Crazy Beautiful

I walked through Matt and Val’s front door with a single knock as my phone rang again with Brian’s cell phone number this time. He wanted to talk about this, but I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I just wanted to be left alone for a while. People always wanted to talk about things and act like they were okay, but I didn’t want to anymore. I wanted to forget any of this ever existed or even happened around me. Val turned her direction from Matt to me as they stood in the kitchen. She then disappeared into a different room for a second before she came back and allowed me to tell them what had happened.

“I’m going to kill him.” Matt roared with clenched jaws

“I wish I had never met him.” I say sadly as I began to fall apart

“Come on honey, you’ve had a long day. Take a little nap and we’ll clear everything up afterwards.” Val says sweetly taking on her motherly role.

I shook my head as I sat up in dark fluffy bed in their guest room where I had been staying the first weeks I was back. I closed my eyes and thought about everything and all that has happened. I didn’t understand why Brian would cheat on me. No matter what I did I couldn’t make sense of any of it. I was the only girl he ever compared to sunshine, but maybe that was just another line I fell for. Brian never use to be so heartless, he used to care about others feelings. Yet, here I sat, heartbroken and upset by his careless actions. It must’ve been something that I did. I chuckle at that shaking my head before realizing I always blamed myself when this may have been unavoidable.

I could hear Matt and Val talking before their door opened and Matt started screaming at who I can assume would be Brian. I sighed and the tears felt heavier as they fell. I couldn’t hear anything else so I decided to approach them all. Matt stood facing Brian before turning to me. Brian opened his mouth to speak but Matt grabbed him and yanked him into the room. I stood nearby Val and she told me it’d be okay at some point.

“Just fucking tell her now before you lose her again, you dumbfuck.” I hear matt growl from the other room and then he storms out angrily.

I snort at matt’s words and think of how stupid this honestly looks. Brian and I were already fighting and needing help from our friends. I stand up deciding to let everything go. I wasn’t going to let him leave me now, we had been making progress. Still, I couldn’t wrap my head around Michelle’s appearance. However, it didn’t matter as long as Brian knew where he made his mistake. I look to my right and then my left as Brian comes into view and smiles broadly at me. I roll my eyes and cross my arms over my chest shaking my head as the anger fills me again. But I quickly push it aside.

“Let’s talk Brian,” I say causing him to sigh and rub his face “I need to know what’s going on whether I want to hear it or not.” I admit and he raises his eyebrows

“Now you want to talk?” He asks a little angrier then needed, but I could understand his frustration

“Yes, I do actually,” I admit foolishly, “It’s too important and you need to tell me.” I say looking at the floor as a memory comes to my mind.

Brian was laughing along with Matt and Jimmy. Those boys were such fools, especially when they all got together. I was wrapping my wrist after I had been shoved by Brian when I got between him and some other dude during a fight. I forgave him. I wrapped the last of the bandage around my wrist and I noticed a sorry Brian staring at me. I smiled and nodded my head as if to answer his pleas.

I got up from the slide I was currently sitting on and moved over to the swings. I watched from there as Michelle came up and sat in the grass with Brian. He was a jerk to me all the time more so then he ever had been. Zacky came up to me and sat on the swing to my right. I hadn’t talked much since the little fight, but I was okay with that. Brian talked to Michelle without leaving our eye contact. She giggled and tried hard to get his attention, but he never looked away from me. That is until she grabbed his jaw and kissed him hard on the mouth.
I whimpered and looked to the mulch underneath my swing. I scolded myself for ever thinking Brian would change. I was more of his friend’s friend. Brian and I had never formed our own friendship, but it was okay we could get little remarks in when needed then we could ignore each other.

“Don’t you ever get tired of those bimbos?” I heard Zacky ask next to me as he tried to make me smile

“Yeah,” I mumbled “all the time.” I sighed out and began to swing cautiously

“Maybe when we’re older they will all disappear,” Zacky suggest then got off the swing and began to push me a little higher. “Besides guys like Brian never see a perfect girl even when starring straight at them.” he finished before placing a delicate and soft kiss on my cheek, I blushed and closed my eyes.

I opened my eyes and I was still sitting in Matt and Val’s house with chaos enveloping me. I couldn’t escape long enough to forget what was happening. I stood up smiling as Zacky’s comments rings through my head, “Even if their starring right at them.”