Status: They come when they come.
The Only Thing I Ask Of You
How Could You?!
"How could you?!" I screamed, throwing a pillow at Bob's head. He ducked, easily missing it.
"Frankie, please. Just listen to me," he Pleaded.
"No! You're leaving me Bob. We've been together for so long and you're just now doing this? Why?" My whole body was shaking with rage and sadness.
I Loved Bob with all my heart and I had ever since we met.
"I just can't do this anymore Frankie. I know that people are starting to figure things out and I don't want you to go through shit like that again."
"I don't care! Damnit Bob don't you get it? I don't care I just want to be with you. That's all I've ever wanted."
"Oh, God Frankie. I know. I know, but I can't be the one you're with," he whispered, his head hung low.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. "Frankie, you're married for Christ sake!"
"I know that and I told you I was going to divorce Jamia."
He shook his head rappidly. "No. You're not going to do that for me. You deserve to be with someone who loves you."
"I know. And that's why I want to-" I stopped. No. God please no. "Wait. Bob, what do you mean?"
He turned away.
Just then I heard the door to the tour bus open and laughing.
"Hey guys," Gerard said, walking onto the bus with Mikey and Ray following. "What's going on?"
"Bob?" I whispered.
"Frank? You okay?" Mikey asked. He put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it away.
"Bob. What are you saying?"
He shook his head.
"Robert Bryar! What the fuck are you saying?!" I screamed.
He turned around and screamed back, "I don't love you Frank!"
My eyes went wide and and my hands flew up to cover my mouth.
"Bob....." Gerard trailed off.
Bob squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "This is my last tour. I can't be here anymore. You're all like brothers to me and I love you all, but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." He went into the bunk area and came out with his bag that he had packed earlier. "I'm going to be staying in the studio bus. If you guys wanna hang out, I'll be there." He turned and started to walk towards the door.
"Bob!" I screamed.
He turned around but didn't look at me.
I mustered up all the courage I had and launched myself at him, throwing my legs around his waist and my hands develed into his hair. I gave him a pleading look and smashed my lips against his. He went still.
"Frank, don't," I heard Mikey say.
But I didn't listen. I moved my lips against his harshly, hoping that he would kiss me back.
Finally, I felt him drop his bag and he wrapped one arm around my waist and his other hand went to the back of my head, crushing our lips together even harder and his tongue begged for enternce of my mouth.
I opened up for him and his tongue instantly took control, hitting all the right places and making me moan like a whore for him. I felt him turn us around and my back hit the wall hard, the force of it making me moan even louder. After a while, the heavy kissing turned into soft light pecks and eventually they stopped. I rested my forehead against his and held his face in my hands. "Please Bob. Please don't go I love you so much. I don't wanna be with Jamia, I wanna be with you. Please tell me that you lied. Tell me that you still love me."
He wipped the tears from my cheeks and stroked my face. "I have to go Frankie. Please, if you love me, let me go. Let me go baby. This is something we both have to do. We can't keep doing this. I know deep down, that you are supposed to be with Jamia and I can't be the one to cause you guys to split up. I-I do love you Frankie. With everything that I am. That's why I have to go. Just let me go Frankie."
I nodded. "Okay. We won't be together, just don't leave Bob. I can handle being just friends, you don't have to go."
"No Frankie, I have to. I know that if I stay, I'll just be tempted to be with you and I can't do it. I won't sleep with a married man anymore. I'm so sorry, but I have to go." He leaned in and gave my forehead a light peck. "I love you." He picked up his bag and walked to the door.
I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back. He turned back and hung his head. "Kie."
I choked on a sob. He only used that name for me when we were alone. "Kie, baby let go." He turned towards the guys and nodded. "See you guys later." He turned back
towards me. "Bye Kie."
"B-bye Bobby," I choked out.
He smiled sadly, leaned down and kissed my hand, then walked out the door and out of my life. I felt my knees go weak and I felt that I was about to colapse when a pair of arms wraped around my waist and held me up. I felt the sobs starting to come, but tried to hold them back.
"Let it out Frankie. Don't hold it in," I heard Mikey whisper.
I threw my head back and screamed. Mikey's arms tightened around me as my screams died down and I started sobbing.
