastered across my face. I turned, just in time to meet bright blue eyes before the whole world disappeared, replaced by a chest, as I was wrapped into muscled arms. I pulled back. “Hey, Johnny, how are you?”
He smirked. “Oh, you know, ready for this day to start so that it can be over with.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me along towards the school. I watched his gaze travel to meet the dark eyes of my boyfriend – glaring at our interlocked hands – and he let go of my hand, suddenly, with a sarcastic, “Oh, better not do this or douche bag might try to come kick my ass and I would have to embarrass him.”
I laughed and smacked him playfully on the chest. “Johnny! You be sweet. Alex isn’t that bad... most of the time. Besides, you had your chance... not my fault that you blew it, love.” Smiling at the shocked look on his face, I patted his shoulder. “I’m gonna go make my grumpy lover feel better. I'll see you later, Johnny.” We parted ways – Johnny did not like Alex, and the feeling was mutual – and I approached my boyfriend. He was visibly seething, but I ignored it. “Aye babe,” I said, smiling and grabbing towards his hand.
He pulled back like my touch would sting him and shot me a look to kill. “Do you have to hold hands with him? You know how much it bothers me.”
“Whoa, Alex, cool it. What the hell is up with you today? You know we’re just friends.
His dark eyes looked me up and down, his gaze cold. I tried to grab his hand again, concerned, and he snatched it away. My face fell, and he snarled, “Oh, don’t look at me like that. Whatever, I don’t have time for this.” And he walked away without another word.
“Okay,” I whispered to the concrete where he had stood. “Bye, I guess...”
***
All through the school day, Alex was ridiculously mean to me. He ignored me in the hallway. He avoided me at lunch. I didn’t understand what was going on. What did I do wrong? Never before had he overreacted this bad to my friendship with Johnny, in the six months we had been dating. And then, I found out something that made my heart stop.
‘you wanna talk about how you cheated on me this weekend with brittany?’
I stared at my phone, after I sent that message, rereading it over and over. Confused. In Shock. Not understanding what was happening. He was attacking me for my friendship with Johnny, and he was the one who had sex with another girl. How could that even make sense in his head? I felt a buzz, and the shock of the message I received back almost made me drop my phone.
‘yeah, as soon as you tell me about how you cheated on me with johnny.’
My heart raced. I couldn’t even respond. What could I say? He knew I would never do that to him... Or at least, I thought he did. Who would even tell him that? The bell rang, and I closed my phone. There was no sense arguing about this over texts. Words could not save me now. I walked through the hallway, almost like I was in a trance, trying to find Alex. When I did find him, his cold, dark eyes looked right through me. Never had he looked at me with such a lack of compassion as in that moment. It honestly felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped onto my unguarded stomach. But still, I had to ask, “Can we talk?”
“What do you want?” His harsh tone was almost as cold as his gaze, but I tried to let it go as I followed him out of the school. “It’s not like there’s an excuse for either one of us, even if I was just acting in retaliation to what you started.”
“But that’s just it, Alex. I didn’t do anything. Baby, you know better than that... don’t you?”
“I don’t know anything, anymore, Tara, except for the fact that I’m no match for Johnny. I can’t compete with him anymore. I’ve seen how your eyes light up when you’re around him. They don’t do that for me. And I just can’t pretend that I’m better any longer. You have a nice life, Tara, I'll stay out of it. I promise”
I couldn’t even say anything as he started to leave. My throat closed up. I felt like I was swallowing needles. My body was numb. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. All I could do was watch him walk away.
For five minutes, I stood there on the sidewalk, staring at the busy intersection where Alex had crossed and disappeared. People walked around me; some even bumped into me. I could feel their angry stares, but I couldn’t move. Then, arms wrapped around my waist from behind and a cheek pressed against my head as a familiar voiced entered my brain. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”
I turned into Johnny’s arms, and I just started sobbing. “Johnny, he left me...”
