All for You

I frown slightly while looking out across the horizon of the parking lot where the bus was parked, appreciating my perch on the roof. I was perfectly hidden from the ground unless you knew exactly where to look.

The sun was just beginning to set, shades of pink and orange and yellow, a sunset straight from the mind of an artist on Sunset Boulevard. I sigh deeply, knowing that if I looked into the mirror, there would be a deep crease between my dark brows. I exhale again, causing my bangs to fly off my forehead.

The boys – and Andy – were all going clubbing tonight, and for the first time, it was the old, never-been-hurt Aria was coming out to play. The one who would rather stay home with a cup of tea and a good book then get plastered. But that realization, that I was no longer the girl I was three years ago, scared me, made me sad, made me doubt everything.

Which led to me crawling onto the bus roof. It seemed so much better up here, so much safer. Which is actually completely wrong – I could very easily fall to my death. Which seemed like a sweet pension considering my current state of mind.

There was a fake little knock on the metal of the bus, and black spiked hair that stuck up from where you could climb up. I almost cursed, but decided not to. I needed a hug, and who better to give me one than the boy who claimed to love me?

“Aria, we're all worried sick looking for you,” He whispered, his eyes looking directly into mine. I shrugged, and Jack finished his crawl until he was snuggled right up beside me, his eyes following mine towards the horizon. “What's wrong, love?”

I shrug, not wanting to talk to him about it, and seemed incapable of finding the words. I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, searching in the empty air in front of me, the words and phrases I needed just out of my reach. “I don't know,” I say finally, unsatisfied with this answer. Jack clearly was too, but his frown lines were evident. Jack never frowned.

“Yes you do.” He seemed to be getting angry, but calmed himself down quickly. “But I understand that trust is built, and if you would like to talk about it, I'm here to listen. And if not, I'm fine just hugging you,” Jack said, and I smiled, my first of the evening.

“That's all I ever wanted from you. The seed for trust to grow,” I said, burying my head in his chest and offering no further explanation. He holds me close, in silence, for awhile. It was simple, easy, and was exactly the kind of relationship I wanted from Jack. The kind where we didn't always need to speak, the kind where we didn't need to be making out constantly. Where silence could be accepted.

Jack kissed my head, and we sat in silence for a moment, before Jack cleared his throat. “Look, Aria, can I talk to you for a minute? Like, a serious talk.”

I nod slowly, detaching myself from him and crossing my legs. “Sure, Jack. What about?”

Jack didn't answer, getting lost in the sunset for a moment before clearing his throat again. “I know you don't like relationships or labels or anything with emotion because you're terrified of trusting people – and I completely understand and respect that. But … I don't like this. I don't like how we tiptoe around everyone and how we tiptoe around each other, how we tiptoe around what to call this. What is this?” He demands, though not harshly.

I shrug, not meeting his eyes. “I don't know, Jack.” The silence, though only a few beats too long, makes me uncomfortable. “What do you want it to be?” This was a demand.

“I don't know what I want it to be,” He admits, not longer meeting my eyes. “But I know that I want to be with you. Whatever this is – whatever we're gonna call it – I want it to be with you. I don't want to do this without you. So, I guess, this leads me to what I've been trying to say for so long.”

He looks so sad as he meets my eyes I'm sure he's going to tell me we can't do this anymore. That this has to stop. I feel my heart simultaneously beating so hard it hurts and skipping beats, and I feel the tears pricking in my eyes. I feel my skin beginning to get goosebumps, my whole body beginning to go numb. I've gotten so used to him, how am I going to live without him?

“Screw what Alex says, screw what Jeff says, screw what anyone says.” My eyes snap up to him, surprised. He smiles slightly, looking me dead in the eye now. “I want you and only you and … please tell me you want me and only me,” He whispers, sounding terrified. I laugh slightly, tears falling down my cheeks.

“I want you and only you, Jack,” I manage, and he takes my hands and kisses my knuckles, smiling up at me with those wide eyes I love so much. His smile looks so white against the black beard he's been growing, and I realize how much I truly care about this man, care about what happens next.

“Then, Aria, will you honor me by being my girlfriend?” He whispers, like he's scared. My heart beats loud in my throat, but I manage a smile, reaching forward and grabbing his face, kissing him deeply before leaning my forehead against his, practically giggling.

“Of course, Jack,” I whisper back, kissing him again until he instinctively grabs my sides to pull me closer, returning me to my position of honor with my head resting on his collar bone. It was comfortable, to have a label on this. I had always hated being someone's girlfriend, and all of a sudden, I was happy to be Jack's. Things were different now, and I wasn't sure why.

“I promise I'll take you out on real dates and everything,” He whispered in my ear, and I laughed. I was just happy to be with him, right now, in this moment. I kissed him, less gentle than before, and he accepted this as invitation for a full make out session, which I gladly took. But there was a scream of my name, and I groaned against Jack's lips, moving my hands off his chest and sticking my head out of my spot.

Andrea was standing in the parking lot with this stupid smile on her lips, and her arms crossed over her chest. “Get your sorry ass down here, I have good news.”

I look at Jack, and he smiles. “We can cuddle together later, girlfriend,” He says, then laughs. “It feels weird on my tongue. Aria Gaskarth is my girlfriend,” he continues, and I roll my eyes, kissing the end of his nose and beginning my descent.

“I'll see you later, boyfriend,” I say with a slight chuckle, putting both feet on the hot concrete, despite the setting sun behind me. Andy runs over to me, enveloping me in a hug and squeezing and squealing.

“Guess what, Aria!” She squeals, her face buried in my long, rat's nest of hair. I smile at her excitement, but try really hard to detangle her from me. She laughs again, and then looks at me, trying to hide her smile by biting her lip.

“What, Andrea?” I say, but then can't hide my own smile. “Wait! Me first.” I take a deep breath, and laugh. “Jack asked me to be his girlfriend.” Andrea squeals loudly, practically jumping on me and screaming louder, and I laugh myself, jumping up and down with her. She takes a deep breath, pushing her own hair out of her eyes.

“That's similar to my news.” She takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. “Zack asked me to be his girlfriend … and I said yes.”

I hit the ground before she could speak another word.