This Is How I Disappear

“Tess, what the hell? What’s wrong?”
I assume she’s trying to tell me what’s wrong, but because of all the sobbing and intense crying it’s impossible to understand a word she’s saying.

“Come on, come inside” I say and take her hand, leading her to the living room. “Hold on a second, okay?” Oh, God. What to do? I don’t do well with crying. I walk over to the kitchen and pour a glass of water. I mean, I have no idea what else to do than make sure she doesn’t get dehydrated from all the crying (if that’s possible).

“So, Tess, what’s wrong?” I say and place the glass of water in front of her.

“It’s nothing, really. I just... I don’t know. You remember I told you I had a job interview today, right?” I nodded in response. “Well, I didn’t get it”

“I don’t mean to be totally insensitive here, but is that why you’re crying? Tess, you’ll get a job somewhere, it’s no big deal”

“Yes it is! I’m a failure. I can’t do anything right. My parents didn’t afford sending me to college, I can’t get a job, all my friends ditched me, and no one in general likes me. I’m not a likeable person!”

“Oh, come on. You’re a likeable person, you’re just… complicated”

“Exactly” She says before she starts sobbing again. I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her, holding her tight against my chest. Jeez, I hate to see her like this.

“Frankie?”

“What?”

“I just want to say thanks”

“You’re welcome, Tess” I say and look her straight in the eyes. This is the very first time I’ve seen her crying, the first time I’ve seen her so vulnerable, which is a huge contrast to the Tess I know. Or the Tess I thought I knew. But I like that she’s vulnerable, it shows she’s human, not only a tuff gal from Jersey.

“You know, I thought you were the prettiest 14 year old on the planet” I admit I mostly say that to make her feel better, but she was kind of pretty, and she still is.

“Really?”

“Yeah, and I remember thinking you would look so much better without all that makeup”

“Helena wore a lot of makeup too, you know”

“I know. But that’s different”

“Different how?”

“Just different”

“She was so beautiful, so perfect”

“No one’s perfect, Tess. Not even Helena. But yes, she was beautiful”

“Do you think you’ll ever love again?”

“I don’t know”

“Okay… But, would you give it a chance? Like, a relationship?”

“I’ve been in relationships since Helena, you know”

“Yeah, I know” She says and looks down at her hands. She’s moved away from me, like she’s embarrassed or something. I suddenly feel an intense urge to kiss her. I don’t know if it’s the fact that she’s been crying or that she’s just so goddamn beautiful, but I can’t help it. Should I?
“Frankie, I-“ I don’t even give her a chance to finish her sentence. I gently lean in, waiting to see if she pulls away or not. When she doesn’t I kiss her passionately with my hands gently placed on both sides of her face. And not to be all cliché-ish, but you know in romantic comedies, when two people kiss each other for the first time, and there’s some retarded love song in the background? Yeah, it’s just like that, only better.