Stories In Scars
Whoever Invented The Delete Button: Thank You
That shower was the best shower I’ve had in a long time. A very long time. Once we got out, I put on one of Ryan’s t-shirts. It was long enough to work as a short dress, so I just slipped a belt over it. After throwing my hair up, Ryan took me back to my place.
Since I didn’t have a car, not yet anywho, Ryan would have to pick me up and bring me back to his place. It seems like I’ve been living there, even though I haven’t known him for a week. Every day feels like a week with him. But then, looking back, these few days have seemed like only hours. I can’t explain it, but I think I’m falling in love.
“I’ll pick you up at six!”
“See you then,” and with that and a kiss, I went to my apartment.
As soon as I got home, I kicked off my shoes, opened the fridge, took out a Coke, and gulped it down. Sitting down on the thrift store sofa, I got my notebook out of my bag, and started writing.
“i am the fear in your eyes,
i am the ringing in your ears,
i am everything around you,
hold on while the alcohol permeates.”
On another line I start,
“never written a love song,
so i’m not sure how one goes.
open my eyes,
it’s now all light,
what before was just at the end of the tunnel.”
After more writing about what had happened in the last four days or so, I go and turn on my MacBook. I log into my email account, and start a letter to my friend, Aisling, about what’s been happening.
“Hey Aisling! There’s been so much going on since I’ve moved here. Well, not for the first two weeks, but the last four days have been phenominal! At open-mic night, at a local shitty coffee shop, I met some great guys, Ryan and Spencer. Yes, the Ryan and Spencer from Panic! At The Disco. Well, I met Brendon and Jon, played for them, and they were stunned. I’m going on tour with them in about a month! And... Ryan’s my boyfriend! I’ll keep you posted on details!
Love ya,
Grey”
Wow. Reading over my email, I seemed so happy. I mean, I am happy, don’t get me wrong, but this was fake. My mask was coming back on. The facade was picking up where it left off. I can’t do this. I just need to start over. I can’t keep doing this.
I quickly erased everything I wrote, and started again.
“Hey, Aisling. Everything is great in Vegas. I have a new boyfriend, Ryan, and am going on tour with the band he’s in in about a month. I’m going to be really busy, so if I don’t reply, don’t worry.
Bye,
Grey”
There. That’s better. I suppose.
I set my alarm for 5:00, and laid down. Even though last night was amazing, I still needed my rest.
Since I didn’t have a car, not yet anywho, Ryan would have to pick me up and bring me back to his place. It seems like I’ve been living there, even though I haven’t known him for a week. Every day feels like a week with him. But then, looking back, these few days have seemed like only hours. I can’t explain it, but I think I’m falling in love.
“I’ll pick you up at six!”
“See you then,” and with that and a kiss, I went to my apartment.
As soon as I got home, I kicked off my shoes, opened the fridge, took out a Coke, and gulped it down. Sitting down on the thrift store sofa, I got my notebook out of my bag, and started writing.
“i am the fear in your eyes,
i am the ringing in your ears,
i am everything around you,
hold on while the alcohol permeates.”
On another line I start,
“never written a love song,
so i’m not sure how one goes.
open my eyes,
it’s now all light,
what before was just at the end of the tunnel.”
After more writing about what had happened in the last four days or so, I go and turn on my MacBook. I log into my email account, and start a letter to my friend, Aisling, about what’s been happening.
“Hey Aisling! There’s been so much going on since I’ve moved here. Well, not for the first two weeks, but the last four days have been phenominal! At open-mic night, at a local shitty coffee shop, I met some great guys, Ryan and Spencer. Yes, the Ryan and Spencer from Panic! At The Disco. Well, I met Brendon and Jon, played for them, and they were stunned. I’m going on tour with them in about a month! And... Ryan’s my boyfriend! I’ll keep you posted on details!
Love ya,
Grey”
Wow. Reading over my email, I seemed so happy. I mean, I am happy, don’t get me wrong, but this was fake. My mask was coming back on. The facade was picking up where it left off. I can’t do this. I just need to start over. I can’t keep doing this.
I quickly erased everything I wrote, and started again.
“Hey, Aisling. Everything is great in Vegas. I have a new boyfriend, Ryan, and am going on tour with the band he’s in in about a month. I’m going to be really busy, so if I don’t reply, don’t worry.
Bye,
Grey”
There. That’s better. I suppose.
I set my alarm for 5:00, and laid down. Even though last night was amazing, I still needed my rest.