For You

August 2nd, 2011
7:00 AM
Location: St. Laurentine Hospital, Thunder Bay, Ontario
Marc

Jared followed both ambulances to the hospital, while Eric went in one with Jordan, and I was in the other with Azalia, where a paramedic told me she needed her appendix removed immediately. As soon as Azalia heard that, she flipped a shit, as I told her she was going to be fine and that it wasn’t anything major, even though in reality, it kind of was.

I feel my phone vibrate during the car ride to the hospital after I have Azalia somewhat calm. I quickly glance down at the screen and see Eric was texting me. This was not the right time to try to have a conversation with me, but I opened the message anyway.

To: Marc Cell

At the hospital, they’re rushing Jordan into surgery. Mom and everyone are on there way now.

To: Eric Cell

Okay, we’re almost there, Azalia is blowing a gasket right now.

I run next to the gurney as soon as pull up in front of the entrance of the emergency room and lift it out of the ambulance. It was then she grabbed my hand as we were running. “Marc you’re going to have to wait in the waiting room at one point,” the paramedic tells me.

“Yeah, I know.”
“Marc, where is Jordan?!”
“Jordan’s in surgery Azalia,” I tell her.
“Don’t leave me Marc, I’m not going in there alone!”
“You’ll be fine Azalia, I’ll be in the waiting room when you wake up, okay?”
“Marc, you’re going to have to wait outside now.”
“MARC! DON’T LEAVE ME!”
“Azalia I’ll be waiting when you wake up, okay?”

I watch them rush off with the gurney as I felt someone’s hand rest on my shoulder. I turn my head and see Eric, patting my back. I don’t say anything as he brings his face to look at the ground. “You okay bud?” He asks as I nod. “C’mon, lets go sit down, your brother is having a nervous breakdown.”

I follow Eric into the waiting room where we see Jared sitting in a chair with his head in his hands. Eric and I sit down next to him as I pat his back, with Eric checking his phone. “Is she okay?” Jared asks.

“Her appendix ruptured when he kicked her side, they’re doing surgery on her right now.”
“Will she be okay?”
“She’ll probably be here for a good week, maybe less, but she’ll be fine,” I say as he nods. “Where is Jordan?”
“They rushed him off into surgery.”
“Was he breathing?”
“The paramedic said he lost a lot of blood, that they don’t know if he’ll make it. He had trauma to the head as well that even if the surgery goes well, they may have to put him in a coma, which they said if they do, he has a little chance of surviving still.”
“Mom is going to flip a –“
“There you guys are!”

We look up to see our mother, father, Lindsay, Tanya, Mrs. Marianni, Maria, Joe, and Makayla rush into the waiting room. We all get up and I feel Lindsays arms wrap around me. “Thank God the three of you are okay!” I hear my mom say as her and Lindsay switch. “Where are they?” My mom says to me.

I look at Eric, who is now looking at Jared, who turns his head toward me. The three of us then turn to our mother and Mrs. Marianni, who are holding one another now. If they both knew that their children were in surgery, they’d both start a flood of tears. I look over at Eric, who clears his throat. “Jordan and Azalia are both in surgery,” he finally gets out.

“What?”
“Spencer is dead mom,” I begin. “Before Jordan left, when we were able to get a hold of Azalia, he kicked her in the side so hard, her appendix ruptured. There removing it as we speak.”
“Will she be okay?” Mrs. Marianni asks me.
“She’ll be fine.”
“Wait, where is your brother?” Mom asks.

I’m looking at Eric now, who is shaking his head. I’m looking at Jared, who is sitting on the chair again crying. This whole experience for him was traumatic. His best friend went missing and now our brother might be dead. “Mom,” I finally begin, as I turn to look at her. “Jordan has a lot of trauma to the head. He was also stabbed and shot twice, and also killed Spencer…the paramedic said he lost a lot of blood…he is in surgery now.”

“Marc..”
“Mom, even if the surgery goes well, they may have to put him in a coma,” Eric begins. “If they do, he has a very little chance of waking up…”
“Eric..”
“Mom, Jordan’s dying.”