“Ssh... ssh...” His large hands stroked my hair, comforting me. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it. You know he just gets a little crazy sometimes, but you also know that he loves you. What happened?”
“He cheated on me. And he left me because of you.”
“He WHAT?” Johnny pulled back, and looked me dead in the face. I had never seen so much anger in his eyes. “That mother fucker has straight up lost his MIND. You just wait until I fucking get a hold of him.”
Before I could stop him, Johnny was racing across the intersection after Alex’s trail. He never even looked up, until he heard a bus horn blaring. That intersection had always been the most dangerous thing in town. If you didn’t time it right, a car racing too fast around that sharp corner might just catch and steal the very last moments of your life.
Never had I seen so much fear in any one person’s eyes.
It was like time was frozen. I couldn’t move. Johnny couldn’t move. But the bus couldn’t stop. All around, the sound of horrified screams filled the air. Johnny looked at me with absolute terror, with an almost apologetic look in his eye. Like he was apologizing to me for dying. For not being able to fix my hurt. But just at the last moment, the bus came to a screeching halt. Just about an inch of space was the only thing separating the grill and Johnny’s beautiful face. He grinned at me with a thumbs up, and mouthed ‘I love you, baby girl.’ Then, I heard the eighteen wheeler.
And that was the last time that I ever saw Johnny alive.
________________________________________________________________________
So I guess to say that a bus ruined my life isn’t exactly accurate. But does it really matter?
I had never seen so much blood in my life. It almost was too much to even be real. There were so many injuries. So much blood. So, so many serious injuries. But there was only one death. Johnny.
And it was all my fault.
That, let me tell you, is not a cliché. Not just a, ‘oh, I had to ride the but and it ruined my life’ type of overreaction, though I wish direly that it was. No. A school bus. Ruined. My life. But how?
It took away the most beautiful boy I had ever seen.
His name was Johnny Taylor, and he was my best friend. From my very first memory (and even before, as my mother would be quick to prove with her numerous pictures) he had been in my life. We had never had a fight. He was absolutely amazing, and the sweetest person that I had ever met in my life. Johnny was the kind of person who would bend over backwards, who would drop everything he was doing, just to make you smile.
And because of me, that beautiful boy is dead.
________________________________________________________________________
“Tara!”
The shrill, higher-than-normal voice of my best friend rang out behind me, and a huge grin plastered across my face. I turned, just in time to meet bright blue eyes before the whole world disappeared, replaced by a chest, as I was wrapped into muscled arms. I pulled back. “Hey, Johnny, how are you?”
He smirked. “Oh, you know, ready for this day to start so that it can be over with.” He grabbed my hand, pulling me along towards the school. I watched his gaze travel to meet the dark eyes of my boyfriend – glaring at our interlocked hands – and he let go of my hand, suddenly, with a sarcastic, “Oh, better not do this or douche bag might try to come kick my ass and I would have to embarrass him.”
I laughed and smacked him playfully on the chest. “Johnny! You be sweet. Alex isn’t that bad... most of the time. Besides, you had your chance... not my fault that you blew it, love.” Smiling at the shocked look on his face, I patted his shoulder. “I’m gonna go make my grumpy lover feel better. I'll see you later, Johnny.” We parted ways – Johnny did not like Alex, and the feeling was mutual – and I approached my boyfriend. He was visibly seething, but I ignored it. “Aye babe,” I said, smiling and grabbing towards his hand.
He pulled back like my touch would sting him and shot me a look to kill. “Do you have to hold hands with him? You know how much it bothers me.”
“Whoa, Alex, cool it. What the hell is up with you today? You know we’re just friends.
His dark eyes looked me up and down, his gaze cold. I tried to grab his hand again, concerned, and he snatched it away. My face fell, and he snarled, “Oh, don’t look at me like that. Whatever, I don’t have time for this.” And he walked away without another word.
“Okay,” I whispered to the concrete where he had stood. “Bye, I guess...”
