I'm Dancing on the Ceiling

“Clarissa! This record can’t be done! Let’s make 20 more songs!” Ian whined, hugging me as we listened to the very last edit of the last song. I hugged him back and then stepped away.

“I love you, Ian. I want to keep going with this record forever. But, my boyfriend’s taking me out to dinner one last time before he goes out on tour and I have to be out of here in like 3 minutes to be on time.”

“Let me produce your next record too, kay?”

“Of course. I gotta go though!”

I fixed my boat neck grey Vans shirt so it lay over the hem of my short jean shorts while I left the recording studio. I skipped down the hall to the front entrance, and stopped dead in my tracks.

“Mason. What are you doing here?” I hissed.

“Catrin. Wow. You look… amazing, and you’re brunette. That’s, wow. I knew you’d dyed your hair, and. But wow. You’re so grown up,” he muttered.

“Mason!” I snapped.

He stared at me, his blue eyes searching for something. But I couldn’t tear my eyes off him. He looked good. He was clean-shaven, his brown hair was cut and looked soft. He was well-rested, based on the lack of dark circles. He was wearing a black blazer over a white t-shirt and dark jeans. He had gained a certain fullness back to his face that I remember, and he looked healthy. It was just so nice to see him healthy.

"I've changed, Cat. I really have. I got clean and stopped hanging out with Dean and them. I just, I want you back, so badly," Mason said softly.

"It's Clary now, Mason. And I don't want you back. You may be well-dressed and clean and sober, but I've moved on. I moved on so far. Forget about me."

“I can’t. It’s not that simple,” he sighed. I walked across the entrance and hugged him.

“Oh, Mase, what am I going to do with you? We can’t be together.”

He stifled a sob into my shoulder and held my waist.

“Why not?”

“I have a, well, a, uhm…”

Why couldn’t I just say it? Boyfriend/ Boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.

“You have someone else, don’t you?” he asked quietly.

“I’m sorry, Mason. I really am. But..”

“I understand. I was a fucking asshole, Ca-Clary. I just wish I could take everything back.”

“It’s too late for that now, but it’s good to see you sober.”

“I did it for you.”

“Stay this way, okay? I want you in my life, even if it’s not as my boyfriend. You were always my best friend. I want that back. How’s that sound? Would you be willing to be my friend?” I asked, running my hands through Mason’s short hair. There wasn’t nearly as much hair as Alex had, so there wasn’t much to grab onto… but the strands felt cool and soft between my fingers, just like I remember. I extracted myself before I got too attached, thinking of Alex and our plans for the night.

“I’ll be anything for you, Clary, if that means I can be in your life.”

“You realize that means you’re gonna have to keep your hands to yourself, right? No touching.”

“I was never good at that.”

“I know. Come on, walk out with me,” I said, holding out my hand. He took it with a smile and we walked out together.

“When did you start wearing short shorts?” he asked.

“When I left and moved to Georgia. It’s fucking hot down there,” I explained.

“You left me for Georgia?” he asked.

“Yeeeeah, pretty much.”

He shook his head as I pushed open the studio doors and we walked together into the warm California late afternoon sun.

“I can’t believe you did it, Cat. You really did it,” he said while I pulled out my phone to find a text message.

Alex:running a bit late. Be there in 10. Promise.

“Clary, Mason. It’s Clary.”

I looked at him and he looked sad.

“So, no more of my spunky redhead? No more Catrin?”

“Sorry, babe. No more Catrin. But I’m still spunky. I just got rid of the ginger locks and changed Catrin to Clarissa. I’m sorry. I had to start completely fresh.”

“Don’t apologize to me,” he said softly, his tone so completely different. It scared me, because I thought he was gonna start crying.

“What? Why not?”

“I drove you away, Clary. We were happy together. We had our life planned out. You were gonna do this and I was gonna go to school, get my teaching degree and then when we were older, we were gonna get married and have a few kids. We’d have a house and a mortgage, a regular life and nothing was going to get in the way. And then I got into drugs, and turned into an asshole. A really fucked up, “I’m dominant in this relationship” asshole who didn’t value you. I’m the one who should be sorry, Clary. I hurt you. I made you cry, for hours on end and I didn’t care. I was too hyped up on drugs to care. And I’m sorry. It took me losing you to realize that my life was going nowhere, that I had to change something. I’m sorry that I couldn’t’ve changed while I still had you.”

Alex:Who’s the guy?

I quickly texted him back, Alexander, you are a creeper! Where are you?

“You did hurt me. You scared me. You made me want to die. But that doesn’t matter now. You have changed. You got help. And so did I. I’m not scared anymore.”

“CLARY ANN BOWEN!” Alex called from down the street.

“You’re a jackass, Alexander,” I shot back at him. He grinned, loping towards us. He kissed me as soon as I was in arm’s reach.

“Hi,” he mumbled, breaking the kiss.

“Hi yourself.”

He winked and turned his attention to Mason.

“Who are you?” Alex asked.

I made sure I was between them as I responded, “Alex, this is Mason.”

“Mason?” Alex growled. I put my hand on his arm.

“It’s alright, Lex. He’s not gonna hurt me. I promise.”

He looked at me, eyes soft with fondness. I smiled and kissed him quickly.

“Anyway, Mason, this is the boyfriend. Say hi, boyfriend.”

“Hi boyfriend,” Alex repeated. Mason smirked.

“Gimme your phone, Mason,” I demanded. He handed it over and I quickly found his phone number, typing it into my contacts. I handed the phone back and grabbed Alex’s hand.

“I’ll text you later, okay? We gotta go!” I called over my shoulder as Alex started to drag me off.

“So that’s the ex, huh?”

“Yes, that’s the ex. Threatened?” I asked jokingly. He stopped, twirled me into his arms and planted a very passionate, deep kiss to my lips. I had to cling to him for support, since my knees had completely given out on me.

I hummed in appreciation.

“No, I’m not threatened.”