I felt more arms go around me, but I paid no attention. "Bob!" I cried. "Bob, please come back! I love you! I need you damn it! Please baby come back! Just come back....." I trailed off. I couldn't stop the screams and sobs even if I wanted to. I wanted Bob. He's the only person that ever made me feel safe. I loved him so much. Why was he doing this?
Eventually, I quieted down and the guys tried to get me to stand, but I couldn't feel my legs. I had been sitting on them for so long that they went numb. So, Ray picked me up bridal style and brought me over to my bunk with Gerard and Mikey following. Gerard pulled back the covers and Ray set me on my bunk, pulling the blankets up to cover me and Mikey handed me a glass of water.
"Th-Thank you guys," I stuttered, still chocking down sobs.
"No problum Frankie. Look, I'm gonna go talk to Bob and see what the hell just happened. I'll give you any information I get. Okay Frankie?" Gerard said.
I nodded. "Thank you, Gee."
"Always." He turned to Mikey and gave him a hug. "I'll be back soon."
Mikey nodded. "Good luck."
"Thanks." Gerard gave him a quick kiss and walked out of the bunk area.
No matter how shitty I was feeling, every time I saw them like that I had to smile. I've been waiting for years for those two to tell each other the truth and it finally happened. So, now, I'm smiling just a little bit.
Mikey turned towards me and noticed my small smile and smiled back. "Do you want us to stay with you Frankie?"
I shook my head. "No. I...I'd just like to alone right now. But thank you guys."
Ray nodded and bent down to give me a small hug. "If you need anything, we'll be outside okay?"
I nodded.
Mikey and Ray started to walk out when Mikey grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze for reasurence. I smiled sadly at him and he walked out, closing the door behind him.
I searched in my bunk for my ipod. At a time like this, I really needed some music. I found it and plunged the earphones into my ears and turned it on. I let out a chocked sob at the song that started playing. It was Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold. It was Bob and mine's song. We had gotten together before he had joined the band so we barely got to see each other. So he would play this song for me before we had to part to let me know that he would always be thinking of me.
I buried my face in my pillow and thought about the first time I had met Bob. He was kind of a hero that day........
"Frankie, please. Just listen to me," he Pleaded.
"No! You're leaving me Bob. We've been together for so long and you're just now doing this? Why?" My whole body was shaking with rage and sadness.
I Loved Bob with all my heart and I had ever since we met.
"I just can't do this anymore Frankie. I know that people are starting to figure things out and I don't want you to go through shit like that again."
"I don't care! Damnit Bob don't you get it? I don't care I just want to be with you. That's all I've ever wanted."
"Oh, God Frankie. I know. I know, but I can't be the one you're with," he whispered, his head hung low.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
He lifted his head and looked me in the eyes. "Frankie, you're married for Christ sake!"
"I know that and I told you I was going to divorce Jamia."
He shook his head rappidly. "No. You're not going to do that for me. You deserve to be with someone who loves you."
"I know. And that's why I want to-" I stopped. No. God please no. "Wait. Bob, what do you mean?"
He turned away.
Just then I heard the door to the tour bus open and laughing.
"Hey guys," Gerard said, walking onto the bus with Mikey and Ray following. "What's going on?"
"Bob?" I whispered.
"Frank? You okay?" Mikey asked. He put a hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it away.
"Bob. What are you saying?"
He shook his head.
"Robert Bryar! What the fuck are you saying?!" I screamed.
He turned around and screamed back, "I don't love you Frank!"
My eyes went wide and and my hands flew up to cover my mouth.
"Bob....." Gerard trailed off.
Bob squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. "This is my last tour. I can't be here anymore. You're all like brothers to me and I love you all, but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." He went into the bunk area and came out with his bag that he had packed earlier. "I'm going to be staying in the studio bus. If you guys wanna hang out, I'll be there." He turned and started to walk towards the door.
"Bob!" I screamed.
He turned around but didn't look at me.
I mustered up all the courage I had and launched myself at him, throwing my legs around his waist and my hands develed into his hair. I gave him a pleading look and smashed my lips against his. He went still.
"Frank, don't," I heard Mikey say.
But I didn't listen. I moved my lips against his harshly, hoping that he would kiss me back.