I watch my mom fall to the floor and cry as Eric sits there holding her. I sigh as hold Lindsay, not knowing what to do. My mom is now screaming as Eric and Tanya try to calm her down. I rub my forehead with my thumb and index finger, as I try to tell myself that it was going to be over soon. “Marc, was she okay?” Lindsay asks me.

“She’s scared, I can tell you that, but believe me, when she saw Jared and I, she was relieved, but other than that, she’s scared.”
“I can only imagine. Does she know Jordan’s in surgery?”
“Yes, and she also knows he’s dying. Other than that, we got here after they rushed him into surgery.”

Lindsay nods as she squeezes my hand as everyone tries to remain calm. Our families pretty much took up the whole waiting room as the next few hours consisted of Jared and Eric making coffee and food runs as I just stared at the wall and the TV, which had the story on almost every news channel. I look at my phone, which read eleven thirty in the morning. I look over at Lindsay, who was holding her coffee cup trying to stay awake. “Are you okay honey?” She asks me.

“I’m fine.”
“It’s okay to admit you’re scared Marc.”
“I am terrified,” I begin. “She’s like my little sister and he’s my own brother. I went nuts when she went missing and I didn’t want him to alone to go get her. When we were pulling up to the emergency room when they told me I had to wait out here, she was screaming for me Lindsay, she didn’t want to be in there alone.”

“Azalia is a tough girl Marc and Jordan is tough skinned, and believe me, you’re brother is going to be okay. I promise you Marc, your brother is going to wake up, put his skates back on, and think of what he went through to make him stronger. Azalia is going to wake up as well, knowing what she went through is going make her a better person. I promise you Marc, they are going to be okay.”

I wrap my arm around her as we see a doctor approach us. We all get up and meet him, as he clears his throat while holding a chart. I squeeze Lindsay’s hand, because I’m not sure who the doctor is or if he did surgery on Marc or Azalia. “Hello,” he begins. “I’m Doctor Alexander, I preformed the surgery on Jordan today.”

“Is my son okay?” My mom begins.
“We had to put Jordan in a coma…”
“No…”
“Mrs. Staal, there is a very little chance your son will make it, and if he does, it’ll be a miracle. Were going to send him into ICU now, in room 289, we’ll come grab you once we have him settled.”
“Thank you,” my father says as he walks away.

We all sit back now after we heard what the doctor just told us. There was a very little chance that my brother was going to survive. I look at Lindsay as I hold back the fact I want to cry. “Well someone is going to have to tell Azalia,” Maria begins. “And it’s not going to be me.”

“Why not?” Joe yells at her.
“I’m not strong enough to do it and neither is mom, because mom is already a wreck as it is.”
“Jared, you’re her best friend, you tell her,” Eric begins as Jared cuts him off.
“I’m with Maria on this one. Azalia maybe my best friend, but these pasts few days have been very awful and I don’t have it in me to tell her. Can you Eric?”
“I want to tell her, believe me, I do, but I’m trying to accept the fact my own brother is dying—“
“HE’S MY BROTHER TOO!”
“Marc, do you want to tell her?”

My mother asks as all eyes become centered on me. Of course it would come down to me telling her. I sigh, as much as I knew I couldn’t tell her, I knew someone had to tell her. “As much as I know it’s going to be hard to tell her that Jordan may not make it, I care about her enough for her to know the truth, so I’ll grow a pair of balls and tell her, there everyone, are you happy?”

“Marc, calm down,” My mother tells me as we see another doctor walk toward us, but that wasn’t going to stop me.
“No, I will not. This was very traumatic for me too these past two days. The girl I consider to be my little sister went missing and my brother, who I didn’t want going alone, went after her alone, and may possibly die. If anyone, I probably should’ve gone with him and be the one in the coma and not him, so for you all who are bitching about who should tell her, I’ll be a fucking man and tell her that Jordan maybe dead.”

“Hi, are you all here for Azalia Marianni?”

The doctor says after my outburst. We all look at the doctor, who has to be in his late thirties. Why they’d send the young one to do surgery on a nineteen year old was out of the question. “I’m Doctor Zimmermen, I preformed the surgery on Azalia today.”

