And We're Nothing Short of Invincible

I woke up in my room, not my apartment room, but my room in the house. It was pretty bright outside, so I figured I slept through the night and most of the day. I pinched myself as I remembered the news from yesterday.

“Nope…still happened,” I muttered as I rubbed where I had pinched myself.

I threw off my covers, and went down stairs. I was very surprised to see Zacky and Brian already here.

“Hey,” Brian said quietly, “We got here as fast as we could.”

Brian took one look at me, and pulled me into his arms.

“I’m so sorry Baylee.”

“It’s not your fault. Thank you for coming…both of you. Where is Caleb?”

“Um, he had to leave for work I think. Your mom and dad said that you were sleeping in your old room,” Zacky replied.

I sighed and sat down on the couch next to Zacky, “He went to work? I wish he was here with me.”

“He looked like he didn’t sleep much.”

“I did, but I still feel like absolute shit.”

Both of them looked at me.

“Does Zacky know about what was going on with you two?”

Brian nodded, “Yes, and he wanted to be here for both of us.”

“Yeah, I mean, at least you have people with you who know what you’re going through….” Zacky trailed off.

I gasped, I felt bad because in a few weeks, it’d be the second anniversary of Jimmy’s death, and now they have to deal with Crystal’s death.

“Oh God…I didn’t even think…”

“Don’t worry about it BB, you need to take care of yourself, we will be fine, won’t we Brian?”

“Mhmm.”

“Um, if you guys are hungry, help yourself to whatever.”

Zacky nodded, and got up to go to the kitchen.

“I loved her BB. I was going to leave Michelle next month.”

I choked on my own spit, “What?!”

“Yeah, we had a plan that she was going to come out to California, and I was going to divorce Michelle. I don’t love her anymore…”

“You guys haven’t been married that long at all.”

“I know, but it’s just different.”

“Okay….”

“She told me you guys had a fight.”

“Yeah….and we made up, but not face to face. She was coming here yesterday before she got into the accident. I feel like it’s my fault. She was even texting me something when she got into the accident. What the hell am I supposed to do without her? We were going to do so many things within the next year. Obviously, she had a secret plan, but I’m sure she would have told me when she felt the time was right.”

“Of course. She talked about you all the time, and that if she came out to Cali, you were part of the package. She wasn’t going to leave you behind BB. She loved you like you were her baby sister. Crystal always talked about how much you guys loved photography, and Val even mentioned that you guys would take amazing tour photos, and I’m sure you would have.”

“I loved her, so much. She’s always been there for me. She used to beat people up for me in school because people picked on me. I haven’t always been this outspoken. She was always the first one I’d run to about my boy problems, and then our moms would get together and interrogate us about the boys.”

“I know you’re gonna miss her pretty terribly, but you have plenty of people to help you get through it,” Zacky cut into the conversation as he walked back into the living room.

I weakly smiled, “I know, I have some pretty amazing people in my life.”

Zacky, Brian, and I were squished onto the couch, with me sort of propped up on Zacky and my feet were on Brian’s lap. We were going through home movies. Caleb hasn’t even seen these movies.

“Oh my god…did you guys really do that in a talent show?” Zacky asked, referring to some little skit we did in fifth grade.

“Yes, we did, and we won second place,” I replied, smirking a bit.

“Wow.”

“Yep.”

I didn’t realize it, but I had nodded off to sleep.

I heard yelling when I finally woke up though, and it was Caleb yelling at Zacky.

“Caleb, what the fuck is your problem?” I demanded as I walked into the kitchen.

“Oh, you’re awake baby.”

“Yes, I am, and it’s your fault. Why are you yelling at him?”

“He obviously has a thing for you Baylee. I mean, I see the way he looks at you, and the way he was holding you….”

I raised an eyebrow, “I hardly think this is the time or place for your fucking ridiculous jealous claims. Have you forgotten that I lost my best friend yesterday? I’m pretty sure I’ll be putting her in the ground soon, so until I can feel better about this situation, don’t even come at me with that shit. I’ll be in the garage apartment if anyone needs me.” I stomped out of the house, and I heard Brian say nice going to Caleb.

I want to be alone for awhile. I need to be alone.

I feel so empty and lost without her. I found a photo album on the desk, and realized it was our scrapbook we made together two years ago.

I was flipping through the pages, and I would giggle at some, and cry at others. I got to one page that I hadn’t realized was there until now. There was a huge picture of us together, and underneath the picture was Crystal’s pretty writing.

Baylee, you’re my best friend, my baby sister, although you’re only a year younger. I love you more than anything, and you know I’d do anything for you. Promise me that you will live out your dreams. I know you don’t want to be stuck in this town forever. You’re really good with that camera, and you’re really good at writing. Maybe someday, you can do something with your talent. I believe in you, and I’m so proud that you have grown into the beautiful, strong person you are today. Don’t ever let someone tell you no. Don’t ever settle for second best in life. Fight for what you want..for who you really should be with. You will find that person someday, and you know who it will be. Just remember I love you sis, and I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.

I sniffled, “Kind of hard to be here for me when you’re dead Crystal!”

“Why? Why were you texting me? You knew I hated when you texted and drove. You made me crazy with that, ugh, and now, it’s killed you. You were supposed to die of old age with me, damn it. I hate you right now…..”

There was a knock on the door, and it opened.

“Baby?”

I rolled my eyes, “Go away!”

“Baylee, you don’t need to be alone.”

“Quit telling me what I need. You don’t know what I need. GO AWAY!” I threw a shoe at the door, narrowly missing Caleb’s head. He walked over to me anyway, and pulled me to him.

I started hitting him to get him to let me go. I didn’t want to be touched. I didn’t want to feel anything right now. He held on though, and I finally gave up trying to get away.

“Baylee, I’m sorry about earlier, I’m sorry about everything.”

“Whatever. It doesn’t fucking matter anymore. I don’t fucking care.”

“Yes, you do.”

“No, no I don’t. I hate myself right now. I hate that she’s gone. I just want her back, please? Please God, whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry. Take me instead. She deserves to be alive. I don’t even deserve to breath. Not after how I treated her when we were fighting, and over a stupid guy. I deserve to be dead right now, not her.”

“Baylee, stop it.”

“No, if you don’t want to hear it, go the fuck away. If you’re not going to hear what I have to say, fucking leave. Leave just like she did.”

“Baylee!”

I sniffled, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“I know.”

Caleb cradled me in his arms, and I tried to sleep, but I was awake all night long.