Nowhere, Anywhere, Somewhere
Choices
Megan POV
I sat on my bed with Lindsay painting my toenails some shade of dark purple.
I picked up my phone and checked the time.
November 16,2009
6:34 pm
I sighed, setting in down on the night stand and look down at her bright red hair.
" Linds?" I called nervously.
She looked up, raising an eyebrow.
" Yeah?"
" Do you- Do you think it's stupid of me, to hope that Brian will leave his family for me? "
Lindsay sat up, startled.
" Meg, what are you saying?"
I paused a moment, " I'm saying- that, as much as I love him, as much as need him, he has a family. A family I could never give him. Maybe it would be best if...I just left. And made things easier?"
Lindsay stared at me, mouth agape.
" Megan Adelaide Carter! Are you telling me that after all of this, after all of the obstacles yall had to overcome together, you're giving up?"
I shrugged, playing with the hem of my shirt.
" Meg, do you want him to leave her?"
I shook my head slowly, " No. I don't. I'm not worth ruining a family for. "
###############
Brian POV
I stood outside Megan's hotel room door, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.
I was nervous, and scared, and unsure, but I had to do it.
I raised a shaky arm an knocked on the door.
I could hear the tv on inside, and waited.
The door swung open to show Meg's crazy redhead friend, looking confused.
" Brian? Wha- Uhm, Meggy? It's for you!" She yelled, then walked off.
There were soft footsteps and Meg's beautiful blue eyes we staring up at me as she came around the corner.
" Bri? What are you doing her-"
"Can we talk?" I cut her off.
She hesitated, nodding, and sighed, looking down.
" one minute" she shut the door, and I leaned against the wall, waiting.
About a minute later, the door opened, and Meg walked out in some tennis shoes and a hoodie, hands in her pockets.
" Do you wanna walk somewhere?" She suggested.
I nodded, clearing my throat, " Yeah let's go to the park"
We walked in a comfortable silence down the stairs and out the lobby doors, onto the sidewalk.
" Lindsay's going back to Texas in the morning" she stated casually.
I nodded, " Are you going to miss her?"
She smiled lightly in the fading light, "Yeah. Of course. She's my best friend. But she has her baby to think about now. She'll be busy. "
We made it to the park by then, and sat down on a bench under a tree with falling leaves.
" And ...does it make you sad?"
She looked over at me weirdly, " Does what?"
"the fact that...she's having a baby.. "
" And I can't?" She finished.
I nodded slowly, not wanting to tread on such a sensitive subject.
" A little" she shrugged, lighting up a cigarette, something I've noticed she's been doing more often. " It's more that I'm disappointed, in myself. Like maybe something's wrong with me, ya know? But then I realize, that everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for me, and maybe...sadly, being a mother just isn't part of it. " she spoke.
And I was again reminded about what a beautiful soul she had too.
After every possible horrible thing had happened to her, Megan still kept such a positive outlook on the world.
It's part of why I love her.
" Megan, I need to tell you something." I whispered.
She was silent, and I looked over to
See her staring off into the distance, the sunset behind her making her blonde hair glow, and she looked like an angel.
" We can't see each other anymore, right?" She asked.
I nodded, " Yeah. I'm sorry, Meg. I never wanted to hurt you. Never thought it would get this far. That I'd... fall in love with you. I messed up. I'm sorry. "
She shook her head, smiling.
" No, Brian. I have equal blame here. I was just as guilty. But we should have known it would never work out."
I opened my mouth to respond,but she continued.
" No. You have a family now, Bri. It's what's right. And as much as it hurt-" he voiced cracked and I saw her eyes gloss over, " As much as I love you, I can't let you ruin your family for me. "
I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry into me, letting a few drip down my face secretly.
" I'll always love you, okay?" I assured her.
She pulled away, wiping her face clean.
" Brian I'm leaving tomorrow with Lindsay. I'm going back to Texas. And I'm not coming back. "
I frowned, shaking my head, " No. No! You can't! I need you here, Meg. Even if its just as friends, please!" I begged.
The old me would have never begged. Syn Gates doesn't beg.
She stood, kissing my forehead.
" I'll be just a phone call away, alright? It'll be fine. But I have to go, I have to go pack."
I sighed, standing as well, and pulled her in for a hug.
And then I leaned down for one last kiss, capturing her lips in a sad, tearful goodbye.
An when she pulled away, she turned, holding her arms around herself as he walked back down the path.
Out of my life for good.
