I Just Wanna Be Bad Enough For You

“I thought you said that Alex likes me?” I hissed at Jack.

“He said he does!” He threw up his arms in defense. “Well, that’s what he told me.”

“Did he say ‘I like Mackenzie’ or was it some other comment?” I asked quietly. We were currently in our art class watching some presentation on the history of popular artists from Spain or something of the likes.

“It was more along the lines of ‘Dude, she is fucking hot’.” He said it so matter of factly that it pissed me off. Now, I feel like a complete idiot. Of course he doesn’t actually like me. I’m just a piece of ass to him.

I rolled my eyes at him and then tried to actually focus my attention on the presentation. Jack is an idiot. I am an idiot. How could I let myself believe that Alex likes me? Well, maybe after what happened yesterday he does actually like me. We chatted online a little bit last night and he continued to ask about how good he was our whatever. Of course he was good. Have you seen him?

When the bell finally rang I ran out of the classroom to see if I could catch Alex before his next class. We would normally run into each other and chat for a minute or so before preceding to our next classes. No sign of Alex.

I let out a deep sigh and trudged along to AP Lit. Every time I would try to focus on school or anything else my mind would always wander back to Alex. I was excited to see Alex, talk to him in person. Maybe people would notice that we had a thing going on. Maybe Rian or Kara or even Lisa would make a comment of how cute we would look together. Maybe Rian would crack some joke and ask how things were yesterday afternoon. I mean, I tell my best friends everything. Why wouldn’t he?

“Hey Alex,” I said in a chipper tone. He sat down in the seat across from my own. I smiled at him, happy to see him.

“Hey Mackenzie,” he responded. He threw his lunch tray on the table and immediately dug in. I bit my lip nervously. I wasn’t really sure what to say to him. Why am I so awkward?

Through out lunch Alex barely said two words to me. He would only talk to me if necessary and he mostly conversed with everyone else, except me. And of course, at the moment, he was off at another table chatting it up with some girls. I kept trying to convince myself that it was a dumb idea to go over to his house to begin with. Who was I kidding though, I wanted to go over there. I wanted to kiss him. And even though I hate him at the moment, I don’t regret it. He was so good with words, so charming. He is in a band. How could I not have seen it? His job is to make girls fall in love with him.

After finishing my lunch I quickly packed up and scurried out of the cafeteria. Jack was probably the only one who noticed that I left and he probably didn’t even care that much. Or he did and would be showing up at my house after school.

“Hey Paige,” I said as I entered the room. She was painting on one of the easels in the back of the room.

“Hey Mackenzie!” She responded cheerfully. “How are you doing?”

“I’m alright,” I explained,” Alex is just being so hot and cold. I guess, I shouldn’t really have set my hopes so high. I just couldn’t help it. He is so charming and gorgeous and... UGH. I wish things were simple and I wasn’t so dumb.”

I sat down at a desk behind her and rested my head in my hands.

“You are not dumb! I definitely know of a few girls that have fallen for that Gaskarth charm of his. But he isn’t some God, so don’t treat him like one.”

“You are right,” I said as I sat up,” I think the best thing will be just trying to avoid him for a little while. I know I won’t be able to avoid him forever, but I think some space would do me good.” I then continued to explain to her exactly what happened.

“At the same time, do you think you are overreacting?” She questioned ,”I mean, he is being a douche, but he probably doesn’t think anything of it. He most likely isn’t avoiding you on purpose. Guys are just... well, guys.”

“I guess you’re right,” I sighed. “I will just not try for a while. Maybe I’ll wait til next Monday or something.”

“You are so over thinking all of this,” Paige joked.

“I know. I know.” I chuckled. “But, that is what I do.”

------- x -------

Can you not mention what happened yesterday afternoon to anyone? Thanks (:

I can not believe he just texted me that. Really?

“Where’d you go during lunch?” Jack asked as he welcomed himself into my room and plopped down on my bed.

“To the art room. Where else?” Wasn’t it obvious? Isn’t that where I always go when I need to think? Jack should know this by now.

“I was really asking why did you leave?” He explained.

“Alex has been ignoring me all day and then during lunch he would barely say two words to me. He was acting all awkward around me and then went off to hang all over other girls.”

“Alex is... Alex,” Jack continued,” I wouldn’t think about it too much. How did studying go after school yesterday?”

“Studying?” I questioned.

“With Alex. After school yesterday. He was late to band practice. He said you were helping him with some math homework.”

“Oh, yeah. It was fine. We just studied.” I continued to tidy up my room, picking up stray papers from my desk and clothes off the floor.

“Sure you just studied,” he added a wink.

“We did!” I threw my arms up in defense. “Nothing happened. I doubt he is even interested in me. I knew you were a liar.”

“I am not a liar! I love you, I would never lie to you!” He screeched.

I sat down on the bed next to him and fell back into the sheets. He then leaned back. Our heads were touching as we laid there next to each other. It still surprises me how much time I spend with Jack. We continue to grow closer, closer than even Paige and I.

“I’ll help you find a good guy.”