Catch Me When I Fall

I sat on the single bed with my laptop on my lap. We just wrapped the Christmas day with one last dinner before everyone went to do their own thing. Matt was out with Dexter, Charlie, and the Dads while Bridget and Ellie were talking about something with the Moms in the family room. So, I left alone here. Everybody knew that I'm not a really social person. I mean, if a person doesn't talk to me first, then I wouldn't talk to that person. I wasn't used to open up a conversation in the first place.

“What are you trying to say, Kendall? You make me confuse.” I said to the phone with a chuckle as I kept my eyes on the laptop screen. I’ve been talking with Kendall for like a half hour. We just talked about some random stupid things that made both of us laugh.

“Okay, just forget that.” He said and I just rolled my eyes, “Um, Ella, when are you going back to LA?”

“Um, 3 days before New Year’s Eve, I guess. Matt and I are planning to celebrate New Year in LA.” I answered his question.

“Well, I’ve been thinking about this lately. Do you have any plans for New Year?” he asked again, being the nosy person he is.

“So far, no. Why?” I asked him back that made him silence for a while. I heard some whispering on the phone and let out a soft sigh, “Kendall, are you still there? Because if you’re not, I’m going to hang up.”

“No! I’m still here,” he said quickly, making me to chuckle slightly, “Well, I’m planning to take you out for a dinner with me. It will be just two of us but I tell you that it’s not a date. Once again, I swear it’s not a date.” He knew that I didn’t like to have a date with a guy so I told him if he’s going to ask me out for a dinner and say that it’s a date, I’m definitely going to reject it.

“It’s not a date, right? Okay, I’m in.” I said casually with a small smile on my face as I read my Twitter timeline but kept my ears on the phone.

“Cool. I’ll call you again to give you details. Bye, Ella. Take care.” He always added that ‘take care’ word every time he’s about to hang up. I didn’t know why he always said that, but I told myself that he’s just showing a little care to me and trying to be a gentleman.

“Bye, Kendall.” I said those 2 simple words before hanging up. I put my phone on the space beside me and focused on my laptop again. I’ve been checking my Twitter for like 2 hours. I read all my friends’ tweets on my timeline but I didn’t say anything. Once I refreshed my timeline, Kendall tweeted.

HeffronDrive: lookin’ forward to the New Year’s Eve.

He just got off the phone with me and talked about his New Year plan, but now, he already said about it, literally, on Twitter.

TheCarlosPena: uh huh somebody *cough* @HeffronDrive *cough* is so excited for New Year ;p

I laughed at myself as I saw their tweet. They’re way too mature for guys around their age. I shook my head in disbelief and signed out from Twitter.

"Ella." I looked up from my laptop screen as I heard Bridget's voice. She walked in with a smile on her face, shutting the door behind her. She walked towards my bed and sat in front of me. Bridget, Ellie, and I shared a room together. There were 3 single beds, a dresser, a desk, a couch, and a TV set in this room. Well, the room’s big enough for 3 of us.

"Hey," I smiled at her, "What’s up?" I asked her.

"How are you, Ella? We haven't talked a lot lately." She said, opening a conversation with her usual question. Bridget and I used to very close before I moved to LA from NY and we got busy with our job.

"Yeah. I'm pretty good, actually. Well, I have a lot in my mind lately." I shrugged my shoulders and looked down at my laptop, turning it off. She had this 'tell-me-all-about-it' face and I sighed softly, closing my laptop and put it aside, "Well, I don't know either. It's just... sometimes I feel kind of.... lonely." I sighed again and she silenced, telling me to continue.

"All my best friends have somebody. Boyfriend, crush, flings, and somebody like that. They told me a lot how they feel about their feelings towards the guy. How happy they were when they're with him, how excited they were when the guys asked them to go on date, and even how they felt when the guy asked them out. Um, I'm happy, really, because they trust me enough to tell me all about it and because they're happy! Hell, I would do anything to make all my best friends happy! Then I would smile at them and tell them how happy I was for them." I sighed loudly and shook my head.

