Crazy Beautiful

It was dark until I started coughing abruptly and my eyes opened but there was nothing to see. I felt my body shake and my head began pounding and nothing was making sense to me. I didn’t know what had happened or what I had done. I felt my body grow weak and I was tired. I was picked up and carried away to somewhere else. It wasn’t until I felt the dryer sand that I realized I was still on the beach but only soaking wet this time.

“Riley?” I heard that was barely audible over the choking and stuttering

I can’t form words and it hurts to open my eyes and be able to see nothing. I feel a hand caress my face before lifting my head up and cradling it gently close to their chest. I heard the fast pound of a heartbeat. The person’s fingers weaved themselves into my wet and tousled hair. I wanted to know who this was that was holding me and not letting me go. I couldn’t fight them either I knew they were far too strong for me to break free from their grasp especially while I was as weak as I was.

“Please don’t leave me Riles.” I heard him say and I can feel their body began to shake as I fall in and out of consciousness. The pattern of this in and out mental state reminded me much of the waves from earlier.

I wanted to hold on and help this person know I was okay. I needed to be okay for Brian if I wanted to be his girl. I loved being his girl. What the fuck had I been thinking when I decided to enter the water while a storm as at bay. I felt my head being lowered back down to the ground and I felt a pair of thin lips over my own plump ones. I knew that moment on this stranger was Brian.

“Brian?” I whisper out after allowing a minute of kissing to pass by.

“Riley what’s wrong? Why can’t you let me save you anymore? I’m not leaving you.” He admits lovingly and I don’t know how to respond.

“Why are you so distant from me then?” I ask him quietly afraid of his response.

In the dark hour of the night I can hardly make out his facial features but I can feel the pain that shot through his body when I asked that question. I hadn’t meant to hurt him I just wanted an answer. He didn’t answer me he just lifted me up and carried me away from this memory. He promised I’d be okay, but I didn’t know if I could believe him anymore. I was too weak to protest against him anyways and simple allowed him to take me back home for the evening. I knew we’d eventually have to talk this over. I didn’t need to know everything at that exact moment I just had wanted to get away from there.

I let my heavy eyes close as Brian held my close to his chest.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

I woke up with the sun burning bright through the windows of the master bedroom in Brian’s home. I rubbed at my eyes that presently felt puffy and sore. My whole body ached from the harsh waves that tossed me around. I shut my eyes before groaning out in disgust at my stupidity. I don’t remember much of anything from last night. Brian came shuffling in the room not to long after that and began packing a suitcase.

“What are you doing?” I ask slightly agitated

“You’re leaving for Palm Springs today in three hours.” He says before doesn’t look at me.

“I’ll pack it then just leave it.” I snap out at him

He stops what he’s doing with his jaw locked shut he trudges back to the dining room tensely and that is all of our interaction. I rubbed my face and sat all the way up and went through my head the items I could bring to the spa with me. I wasn’t sure how me and Brian had gotten this way but I knew by the time I got back if it hadn’t changed then I’d be leaving for a while. I’d stay around everyone but I wasn’t going to see Brian anymore if this was the proper course of our relationship. It wasn’t what I wanted.

“Hello,” I answer my ringing cell phone

“Hey girly Q, you excited about the spa?” I can hear Val ask over the phone.

I chuckle and smile, “Yeah I’m excited, but I need to talk to you alone at some point today.” I admit hoping she’d offer me time.

“Of course Riley, you know I’m always here.” She says before telling me Matt wanted to give her a going away present for the week.

I hung up the phone quickly as I crinkled my face in pure disgust. Although I knew Matt and Val really loved each other. The door creaked open while I was halfway done packing my clothes. I giggled when I saw it was Pinkly running into the room and licking my ankles. She wanted to go for a walk and I knew Brian wouldn’t want to do it while he was in his mood. I walked down stairs and could see Brian was gone. I sighed before clipping her leash to her collar and mumbling out a ‘fuck you too’ meant for the imaginary Brian.

I didn’t know what to do anymore and it scared me that we were hear once again. I was back to being that hurt seventeen year old girl while Brian was the charming and lovable playboy. I breathed out heavily and walked out the front door. Pinkly’s walk wouldn’t be a very long one, but she wouldn’t mind. She enjoyed simple walks anyways.