I sat on my bed with Lindsay painting my toenails some shade of dark purple.
I picked up my phone and checked the time.
November 16,2009
6:34 pm
I sighed, setting in down on the night stand and look down at her bright red hair.
" Linds?" I called nervously.
She looked up, raising an eyebrow.
" Yeah?"
" Do you- Do you think it's stupid of me, to hope that Brian will leave his family for me? "
Lindsay sat up, startled.
" Meg, what are you saying?"
I paused a moment, " I'm saying- that, as much as I love him, as much as need him, he has a family. A family I could never give him. Maybe it would be best if...I just left. And made things easier?"
Lindsay stared at me, mouth agape.
" Megan Adelaide Carter! Are you telling me that after all of this, after all of the obstacles yall had to overcome together, you're giving up?"
I shrugged, playing with the hem of my shirt.
" Meg, do you want him to leave her?"
I shook my head slowly, " No. I don't. I'm not worth ruining a family for. "
###############
Brian POV
I stood outside Megan's hotel room door, taking deep breaths to calm myself down.
I was nervous, and scared, and unsure, but I had to do it.
I raised a shaky arm an knocked on the door.
I could hear the tv on inside, and waited.
The door swung open to show Meg's crazy redhead friend, looking confused.
" Brian? Wha- Uhm, Meggy? It's for you!" She yelled, then walked off.
There were soft footsteps and Meg's beautiful blue eyes we staring up at me as she came around the corner.
" Bri? What are you doing her-"
"Can we talk?" I cut her off.
She hesitated, nodding, and sighed, looking down.
" one minute" she shut the door, and I leaned against the wall, waiting.
About a minute later, the door opened, and Meg walked out in some tennis shoes and a hoodie, hands in her pockets.
" Do you wanna walk somewhere?" She suggested.
I nodded, clearing my throat, " Yeah let's go to the park"
We walked in a comfortable silence down the stairs and out the lobby doors, onto the sidewalk.
" Lindsay's going back to Texas in the morning" she stated casually.
I nodded, " Are you going to miss her?"
She smiled lightly in the fading light, "Yeah. Of course. She's my best friend. But she has her baby to think about now. She'll be busy. "
We made it to the park by then, and sat down on a bench under a tree with falling leaves.
" And ...does it make you sad?"
She looked over at me weirdly, " Does what?"
"the fact that...she's having a baby.. "
" And I can't?" She finished.
I nodded slowly, not wanting to tread on such a sensitive subject.
" A little" she shrugged, lighting up a cigarette, something I've noticed she's been doing more often. " It's more that I'm disappointed, in myself. Like maybe something's wrong with me, ya know? But then I realize, that everything happens for a reason. God has a plan for me, and maybe...sadly, being a mother just isn't part of it. " she spoke.
And I was again reminded about what a beautiful soul she had too.
After every possible horrible thing had happened to her, Megan still kept such a positive outlook on the world.
It's part of why I love her.
" Megan, I need to tell you something." I whispered.
She was silent, and I looked over to
See her staring off into the distance, the sunset behind her making her blonde hair glow, and she looked like an angel.
" We can't see each other anymore, right?" She asked.
I nodded, " Yeah. I'm sorry, Meg. I never wanted to hurt you. Never thought it would get this far. That I'd... fall in love with you. I messed up. I'm sorry. "
She shook her head, smiling.
" No, Brian. I have equal blame here. I was just as guilty. But we should have known it would never work out."
I opened my mouth to respond,but she continued.
" No. You have a family now, Bri. It's what's right. And as much as it hurt-" he voiced cracked and I saw her eyes gloss over, " As much as I love you, I can't let you ruin your family for me. "
I wrapped my arms around her and let her cry into me, letting a few drip down my face secretly.
" I'll always love you, okay?" I assured her.
She pulled away, wiping her face clean.
" Brian I'm leaving tomorrow with Lindsay. I'm going back to Texas. And I'm not coming back. "
I frowned, shaking my head, " No. No! You can't! I need you here, Meg. Even if its just as friends, please!" I begged.
The old me would have never begged. Syn Gates doesn't beg.
She stood, kissing my forehead.
" I'll be just a phone call away, alright? It'll be fine. But I have to go, I have to go pack."
I sighed, standing as well, and pulled her in for a hug.
And then I leaned down for one last kiss, capturing her lips in a sad, tearful goodbye.
An when she pulled away, she turned, holding her arms around herself as he walked back down the path.
Out of my life for good.
♠ ♠ ♠
More to come soon!