“Is she okay?” her mother asked.
“The surgery went great, she’s in recovery as we speak. She was actually asking for her mother and Marc.”
“You go first Mrs. Marianni, I should probably calm down before I break the news too her.”
“She’s in room 132, I’ll give you a few minutes Marc,” the doctor tells me.
“Sounds good, thank you Doctor.”

I watch the doctor and Mrs. Marianni walk away as I feel both my mother and Lindsays faces pierce my skin. I had no idea what just came over me, but I knew I had just pulled a typical Jordan moment. I hear my mother clear her throat; of course she had to have the first word. “I don’t know what got into you just now Marc, but you need to calm yourself down.”

“I need to calm myself down? None of you are taking an initiative and leaving it on me. You all are acting I didn’t go through any of this but trust me, I was hurting, I was terrified, and I can tell you all I am still hurting and I’m still terrified, but I’m not going to show it obviously. As I previously just said, I should be in the one in the coma, not Jordan.”
“Marc, take a deep breath and go talk to her now,” Lindsay demands at me.

I sigh, get up, and begin walking to the room he told me to go to as I thought of all of the ways this could possibly go wrong. For one thing, I knew Azalia wasn’t going to believe me at first, then she was going to start a screaming and swearing fit, then blame herself, and then cry. I let out a deep breath as I approached the room to see her mother closing the door behind her. “Is she okay?” I ask.

“She wants to talk to you…she asked about Jordan.”
“Oh God, what’d you say?”
“I didn’t know what to say, so I told her I would be right back with you…Marc, she’s going to blow a gasket.”
“Trust me, I know…I’ll take care of it.”
“Thank you Marc, I love you like a son, remember that.”
“I love you too Mrs. Marianni,” I reply, hugging her.

I then open the door lightly to see Azalia was sleeping again. I close the door behind me, sit on the edge of the bed, and stroke her hair, as I watch her eyes open. They were still red from all of the crying she must’ve done, but I could tell she was happy to see me. “Marc…”

“Hey you, how are you feeling?” I ask her as she sighs.
“I feel okay, it just hurts, that’s all.”
“It’s going to for a few days, but you’ll feel better. How long are you in here for?”
“They said hopefully I can leave here by Friday if I’m feeling better.”
“Good, we missed you.”
“I missed you guys too…is Jordan okay?”

I knew wasn’t going to dodge the subject of Jordan while I was in here. I sighed as I grabbed her hand. Parts of me couldn’t do it, but I knew that someone had to tell her, even if it had to be me. “Azalia,” I begin, as a tear falls down the side of my face.

“Marc, why are you crying?”
“Jordan was put in a coma…”
“What? He’ll be okay though, right?”
“He lost a lot of blood and had a lot of trauma to the head…they don’t know if he’ll make it through.”

I wasn’t sure if it was possible but I’m pretty sure I heard the silence fill the room. Azalia is just looking at me now, as the look of pure anger is written all over her face. She then closes her eyes and a tear falls down her cheek. “Marc, you’re lying,” she says to me.

“Azalia, you know I wouldn’t lie to you about anything.”
“No, your fucking lying,” she’s yelling now.
“Azalia, listen to me, I’m not lying, Jordan—“
“JORDAN ISN’T DYING! YOUR FUCKING LYING!!”
“AZALIA! I’M NOT LYING! JORDAN DID WHAT HE DID BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU!” I yell back.
“MARC YOU’RE FUCKING LYING! STOP LYING TO ME!”

She’s crying now as I pull her into my chest as she grabs onto my shirt. It was at that moment I begin to cry to, not because I was sad, but because I was terrified for her well-being and for my brother’s health. “It should’ve been me,” I mumbled through a fit of tears. “I should’ve gone with him to get you and I should be the one in the hospital bed knocked out in a coma…it should’ve been me.”

It was now that I was realizing I was blaming myself for what Jordan went through and what he is currently going through. I was blaming myself for sending him out to bring her home by himself and for landing in a coma. “I’m sorry Marc, I’m sorry for all of this,” she’s crying now as I cry too.

“Me too Azalia…I’m sorry…I so sorry.”