Resistance Is Useless

13.
Andy

I changed quickly and sat in my bunk, my chin resting on my knees. I was so damn confused about Jack. I knew that I shouldn’t get involved with him, because I just wasn’t in a place in my life where I wanted a serious relationship, or could handle one. But on the other hand, I really wanted to put all of that in the “fuck-it bucket” and just be with Jack! He was so cute, and funny, and sweet, and attractive, and we got along so well, and he was a really good kisser, and I liked his hair, and his big brown eyes, and his goofy smile, and the way he smelled, and how he sometimes acted like a 9 year old (in the best way possibly), and the way you could tell just by watching him play his guitar at shows that there wasn’t anything in the world that he’d rather be doing. And the way he listened to every stupid thing I had to say like it was important, and how he makes me laugh all the time and… Oh god. I really like him. I have feelings for Jack. This thought alarmed me. I literally shook my head, as if trying to shake the epiphany from my brain. I can’t have feelings for him, or at least, I can’t let them get the best of me like they did last night… Jack deserves better than me. I have too much shit going on right now and he shouldn’t have to deal with any of it. And so it was decided. Last night was the first and last time anything like that would happen between Jack and I… or so I hoped…