If It Means a Lot to You

“Ready for your first show from backstage?” Neil said as he lead me and Rachel to the venue that night. Rachel and I exchanged a glance, grinning.

“Fuck yeah,” I responded. “Too bad we aren’t going to be out there for the mosh pits.”

“More like too bad you won’t be out there for the pits,” Rachel corrected. “You know I avoid those things like the plague.”

“Well you gotta live a little.”

“I would’ve never pegged you as the one to say that,” Neil laughed. I shrugged.

“Now you know something you didn’t expect.” We entered the venue. Neil continued down a hall before turning into a room. The rest of the guys were in there. Alex was busy tapping out beats on a small coffee table; Kevin was relaxing on a couch while Jeremy paced back and forth, singing. I took a seat as I watched Jeremy.

“Enjoying the view?” Kevin teased when he noticed me staring at the singer. I glared at him as a light blush covered my face. I jumped when Jeremy abruptly let out a deep growl.

“Aren’t you used to that from the concerts you’ve been to and the Cds you’ve listened to?” Alex laughed, having seen me jump.

“Not when it’s sudden like that,” I said.

“Well he does stuff out of no where when he’s warming up to help him with those sudden changes in some songs from singing to screaming.” A few minutes later Jeremy came over and took a seat next to me.

“Scared you, did I?” he joked, nudging me playfully with his elbow. I rolled my eyes.

“It was a little jump because I was surprised. I wasn’t scared,” I argued.

“You’re on in ten, guys,” a guy said, sticking his head into the dressing room.

“Let’s go, guys,” Josh said as he stood up. Everyone filed out. Rachel flashed me a smile from her spot besides Neil. I knew she was just as excited as I was. Concerts were the one of the things that got us pumped up and moving. Rachel and I stood to the side as the guys went on stage and took their positions. The crowd was screaming at the top of their lungs. A chant of ‘ADTR’ started.

The banner dropped as Sticks and Bricks started. I looked out to the crowd in time to see a pit open up.

“Where were you when my walls came falling down?” Rachel and I sang along. Just like when we saw them back in California a little over a month ago, I sang along with every song, letting the music take over.

“All right, guys. So this song goes out to everyone out here tonight. This song is about music making everything better no matter the circumstances, about looking forward to these nights at concerts, singing at the top of your lungs and realizing ‘This is where I belong.’ This song goes out to those who feel lost and find themselves at concerts and through music,” Jeremy told the crowd. The guys started to play This Is The House That Doubt Built. The crowd started along louder than before, nearly drowning out Jeremy’s voice. “Good night! You guys were awesome!” Jeremy said before walking off stage.

“And now time for the encore,” Kevin sighed as he swapped out his electric guitar for an acoustic.

“Good luck,” I told Jeremy as he grabbed an acoustic himself. He flashed me a smile before following Kevin back out.

“Enjoy the view from back here?” Neil asked Rachel. She nodded, smiling before kissing him.

“A nice view of our asses,” Josh chipped in with a snicker.

“Oh yeah. Sexy ass you got there, Josh,” I joked as I winked at him. He laughed, shaking his head. I turned my attention back to the stage where Jeremy and Kevin were getting to the chorus of If It Means A Lot To You. As he got to the part where the girl usually sings, Jeremy looked over at me, grinning as he continued singing and playing. I returned his smile, butterflies erupting in my stomach the moment his brown eyes met mine and the smile came across his lips.

“Someone’s flirting,” Rachel teased when she saw the exchange. I threw her a glare.

“And when he’s out on stage too!” Alex gasped. “You two have no shame do you?” I blushed.

“I am not flirting!” I argued.

“Yeah and I’m a sexy stripper named Lola,” Neil said sarcastically.

“That would explain so much,” Rachel giggled. He glared at her, causing her to laugh more.

“And there’s our cue,” Josh said, walking out. Alex followed him out, taking his spot behind his drum set.

“La, la la la, la la la,” I sang under my breath. They finished off the song before bidding good night once more and heading off stage.

“I don’t know about you guys but I’m ready to get some sleep,” Jeremy yawned. He started towards the exit with the rest of us following behind. Once on the bus, I went to change into a pair of basketball shorts I had packed.

“There’s a pillow and a blanket for you,” Kevin told me, pointing to the couch.

“Thanks,” I said as he slipped past me.

“You sure you don’t want the bunk?” Jeremy offered. I shook my head and he shrugged. “All right. Suit yourself.”

“Night, stubborn,” Rachel chimed as she walked past me. I said my good night as she disappeared behind the curtain. I settled down on the couch before closing my eyes and going to sleep.

***

“Ow!” I said when my head connected with something hard. I looked around and saw a wall to my right and a drawn curtain to my right. I looked down and saw a mattress under me. “Of course,” I muttered darkly. I climbed out of the bunk and started towards the front lounge. Sure enough, Jeremy was sleeping soundly on the couch. “Jeremy, wake up,” I said, shaking him slightly. “Jeremy. Jeremy. Jer!” He woke up with a start.

“Huh? Wha?” he said, looking around groggily. His sleepy brown eyes landed on me. “Oh, Rose. What are you doing up?”

“Because I want to know why I woke up in a bunk.” He looked at me with one eye as he rubbed the other.

“I knew you wouldn’t take it so I figured I’d move you onto it when you were sleeping.” He stretched, letting out a yawn. “I thought you almost woke up too.”

“Why’s that?”

“I bumped your foot against the wall when I was walking back there and you made a face. You moved a little and wrapped your arms around my neck.”

“Well I’m not a very light sleeper so you have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh and you said something in your sleep.” I froze.

“What’d I say?”

“I don’t know. You mumbled some words and said my name.” I felt a blush spread across my face.

“Yeah, well, I was sleeping so I don’t know what I said.” I sat down on the couch across from him. Jeremy was looking at me thoughtfully. “What?” I demanded.

“Nothing. Just thinking,” he replied as he laid back down and pulled the blanket over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go back to sleep.” I nodded, stifling a sigh. His chest was soon rising and falling slowly, signaling he was asleep.

Good thing you didn’t understand what I said.