Holiday From Real

I woke up before Tom; I wanted to slip out of the sleeping bag, but his grip on me was too tight to move away from him, so I waited a while. He squeezed me to him as he yawned once he stirred awake, earning a small yelp from me. He grinned and let me go, but watched without any emotion on his face as I slipped out of the sleeping bag. I stretched and yawned before telling him, "We've drawn a crow. I'm going over to my friends."

He nodded, but I could tell he was disappointed, so I waited for him to get out of the sleeping bag before walking away. I hugged him tightly to him and whispered that he could walk over to me whenever he wanted to. He nodded as I walked away; I walked slowly since I didn't have a bra on. Doug immediately bombarded me with questions as I sat down with the group at the Gryffindor table. Doug stared at me and asked, "What's all that, huh?"

I sighed from lack of air and then said, "We argued and made some discoveries—"

"What?" His stare harshened, "Discoveries?"

I glared at him, "Discoveries."

"Like what?"

I snapped, "About the future; we didn't have sex, and even if we did, it'd be none of your concern."

"None of my concern?" Doug shouted at me, "None of my concern?"

"Oh calm down!" I shouted back and leaned forward, "You know if something bad happened I would have told you. I know we're close—"

"Close?" Doug half laughed, half yelled, "Damn right we're close!"

I sighed and then said in a normal voice so that people would stop staring at us, "I don't see what your big issue is here."

Doug rolled his eyes, snorted, and then walked away. I gawked angrily as he walked away, not looking back at me even once. He made a B line for his friends on the Gryffindor Quidditch team and sat with his back to me. The morning sun shined through the large windows in the Great Hall, giving him almost a halo. His broad, tired shoulders were highlighted, his hair glowed, and his skin seemed almost angelic; this moment was ruined by Jane's laughter. I looked at her; she told me in between laughs, "Doug looks angelic, and look over there!" She pointed over to Tom and his 'friends.' They're seated in the dark; well, it's not completely dark, but nowhere near as lighted as this part of the Great Hall.

"What about him?"

Jane chuckled and then said, "Tom's in the dark, Doug's in the light. Ironic?"

I sighed and rolled my eyes, "Are you suggesting that I follow some sort of symbolism?"

Jane laughed and shrugged.

I sighed again and put my face in my hands. I mumbled through my hands, "This isn't some sort of fan fiction, Jane. This is real. This is our life now. We have no idea how to get home or what we're supposed to do here, and yet we're fighting amongst ourselves. That is the worst thing we could."

Jane remained silent.

I looked up at her; Bueno awkwardly looked away while Jane stared down at her breakfast plate. I stared at Lauren, forcing her to look at me. "What?" She squeaked and semi-blushed.

"What was all that?" I asked and leaned towards her, "What's Doug's problem?"

She shrugged, "I, I don't know."

I stared at her with a blank, but obviously irritated facial expression.

She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

I sighed, rolled my eyes, and stood up. "Why do we call each other friends if we're not telling each other everything? Why are we here together if we're just going to keep secrets and fight?"

No one answered me.

I walked away from them, but I didn't get ten feet before Doug shouted at me, "Aye! Aye!"

I drew in a deep breath and then looked over my shoulder at him.

He gulped and pursed his lips together, "Come here."

I sneered at him and started to walk away again, but then I heard,

"Please."

I stopped in my tracks, drew in another deep breath, and started to walk over towards him. I walked up to his right side and stared down at him, but he didn't look up at me, so I asked him, "What do you want?"

He snorted again and then looked up at me, "I was going to apologize, but you should pretty bitter."

One of the chasers laughed and said, "Slytherin's will do that to you."

I shot a glare at him, "Your opinion is not needed here."

Doug stood up, "Don't tell him what to do."

A look of disdain contorted my face, "Don't tell me what to do."

"I do as I please."

"Oh I'm sure you do." I snapped back and turned away, but he grabbed my elbow and turned me back towards him. "Let go of me!" I barked and yanked my arm out of his hand.

Doug glared at me, "Who do you think you are all of a sudden?"

"What—?"

"Don't act stupid!" He shouted at me and then added, "You come over here all bitter—"

"You're one to talk!" I screamed and ignored all the curious eyes focused on us, "I come over here to start up my morning and you bagger me about Tom!"

People started to get nervous, a sick type of excitement for our inevitable fight.

Doug rolled his eyes and angrily blew air out of his mouth. "Bagger? I ask you one question—!"

"It was so accusatory!" I shouted, "You know damn well what I meant by 'discoveries,' but then you—"

"OH SHUT UP!" Doug shouted.

Bueno shut up and started to sprint towards us. He inserted himself in between us and tried to act as a peacemaker, but we bickered around and over him.

"SHUT UP?" I screamed, "YOU SHUT UP!"

"COME HERE AND MAKE ME!"

I dove around Bueno and tackled Doug to the ground, but Lauren pulled me off of him and shoved me to the side. I was going to yell at her, but she whipped out her wand. I stared at her in fearful awe, but then she transfigured my shirt into a sports bra. She nodded at me and said, "This fight will not be compromised by uncomfortable boobies."

I laughed, but then caught sight of a boiling Doug and stood back up. A crowd of students quickly gathered around us while Doug and I walked in circles, evaluating each other, looking for weak spots. Mr. Bozzi and Mr. Abar rushed down towards us, but Mr. Abar was more interested in watching than stopping us, and Mr. Abar couldn't get to Doug and me. Doug sneered at me, and I sneered right back; I was caught off guard when he rushed over to me, but I quickly leaped out of the way.

"What the hell was that?" I shouted in a high-pitched, surprised voice.

He laughed at my voice and then said, "We train to box, we train to wrestle. You want a fight? Come get it."