"And..." Bridget trailed off, telling me to continue, again.

"And sometimes, I feel lonely. Well, maybe I have a smile plastered on my face all the time because I know I'm happy because I get to work and share an apartment with my best friends. But sometimes, that's all not enough for me. I need more. I need someone besides them. I feel like I need someone to hold or talk or laugh with me when my best friends aren’t there. I hate to admit it, but even when my friends are all around, I still feel lonely.” I let out a dramatic sigh, “What the hell is going on with me?”

“As much as you hate to have a guy involved around your world, you still need it, Ella.” She said casually and I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

“What does that mean?” I asked her, getting confused of her words.

“That means, you need to find a guy who would like to be with you whenever you’re sad, happy, and anything, the guy who accepts you for who you really are.” She said simply and shrugged her shoulder.

“A guy best friend?” I asked again.

“Yep, a guy best friend or a boyfriend.” She said with a smile on her face. I studied her face and could tell that she’s not kidding about this. On the other hand, she kind of wanted me to have a guy best friend or a boyfriend. My family had never seen me close with a guy before ‘cause I never really have a boyfriend in my life before. I mean, yes, I dated some guys back in high school but it stopped until something’s happened to me and I decided to just stop it.

“So, I’ve been wondering about this since the first day I got here,” she let out a soft sigh, “so, do you now have a boyfriend?” she asked, sounding kind of unsure in the end.

“No. Why?” I asked curiously at her.

“Well, um, so I have a really good friend, named Kevin, and we are pretty close right now. He’s my friend back in high school and we met again a few weeks ago. So, I’ve been texting and talking with him a lot and he said that he has a younger brother around your age,” she silenced for a while. I got a bad feeling about this. I felt like she’s trying to set me up with one of her friend’s brother or something like that.

“Kevin said that his brother is single and doesn’t have any girlfriend for like 3 months. When I met again with Kevin a few days ago, I told him about you. And we agreed to make a blind date for you and his brother.” She said with a wide smile on her face. My eyes widened and my jaws dropped as she said that. Was she kidding me?! I’m so not going to have a blind date with anybody!

I laughed out aloud at her words until my stomach hurt, making Bridget to look at me like I was a lunatic, “Sorry,” I said when I already calmed myself, “Really, Bridget? A blind date? You gotta be kidding me, girl.” I shook my head in disbelief.

“I’m serious, Ella. Why don’t you try a blind date? Besides, Kevin and I would give you some clue about the guy so you can figure what the guy would be like inside your head.” She said seriously at me.

“No way, Bridget. That’s a big NO.” I shook my head eagerly. I mean, really? A blind date? She gotta be kidding me, “I’m not going to a blind date, Bridget. Not in a million years.” I said and shook my head again.

“Oh, come on! I have seen this guy a few times before and trust me, he’s SO good looking. I’m sure you’re going to like him.” She reassured me with a small on her face. If Bridget said that a guy was good looking, that means the guy was really good looking. She has a good taste on guy. Well, I really could just accept her offer but a few scenes of MTV’s Disaster Date crossed my mind. I scrunched up my nose at my thoughts and shook my head again, “What could go wrong with a blind date on New Year? It’s kind of exciting for me.” A blind date on New Year? Then what about Kendall’s dinner plan with me?

“No, Bridget. I can’t. I really can’t. I already have a plan with my friend for New Year. We’re going to have dinner together.” I told Bridget about Kendall’s plan but without mentioning that I’m going to have dinner with a guy alone.

She sighed heavily at my words, “Look, I give you some time to think about it. I won’t be telling Kevin if you agree or not until tomorrow. So, I’ll give you a time until tomorrow.” She said before walking out from the room. That’s it? Only that? What’s the purpose of a blind date? Oh it’s no use for me. Besides, I’m going to have dinner with Kendall on that night. I can’t just call him and tell him that I can’t go just because I’m going to have a blind date! I shook my head once again and got up to put my laptop on the desk and my phone on the nightstand before jumping to the bed again and curling under the warm blanket. Well, I think I just have to take a nap so I could get this blind date thing out of my head.