More Than Just Curious

Frank’s P.O.V

I looked over at Gerard and he looked so upset. I couldn’t help but feel horrible. I still can’t believe that his brother had walked in on us. If that was my mom who walked in she would have been furious. But I also couldn’t help but feel guilty. So guilty that it hurt. I had just told Gerard that I would do this type of friends with benefits thing with him. Truth was that I wasn’t so sure. I felt like I was betraying Bella. I still loved her.

I was good at not showing my feelings though. I was heartbroken, but at the same time I looked happy on the outside. I wasn’t an open book. You couldn’t read me that easily. You had to really know me to be able to tell what I was really feeling. I didn’t really like messing with Gerard’s head like this; I mean I could tell that in time I may really start to like Gerard. He was such a great guy and he watched out for his friends. I really liked that about him.

“Do you think we should go talk to him?” I asked Gerard, looking over to the door that Mikey had just walked through. He looked at me with huge, shocked eyes before shaking his head no.

“When things like this happen, Mikey seems to get worse when he is confronted about it right after it happens. It’s just best if he cools off first,” Gerard explained to me, standing up and walking over to his door before shutting it closed.

“Will Mikey tell anyone about this?” I questioned him. I was honestly scared; I was already the fag in school and had gotten beaten up. I didn’t want this added on to it.

“No way, Mikey knows how bad I have it at this school. He would never think about selling me out like that, or even you. It’s none of his business anyway. I can make out with whoever I want to make out with,” he chuckled to himself. I sighed and nodded my head, but I couldn’t help but feel a little insecure.

It was silent for a few moments, all I could hear was the faint sound of the Misfits blasting out of the speakers in what I was guessing Mikey’s room. I actually loved the Misfits. They were an awesome band, one of my favorites.

“So Frankie, I have a few more questions to ask you,” Gerard told me breaking the silence. I nodded at him for him to continue.

“What’s your favorite band?” he asked me, more than likely hearing the Misfits playing. I thought about it for a moment before responding

“Probably Black Flag or Misfits, but I like a lot of bands so I don’t really have a favorite.” I answered him. He smiled.

“I like those bands too, they’re pretty awesome. What’s your favorite color?” he asked me, quickly going along with the questions.

“Mauve,” I told him truthfully. I just loved the color. It was so pretty. It was Bella’s favorite too. He looked at me with a questioning face.

“It’s a mixture between purple and blue,” I laughed at him. He smiled at me and began to speak.

“My favorite is red and black. I really don’t think that there is a mix between the colors.” He joked to me; I chuckled a little bit before shaking my head.

“Not that I know of,” I told him smirking at his joke.

“What’s your favorite movie?” he asked me, keeping the questions rolling. I felt as if I was on a game show.

“The Nightmare before Christmas or Chainsaw massacre,” I told him. I liked being asked questions; I was glad that he was trying to get to know me.

“I like The City of Lost Children. But I mostly like any horror movies,” he told me. I nodded in agreement. I really like horror movies too.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked me. Well, I was afraid of the death of loved ones. I was petrified of that, but also spiders. I hated those things.

“Spiders,” I told him, leaving out the death part, that would probably just freak him out. “What are you afraid of?” I asked him.

“Needles,” He told me truthfully. “I hate those things so much, they just freak me out, it doesn’t seem natural.” I agree with him on that, but I was going to get tattoos when I’m older. Mostly just ones that mean something to me.

“What’s up with that ex-girlfriend of yours?” he randomly asked me. I could feel a slight sting at my eyes. I felt as if I was going to cry. I really wished that he wouldn’t have brought that up. I really just want to forget.

“What y-you mean?” I asked him stuttering slightly. I really hoped that he would just drop this, I hated talking about her.

“Like, why did you guys break up? I can tell that you love her still, why don’t you just tell her?” he asked me, continuing on with the subject.

“I can’t tell her, it’s too late,” I told him slowly, beginning to replay the events of that night in my head. “She’s dead,” I added on. I felt the tears begin to fall, silent tears. I turned my head away so that he couldn’t see me crying.

“Oh, Frankie, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know,” he apologized, “How did she die?” he asked me, still not stopping with the questions.

I thought about that night for a minute. The last time that I saw her, the last scream she ever made. The way her eyes stayed open even after she was long gone.

“Car accident,” I told him honestly. But all that was going through my head was what actually happened the night of the car accident. The night that I murdered the girl that I love.