Uncharted Territory

Grace

“What are you doing back in Tempe?” His question hung in the air between the two of us. I honestly didn’t know why I was back. It would have been much easier to go someplace else and get a clean start. Some place where no one knew who I was. I had already tried that once though and it didn’t work out. I guess I needed to come back here and try to fix the mistakes of my past. It looked as if that was going to be harder than I thought though.

“Wow, for the first time Grace Williams has nothing to say.” He spat out.

I finally looked up into his green eyes which were currently filled with anger and said, “So I guess you still hate me?”

He gave a short laugh and said, “I never hated you Grace. I hated what you did to me but I never hated you. I wish I could though.”

“What do you want me to say John?”

“Nothing. I don’t want you to say anything because an apology would obviously be too much for you.”

“I did apologize. Before I left I wrote you a letter and delivered it to your house.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that letter. An apology in a letter, how could I forget? Would you like a medal for that Grace? Although, most people aren’t pansies and they apologize in person. Not in a fucking letter.”

I wanted to yell at John and tell him to stop being so mean and hateful. I couldn’t though because I deserved everything he was saying. John wasn’t one to become angry over silly little things so I knew I must have hurt him badly for him to still be this mad at me after three years.

Thankfully the barista called out my drink order so that saved me from answering. I reached up to grab the drink with my left hand and John immediately noticed my newly bare finger.

“So that’s why you’re back.” John said nodding towards my hand. “Can’t say that I’m surprised.”

I’d finally had enough so I snapped, “Don’t act like you know about me, John, because you don’t.”

A wave of sadness passed through John’s eyes and he said, “You’re right. I don’t. At one time I thought I did but that was just another one of your clever tricks. Goodbye Grace. I hope, for your sake, the rest of Tempe is more welcoming than I am.”

I thought about John’s words and hoped the same thing. I watched him as he walked out the door. This time it was John Cornelius O’Callaghan the fifth leaving instead of me.
________________________________________________________________

“Well did you really expect him to welcome you with open arms?” My sister, Ashley, asked from the other side of the phone. I had called her after I left the coffee shop to rehash the details of my first encounter with John.

“No, I just didn’t think he’d be so mean though. I understand that what I did was awful but still, he had so much hate towards me.” I answered back as I parked my car in a spot outside the grocery store.

“You broke his heart, Grace. I mean that boy would have married you in a heartbeat if you guys weren’t so young.”

“Hasn’t he dated people since I left?” I questioned.

“Not, really. I think he’s had a couple dates here or there but for the most part he’s stayed single. He’s pretty busy with the band though so that could be part of it.” Ashley replied and I heard a male voice call out in the background. I knew this meant Colin, her husband, was home.

I was right because Ashley soon said, “Hey Grace, Colin’s home to take me to my doctor’s appointment so I have to go. I’ll talk to you later though and don’t let John bother you.”

“Ok, thanks Ash. Good luck at the doctor’s appointment. I can’t wait to meet my niece or nephew! Talk to you later.” I said and then hung up my cell phone before throwing it into my purse.

I loved my sister but talking to her depressed me a little. She was happily married to her high school sweetheart, about to have a baby, and just had her life together in general. She could barely drink legally, she had just turned 21, but she already had everything she’s wanted. She works as a nurse at a children’s hospital thanks to all the summer classes she took which allowed her to graduate early, Colin works at his father’s architect firm, and they bought their first house just in time for the baby to arrive. Everyone said it was a bad idea for them to get married right out of high school but they were doing great. It’s supposed to be the oldest child that gets their act together first but that didn’t happen in our family. Ashley had the seemingly perfect life while mine was just full of mistakes. She had the house and the family while I was moving back in with our parents. Basically Ashley knew what she wanted and worked hard until she got it. I knew what I wanted, changed my mind, and realized too late that I had made the wrong decision.

I stepped out of my car and walked towards the entrance of the grocery store. I should have known as soon as I moved back home that my mom would start having me running errands for her. I was okay with it though because I oddly enough liked grocery shopping and living with my parents not only saved me money while I attended ASU again, it also helped me feel less alone which was something I needed right now.

Before entering the store I threw my cup of coffee away. It didn’t taste very good anymore and I’m sure that was thanks to my run-in with John. I grabbed a cart and sighed as I thought about my sister’s words. Although a small part of me was glad that John hadn’t moved on, the bigger part of me knew this was stupid because there was no way he’d ever go out with me again. I had already messed that up. I also knew that coming home would be a lot easier if he had moved on.

I started down an aisle and quickly took a second glance at the boy farther down the aisle. I’m pretty sure I knew who it was but I didn’t know if I wanted to see him. He might treat me just as his best friend had.

I decided it would be best to just try and ignore him.

“Grace Williams, is that you?” He said and I grimaced because my plan to ignore him obviously didn’t work.

“The one and only.” I said as I plastered a smile on my face.

“I didn’t know you were back. It’s really good to see you. It’s been what…three years?”

“A little over. It’s really good to see you too, Kennedy. I actually just got back this morning.”

“So have you seen John yet?”

“I just did, at the coffee shop.”

Kennedy gave a sad smile and said, “I’m guessing that didn’t go well?”

“That would be an understatement.”

“Well Grace I just want you to know that I don’t hate you. I was angry at first when you left but I’m trying not to judge what you did. I think you have enough judgment going on thanks to the rest of Tempe. Anyway, we used to be really good friends in high school and we should try to get back to that since you’re home again.”

“I’d really like that.” I smiled.

“Good.” Kennedy smiled back and then continued, “Well I better go. My sister just moved-in with me this morning and I barely had any food so I figured I better get some.”

“I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“Yeah, it’s kind of complicated.”

“Isn’t everything?” I mumbled.

Kennedy paused for a couple seconds and said, “Yeah, I guess everything is kind of complicated in its own way. Well I gotta go so I guess I’ll see you later. I was serious about us hanging out sometime. Do you still have my number?”

“Yeah, I still have…everyone’s.” I said as I faltered a bit.

“Ok, well I’ll see you later.” Kennedy said and then began walking away. He only got a couple feet though before he turned around and said, “I’m really glad you’re back Grace. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Kenny.”

We gave each other one last smile before going our separate ways. I chuckled to myself as I thought about the irony over the fact that the first day I was back in town I had seen the two Tempe boys who had the biggest impact on my life. The other guy who had an impact on my life wasn’t from Tempe and wasn’t a part of my life any longer.