Finally, I felt him drop his bag and he wrapped one arm around my waist and his other hand went to the back of my head, crushing our lips together even harder and his tongue begged for enternce of my mouth.
I opened up for him and his tongue instantly took control, hitting all the right places and making me moan like a whore for him. I felt him turn us around and my back hit the wall hard, the force of it making me moan even louder. After a while, the heavy kissing turned into soft light pecks and eventually they stopped. I rested my forehead against his and held his face in my hands. "Please Bob. Please don't go I love you so much. I don't wanna be with Jamia, I wanna be with you. Please tell me that you lied. Tell me that you still love me."
He wipped the tears from my cheeks and stroked my face. "I have to go Frankie. Please, if you love me, let me go. Let me go baby. This is something we both have to do. We can't keep doing this. I know deep down, that you are supposed to be with Jamia and I can't be the one to cause you guys to split up. I-I do love you Frankie. With everything that I am. That's why I have to go. Just let me go Frankie."
I nodded. "Okay. We won't be together, just don't leave Bob. I can handle being just friends, you don't have to go."
"No Frankie, I have to. I know that if I stay, I'll just be tempted to be with you and I can't do it. I won't sleep with a married man anymore. I'm so sorry, but I have to go." He leaned in and gave my forehead a light peck. "I love you." He picked up his bag and walked to the door.
I grabbed his hand and tried to pull him back. He turned back and hung his head. "Kie."
I choked on a sob. He only used that name for me when we were alone. "Kie, baby let go." He turned towards the guys and nodded. "See you guys later." He turned back
towards me. "Bye Kie."
"B-bye Bobby," I choked out.
He smiled sadly, leaned down and kissed my hand, then walked out the door and out of my life. I felt my knees go weak and I felt that I was about to colapse when a pair of arms wraped around my waist and held me up. I felt the sobs starting to come, but tried to hold them back.
"Let it out Frankie. Don't hold it in," I heard Mikey whisper.
I threw my head back and screamed. Mikey's arms tightened around me as my screams died down and I started sobbing.
I felt more arms go around me, but I paid no attention. "Bob!" I cried. "Bob, please come back! I love you! I need you damn it! Please baby come back! Just come back....." I trailed off. I couldn't stop the screams and sobs even if I wanted to. I wanted Bob. He's the only person that ever made me feel safe. I loved him so much. Why was he doing this?
Eventually, I quieted down and the guys tried to get me to stand, but I couldn't feel my legs. I had been sitting on them for so long that they went numb. So, Ray picked me up bridal style and brought me over to my bunk with Gerard and Mikey following. Gerard pulled back the covers and Ray set me on my bunk, pulling the blankets up to cover me and Mikey handed me a glass of water.
"Th-Thank you guys," I stuttered, still chocking down sobs.
"No problum Frankie. Look, I'm gonna go talk to Bob and see what the hell just happened. I'll give you any information I get. Okay Frankie?" Gerard said.
I nodded. "Thank you, Gee."
"Always." He turned to Mikey and gave him a hug. "I'll be back soon."
Mikey nodded. "Good luck."
"Thanks." Gerard gave him a quick kiss and walked out of the bunk area.
No matter how shitty I was feeling, every time I saw them like that I had to smile. I've been waiting for years for those two to tell each other the truth and it finally happened. So, now, I'm smiling just a little bit.
Mikey turned towards me and noticed my small smile and smiled back. "Do you want us to stay with you Frankie?"
I shook my head. "No. I...I'd just like to alone right now. But thank you guys."
Ray nodded and bent down to give me a small hug. "If you need anything, we'll be outside okay?"
I nodded.
Mikey and Ray started to walk out when Mikey grabbed my hand and gave it a tight squeeze for reasurence. I smiled sadly at him and he walked out, closing the door behind him.
I searched in my bunk for my ipod. At a time like this, I really needed some music. I found it and plunged the earphones into my ears and turned it on. I let out a chocked sob at the song that started playing. It was Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold. It was Bob and mine's song. We had gotten together before he had joined the band so we barely got to see each other. So he would play this song for me before we had to part to let me know that he would always be thinking of me.
I buried my face in my pillow and thought about the first time I had met Bob. He was kind of a hero that day........