I laughed and quickly bent my head down towards my right shoulder and back up to show my acceptance of his challenge. I jumped up and down as if I was jump roping and waited for his next advance; I didn't have to wait long. Doug was blinded by his rage and dove for me, but I jumped out of the way, turned, and straddled his back. Doug landed on his chest, but quickly jumped back up, almost sending me off of him. "What are you doing?" He barked at me.

I laughed and then said, "We train for kickboxing, we train to survive."

Doug laughed and let himself fall onto his back, squishing me and forcing a painful shot of breath out of my chest. He jumped up, but I scrambled out of the way before he could do anything else. I jumped up and started to jump again, only this time I kept my fists up in the standard positions and jumped from left to right instead of just up and down in the same spot.

Doug rolled his eyes at me.

"I don't want to hurt you, Doug."

Doug laughed at me, "You're fuckin' tiny, Karma. I'm going to be the one to hurt you. I don't want to, but I will."

I rolled my eyes and let him charge at me again, but this time I didn't jump out of the way. Doug thought I was going to, so he swerved to the left; I jumped onto my left leg and extended my right leg, kicking him square in the chest. He stumbled backwards and gasped from the pain. I tugged his shirt collar with my left hand and punched him in the side of the face with my right fist. I jumped several inches back and let him come closer to me. I went to give him a left hook, but he caught my hand and punched me in the stomach. I cried out from the pain of his adrenaline powered, steel hand in my gut. Yes, I have abs, but it still hurts. Doug got one more punch in before he shouted, "You think Tom likes you so much? You think he gives a fuck for you? Here you are, in the midst of a fight, and he's leaving you on your own."

I swung out blindly and caught him in the other side of the face. He rolled off me and onto the floor, so I straddled him. I held him down with my left hand by the throat and punched him continuously in the stomach, "YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU SHUT! YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Doug grinned despite the pain from my furious punches.

I screamed like a banshee and then shouted, "WHAT'S YOUR MOTHER FUCKING PROBLEM? ARE YOU JEALOUS? YOU SHOULD'A SAID SOMETHIN! YOU SHOULD'A!"

Doug somehow rolled us over, but I rolled away. I slammed my body down on top of his back and pinned him as if we were wrestling. I twisted his dominant leg to bring him pain, but not enough to actually bring him any damage. We slid around the floor in awkward ovals, me on his back all the while. "WHAT SHOULD I HAVE SAID?"

"I DON'T KNOW!" I shouted back, "DO YOU HAVE FEELINS, SON? YOU GOT THOSE? YOU SHOULD'A EXPRESSED'EM! I AIN'T NO DAMN MIND READER! YOU KNOW THAT!"

"I DON'T KNOW YOU ANYMORE!" He screamed and rolled over, squishing me again. He punched me in the stomach and then pinned me down like I had him as I tried to scramble away, "YOU CALL YOURSELF A GRYFFINDOR? YOU'VE BEEN TRICKED! STRAIGHT UP TRICKED! HE'S NOT EVEN HERE FOR YOU! YOU GO PLACES LATE AT NIGHT! YOU JUST LET HIM LEAD YOU AROUND? YOU STUPID?"

I threw an elbow out and hit him square in the chest. I elbowed him over and over and pushed us over so that I'd land on him, but my back was still pressed against his chest. "I AM A GRYFFINDOR! AT LEAST I FIGHT FOR A REAL REASON! YOU JUST STORM OFF LIKE A BITCH AND THEN CAUSE SHIT!" I rolled over and straddled him. I held him down and screamed, "YOU LOOK LIKE A BITCH RIGHT NOW! YOU NEED A DOSE OF MAN THE FUCK UP, BOY! YOU LOOK LIKE A STRAIGHT UP BITCH RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU JEALOUS OF MY RELATIONSHIP? YOU SHOULD'A SAID SOMETHIN! YOU KNOW I WOULD'A SAID YES TO YOU FOR THE LAST GOD DAMN TWO YEARS! IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOU'RE A MOTHER FUCKING PANSY!"

I jumped off of him and then stomped down a foot away from his face.

He crawled up and shouted, "YOU WANT SHIT, KARMA? BECAUSE I'LL GIVE YOU—"

"NO!" I shouted and spun around to face him. I bent from the waist and leaned towards him, "I WANT YOU TO BE PERFECLTY HONEST WITH ME! I'M DONE WITH ALL THESE GAMES! WE'RE FRIENDS, WE'RE MORE, WE'RE FRIENDS, WE'RE MORE! WELL NOW WE'RE FRIENDS! MY LIFE HAS CHANGED. ALL OF OURLIVES HAVE CHANGED! YOU HAD CHANCES, DON'T BE A BITCH BECAUSE I MOVED ON BEFORE YOU!"

Doug glared at me and whispered, "Fuck you."

I stood up straight.

"You know you love me."

I sneered at him and whispered, "You know you love me back."

He grinned.

I kept my sneer, "This is bullshit. I make progress and it leads to a romance. You love me still? Let me go. Maybe we'll end up together, maybe not. We gotta try somethin' else since we never had the nerve to try each other."

Doug gulped and watched as the pain of my injuries started to set in. Tom rushed over to me and let me lean on him. His face was painted with concern as he helped me walk over to the nurse. Doug watched as Tom walked us away; I don't know how much of that Tom heard, but I do know that I want to give us a chance.

I love Doug, but Tom is different, and I was sent back here to do something for him. For the world. The world is more important than Doug or me. Or Tom.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I don't know.

I.

Don't.

Know.

I have to save the world, and I need my friends. I'm falling for Tom, he scares me, but this has a real chance. I can't put my life on hold anymore. I gotta live now, I have to. For me. For Tom. For the fate of the wizarding world.