The Frayed Ends Of Sanity

Darren let me go home early. I guess he could see I was upset about something. I tried to hide my emotions, but it obviously didn't work.

When I got home, I went straight to my room. I sat on the bed then pulled a box out from under the bed. I had put all the things that could remind me of Zacky or any of the others in here so I wouldn't be thinking about them all the time. It had worked...sort of.

I started going through all the pictures and other random objects I had tossed in. There was a gun in the bottom and I took it out. I ran my fingers along the cold barrel and was struck with an idea. A very sinister idea. I could kill Kate; make it look like suicide and....No, I couldn't go back to that. It would hurt too many people in the process; including the person I loved.

I sighed and replaced the gun. I slid the box back under my bed. As I did this, I felt tears attack my eyes again. Maybe it was time I left Huntington Beach.

Leaving Huntington wasn't going to be easy. But for some reason, I had a feeling it was time. So many things had happened here, good and bad, and I just felt it was time I left. Maybe for good, maybe not.

A month later....
Today was the day I would be leaving. All the guys and their girlfriends (except for Kate) came to see me off and help me get things in the car. Once we were finished I turned to them.

"Well, I guess I'm out of here."

I walked over to Casey first and gave her a hug. "Will you come back sometime?" she asked through tears.

"If I can, I will." She nodded. I gave Matt, Jimmy, Johnny, and Brian a hug and they all wished me luck and told me if they were ever playing near me to go watch. I told them I would.

Last, I moved to Zacky. I looked into his amazing green eyes and saw nothing but pain. I placed my hand in his and whispered, "I'm going to miss you most."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around me. We hugged and I had to fight the urge to kiss him. I wasn't sure how he'd react to that. So, instead I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

He finally let go and said, "I'll miss you more." I smiled and hugged him one more time before heading to the car.

I opened the door for Cerberus, who had been waiting patiently by the car, and watched him hop in. I slid into the driver’s seat and started the car. I rolled down the windows and waved to my friends one last time before driving away.

As we passed the sign that said, "You are now leaving Huntington Beach," it seemed like every memory from the past six years came back to me. I ended up having to stop at a rest stop because I started to tear up.

"Looks like we get to start a new life again Cerberus," I said when we got back on the road. He looked up at me from the back seat and wagged his tail. I smiled. I was never going to forget anything that had happened in Huntington no matter what I did. This was perfectly fine with me; even if some of them had driven me to the brink of insanity. Some of these memories were depressing, but there were definitely some good memories. Those were the memories that I wanted to take to my grave.