Catch Me When I Fall

I looked up at the ceiling as I heard Matt talking to me about our Christmas holiday. We're going back to San Fran tomorrow morning. But we have one problem here. We haven't did our Christmas shopping. Matt was trying to think about the stuff he wants to buy for Christmas gift, mostly about the thing he has to buy for me. So far, I already got what I wanted all this time. I already have an awesome family and friends, got a new camera from him last year, and a cute notebook that he got for me 2 years ago.

"I really have no idea what I'm going to buy for you this year." Matt said with a sigh.

"You don't have to buy me anything, Matt. I already got what I wanted so far. You being here with me is enough." I said with a smile and he turned to see me.

"Why do I have the best sister ever in this world?" He said sweetly to me, making me to roll my eyes playfully at him.

"So, what are we going to do today? Are we going to shopping or just staying here in your studio all day?"

"Apparently, you're stuck with me for a whole day. Sorry," he smiled sheepishly at me and I just shrugged my shoulders. I opened my Jenny Han novel and started to read again.

"But my friends are coming today. They need to finish some things before taking their Christmas break." I had a bad feeling when he said that.

"Which friends? I think I won’t mind if they wouldn't distract me or something." I said in a low voice. Matt looked like he's trying so hard to explain which friends of him that would be coming over. I gulped hardly, preparing for the worst.

"Um, about that. I'm not really sure if they-"

"Hey, man." The door opened, making Matt and I turn our head to look at the door. I tried not to show that I was surprised but put on a fake little smile on my face.

"Hey," Matt stood up from his seat and gave his friends a man hug. I just stared them aimlessly, trying not to look shocked.

"Oh, hey, Ella." Carlos' eyes landed at me and he smiled widely at me. The other 3 guys behind him were looking at me. Oh God. Why did I have to meet Kendall again?

"Hi, guys." I greeted them, trying to be polite. I stood up to give them a hug. Kendall was the last person I hugged and it was awkward. I could see in his eyes that he wanna talk with me but I completely ignored him.

"What's up?" Logan asked, standing next to his friends.

"Pretty good." I smiled a little, "Um, Matt? Can I talk to you for a second?" I gave Matt a look and he nodded at me. We walked in to the recording booth and Matt did something to make them can’t hear me and Matt.

"So.." He trailed off, shutting the door behind him, and crossed his arms over his shoulder.

"I thought it wouldn't be them!" I said and sighed heavily.

"I wanted to tell you that they're going to come but before I could continue my words, they appeared." Matt said calmly and I sighed again, looking down at my shoes.

"Why you avoid them, Ella? What did they do you that make you act like this?" He asked curiously.

"It's not them, Matt. Besides, if I tell you, you wouldn't understand, though." I spoke up.

"If it's not them, then who? You know you can tell me anything. No secrets, remember?" His words reminded me when we were kids. We told each other’s secrets and covered up for each other when our parents got mad at any of us.

"It's just Kendall. He said something about me." I glanced at the outside from the glass window and could tell that they're talking about me and Matt. Kendall looked so curious and sometimes glanced at me from the corner of his eyes.

"What did he say?" He pushed.

"Look, there's a thing that you shouldn't know because I'm sure that I can finish it on my own. You just don't have to worry, okay?"

"How can I not worry?! You've been acting differently around me when they're with us!"

I sighed loudly and ran my fingers through my hair, "Kendall was my junior high friend slash crush. Him being here with us or around me is just awkward to me. You always know that I'm always awkward around the guy I like. And it happens again."

"Do you still like him? Because the reason why it's getting awkward is because you still have feelings for him."

"Heck no! I don't like him anymore! I moved on, okay?!" I got defensive.

"Look, I don't know if you still like him or not, but here's the thing for you," he placed his hands on my shoulders, "It doesn't matter if you still like him or not. Please just be nice to him because he and the others are good guys. You can't keep acting strange around Kendall. I could tell that he's curious and wondering why you act like that around him."