***
All through the school day, Alex was ridiculously mean to me. He ignored me in the hallway. He avoided me at lunch. I didn’t understand what was going on. What did I do wrong? Never before had he overreacted this bad to my friendship with Johnny, in the six months we had been dating. And then, I found out something that made my heart stop.
‘you wanna talk about how you cheated on me this weekend with brittany?’
I stared at my phone, after I sent that message, rereading it over and over. Confused. In Shock. Not understanding what was happening. He was attacking me for my friendship with Johnny, and he was the one who had sex with another girl. How could that even make sense in his head? I felt a buzz, and the shock of the message I received back almost made me drop my phone.
‘yeah, as soon as you tell me about how you cheated on me with johnny.’
My heart raced. I couldn’t even respond. What could I say? He knew I would never do that to him... Or at least, I thought he did. Who would even tell him that? The bell rang, and I closed my phone. There was no sense arguing about this over texts. Words could not save me now. I walked through the hallway, almost like I was in a trance, trying to find Alex. When I did find him, his cold, dark eyes looked right through me. Never had he looked at me with such a lack of compassion as in that moment. It honestly felt like a ton of bricks had been dropped onto my unguarded stomach. But still, I had to ask, “Can we talk?”
“What do you want?” His harsh tone was almost as cold as his gaze, but I tried to let it go as I followed him out of the school. “It’s not like there’s an excuse for either one of us, even if I was just acting in retaliation to what you started.”
“But that’s just it, Alex. I didn’t do anything. Baby, you know better than that... don’t you?”
“I don’t know anything, anymore, Tara, except for the fact that I’m no match for Johnny. I can’t compete with him anymore. I’ve seen how your eyes light up when you’re around him. They don’t do that for me. And I just can’t pretend that I’m better any longer. You have a nice life, Tara, I'll stay out of it. I promise”
I couldn’t even say anything as he started to leave. My throat closed up. I felt like I was swallowing needles. My body was numb. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. All I could do was watch him walk away.
For five minutes, I stood there on the sidewalk, staring at the busy intersection where Alex had crossed and disappeared. People walked around me; some even bumped into me. I could feel their angry stares, but I couldn’t move. Then, arms wrapped around my waist from behind and a cheek pressed against my head as a familiar voiced entered my brain. “Baby girl, what’s wrong?”
I turned into Johnny’s arms, and I just started sobbing. “Johnny, he left me...”
“Ssh... ssh...” His large hands stroked my hair, comforting me. “I’m sure he didn’t mean it. You know he just gets a little crazy sometimes, but you also know that he loves you. What happened?”
“He cheated on me. And he left me because of you.”
“He WHAT?” Johnny pulled back, and looked me dead in the face. I had never seen so much anger in his eyes. “That mother fucker has straight up lost his MIND. You just wait until I fucking get a hold of him.”
Before I could stop him, Johnny was racing across the intersection after Alex’s trail. He never even looked up, until he heard a bus horn blaring. That intersection had always been the most dangerous thing in town. If you didn’t time it right, a car racing too fast around that sharp corner might just catch and steal the very last moments of your life.
Never had I seen so much fear in any one person’s eyes.
It was like time was frozen. I couldn’t move. Johnny couldn’t move. But the bus couldn’t stop. All around, the sound of horrified screams filled the air. Johnny looked at me with absolute terror, with an almost apologetic look in his eye. Like he was apologizing to me for dying. For not being able to fix my hurt. But just at the last moment, the bus came to a screeching halt. Just about an inch of space was the only thing separating the grill and Johnny’s beautiful face. He grinned at me with a thumbs up, and mouthed ‘I love you, baby girl.’ Then, I heard the eighteen wheeler.
And that was the last time that I ever saw Johnny alive.
________________________________________________________________________
So I guess to say that a bus ruined my life isn’t exactly accurate. But does it really matter?
I had never seen so much blood in my life. It almost was too much to even be real. There were so many injuries. So much blood. So, so many serious injuries. But there was only one death. Johnny.
And it was all my fault.