These Butterflies

The next morning, Alex and I arrive at school with only minutes to spare.

“It’s your fault we’re late,” he mumbles.

“I barely had any sleep,” I respond, but that’s a lie. I slept plenty. I slept too much.

“Why not?” I shrug at his question and then he sighs in annoyance. “Why aren’t you talking to me?” he asks.

“What do you mean? I’m talking to you right now.” I turn to look at him just to catching him rolling his eyes.

“Never mind.”

I know I keep telling myself he doesn’t deserve my attention, but I think it’s hurting me more than it’s hurting him. And when he spots Melissa, it only feels worse.

“I’m going to walk Melissa to class. Meet me in the gym after school.”

“Okay.”

He walks away without looking at me. I hate the way she smiles at him as he approaches. I know he’s making her really happy, and it’s not fair. When he reaches her and kisses her, it doesn’t hurt as much as it used to. I’ve seen worse.

They walk off until they’re out of my view and for the first time, I realize how much resentment I have towards Melissa. She has taken him away from me in so many ways. He’s probably holding her right now, joking with her, reminding her how much he missed her after Saturday night and how badly he wants to make love to her again, while he’s getting tired of me and the way I’m acting. I’m glad we don’t share the same lunch time. I would hate to see them all over each other in front of everyone. And I know he would just ignore me to spend time with her anyways. He prefers her over me.

The warning bell rings but I’m still dragging my feet. When I walk past the first building, I see Connor chatting up a small blonde. He doesn’t notice me. I’m not hurt, nor am I surprised. I keep walking and somehow manage to get through the door right before the final bell rings. I doubt Connor made it.

After school I wait in the gym like Alex told me to, but he’s not the first one to approach me.

A slow grin forms on his lips. “Hey beautiful.”

“Hi Connor,” I say. I find myself getting nervous, but I don’t know why. Connor just seems to have that affect on me. I bet he has that same effect on a lot of girls.

“You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I wish we could spend some time together," he says. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I’m busy.”

“What about tomorrow?” His smile hasn’t faded. He doesn’t get it.

“Connor, stop. I’m not going on a date with you.”

When he finally understands, it’s like his confidence drains completely. “…But I really like you.”

I sigh. “You like a lot of girls.”

“You don’t get it. This is different.”

Before I can respond, Alex comes from behind him. “What’s going on?”

Connor spins around. “Nothing. Just saying hey to Milan.”

“I told you to stay away from my sister.” I want to intervene, but I’m not really sure what’s going on. Alex looks upset, and I’m afraid of how he’s going to react if I say anything.

Connor holds up his hands in defeat. “Fine. I’ll back off.”

Alex grabs my hand and helps me out of my seat before walking me out towards the parking lot. “Don’t talk to him again.”

“Why not?”

He stops abruptly and looks at me dead in the eyes. “Just don’t.” He’s serious.

“Fine.” But I’m just giving Alex the satisfaction to calm him down. Connor gave up too quickly when Alex showed up, and I want to know why.