"You know that I'm not good around guys. I'm shy, awkward, and cold! I don't know if I can be nice with them. I've never been close to any guys before expect you, dad, Taylor, my best friends' boyfriends, and some of work mates." I reasoned.

"Hey, you haven't tried yet, right? Just be nice. Show some smiles and throw some silly dry jokes you always have. And," I raised my eyebrow, "Fake smiles aren't allowed here." He smirked at me, making me to laugh slightly.

"Okay. Fine. I'll try." I smiled at him and he tapped my nose.

"Good. There's my sister," he smiled sweetly at me, "come on. I give you a hug." He pulled me in a comforting hug and I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, before pulling back from the hug.

"Come on. Let's go outside. I'm sure they start to wonder if we forget that they're here." He said before we walked out from the booth.

"Sorry about that." Matt said as we walked to the outside.

"Is everything okay?" Kendall asked. His eyebrow raised in curiosity.

"Everything is okay." I answered him in hurry, "so, you guys can do your work and I'll be here reading my book."

"Um, okay, then." They turned their head to look at Matt and discuss a few things with him. Only Kendall who would glance at me sometimes and give a look.

While they did their job with Matt, I kept reading my novel and listened to my iPod. Sometimes when the guys got their break, they would mess with me. Carlos, James, and Logan always came up with a silly joke that made me, Kendall, and Matt cracking up like crazy. I could've sworn that I laughed so hard until my tummy hurt.

Suddenly, everything didn't seem awkward around. I stopped faking my smiles and Matt seemed proud because of that. He smiled so widely at me every time I talked with one of the guys, especially Kendall. Ah about that one guy. Actually, it was still kind of awkward. I always got nothing to say to him and he's the one who always opened up the conversation.

"I think I have to go now. I have a flight tomorrow morning and I haven't packed anything yet." Matt shot me a look.

"Hey! You know I was busy these few days. Emma needed my opinion and help for the next month's issue." I defended.

Matt sighed, earning some giggles, "'Kay. Fine. I'll see you tomorrow, lil' sis." He got up and hugged me.

"Okay." After we parted, I said goodbye to James, Carlos, Logan, and the last Kendall.

"I need to talk with you. We'll meet at the parking lot." He whispered right into my ear as we hugged. I nodded slightly and we parted.

"Bye!" I gave them one last smile before walking out from the studio and to the parking lot. I opened my car door and put my bag on the passenger seat. I closed the door and turned around, bumping right into Kendall.

"You scared me!" I sighed heavily and shook my head.

"Oh? Sorry." He grinned sheepishly. There was an awkward silence around us. It's always awkward. I didn't remember when was the last time I didn't have an awkward silence with him.

"So...." I trailed off, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry," I looked up and furrowed my eyebrows.

"For what?" I asked him, getting a little bit confused.

"For the words I said at the park on the other day," then it all made sense for me. I was about to scoff and act all cold to him but he looked like he's truly sorry.

"I know I don't have any right to tell you what to do. It was spontaneous and I couldn't control my mouth. It was so rude and I know I made you feel really bad. I'm sorry. I’m really sorry." It was simple but it sounded like he really meant it.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, "I already forgave you. Don't worry about that."

He smiled widely at me and his eyes lit up, "Really?" I nodded and suddenly he hugged me tightly.

We parted and he sighed in relief, "Can I take you out for dinner?"

"I can't. Sorry," I gave him a half smile, "I haven't packed anything for my trip to San Fran tomorrow."

"Oohh. Okay." He looked kind of disappointed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Wait. You have my number, right? Then you can call me and we can have dinner on a different time. How's that sound?" I suggested, trying to be more friendly and nice to him.

"Yeah. That's cool." He smiled.

"Okay, then. I have to go. I'll see you later, Kendall." I smiled and gave him a quick hug before stepping into my car and starting the car.

"Later, Ella. Drive safe." He said and waved at me as I drove off to the apartment. Well, Matt was right. Being nice to them wasn't that hard. It was me who didn't wanna give it a try all this time. But still, I think I will always have an awkward moment with Kendall. Oh wait. Everything is always awkward when it comes to Kendall.