Resistance Is Useless

17.
Jack

As soon as I opened my eyes I regretted it. The light streaming in through the windows was blinding. I lifted my head to see where I was, but the throbbing got worse, and I put my head back down, wincing. After the throbbing lessened, I took a deep breath and sat up. The first thing I realized was that I didn’t have any clothes on, except my boxers. That was a little odd; I didn’t remember ever taking them off, but then again, weirder things have happened to me. I looked to my left, and on the couch, still passed out, was Alex. He was naked. Again, weirder things have happened. I looked to my right and saw Andy asleep, on the ground next to me. ‘Holy shit’ I thought. The only thing she had on was a pear of underwear. No bra. Nothing. I mean, this wouldn’t have been that weird if it were any other girl, but Andy? She maybe would have been in her underwear, if she was drunk enough, but something really must’ve happened for her to be completely topless. I moved my legs and realized I was sitting on something. I leaned to the side and saw what it was. Sure enough, it was Andy’s bra. I instantly put two and two together. Andy and I hooked up last night. ‘Fuck!’ her titties were all out there, right in front of me, and I couldn’t even remember it! At least we didn’t go all the way. Well, I suppose it was possible, but considering we both still had underwear on, it wasn’t likely. One of us probably passed out before things could go that far. I looked down at Andy, who was still asleep. She was turned on her side with her hair awry, and I could see a hickey on the side of her neck. I laughed to myself. Andy’s light snoring then stopped, and her eyelids fluttered open. She opened her eyes all the way, before wincing and closing them tightly, bringing her hand to her head. She took a deep breath and sat up, and smiled haphazardly at me.
“Oh my god!” she yelled, realizing she was topless, her hands flying to cover her chest.
“Here,” I smiled, holding her bra out to her. Her face turned beet red. Andy snatched it from my hand quickly and turned her back to me as she put it on. Once her bra was in place, she turned back to me and crossed her legs pretzel-style.
“Fuck. My head hurts so bad. I can’t even remember the last time I had a hangover like this. I blame you,” she said, her head resting in her hands. She suddenly looked up. “Did we…?”
“Yup.” I replied.
“But we didn’t…?” she looked worried.
“No.” She sighed with relief. “Well, I’m pretty sure we didn’t,” I said.
“I don’t think we did. But it seems like we got pretty close…” she looked over to the couch, at the naked Alex, who was still passed out, and started laughing to herself.
“What?” I asked. I was expecting her to freak out, but she was just laughing!
“I dunno,” she said, smiling at me, “This,” she paused, gesturing to the room with her hands, “Is just kinda funny. You and I almost fucked each other, Alex is over there naked, I was topless, and neither of us remembers any piece of what happened last night. This whole situation is so fucked up, it’s just funny.”
“You’re right. It is pretty funny,” I chuckled. “You’re not upset?”
“Nah. It’s not worth it. I mean, we were both wasted, and we don’t even know for sure that we hooked up, we’re just kinda assuming. So I just don’t think it’s worth getting my panties in a knot over,”
“No, we definitely hooked up,” I said pointing to her neck.
“What?” she exclaimed, her hand flying to the spot I was pointing to. “God! You gave me a hickey? Now everyone’s gonna know!”
“Oh don’t worry,” Rian said casually, walking into the front lounge with his pajamas still on, “I’m pretty sure almost everyone saw you guys making out last night. You took your bra off and everything.” Andy’s face turned even redder than before.
“Okay, now I’m upset!” she whisper-yelled to me. She tried to stand, but her hangover got the best of her and she fell back to the floor, landing in my arms. She let out an exasperated sigh and put her hands over her face.
“You suck. You know that, right?” Andy said peaking out at me with one eye from behind her hands.
“Yeah, but you still love me,” I smiled at her. She sat up, pursed her lips and shook her head ‘no’ at me, but then smiled. She stood up again, slowly this time. Andy closed her eyes and groaned.
“Where do we keep the Advil?” She asked.
“Bathroom cabinet,”
“Thanks. Heh. You would know,” she chuckled to herself. With that, she turned and walked out of the room. After a moment, I stood from the floor. The throbbing in my head increased. I walked over to Alex, who was STILL completely asleep, and poked his back. He didn’t move or make a sound. I laughed quietly and ran my hand through my hair.
“So, when are you gonna stop kidding yourself and ask her out?” Rian asked. I just turned to him and shrugged.