Status: Active
If It Means a Lot to You
California
“This is taking forever!” Neil whined, laying down on the stage floor. The guys had been doing sound check for the past hour and a half.
“Why can’t we be done?” Kevin cried as he mimicked Neil’s actions.
“Because you guys are babies,” Alex answered, laying down with his feet meeting the top of Kevin’s head.
“You guys are so impatient,” Rachel chided. She and I were sitting together on a guitar amp. “You guys should be used to this.”
“Yeah but that doesn’t mean we like it,” Josh shrugged as he sat down on the drum platform.
“This is it! You can take it or leave! Will you run? I will stand up on my own two feet! Just breathe!” Jeremy screamed into the microphone.
“Try some clean vocals!” someone shouted.
“Don’t blink, they won’t even miss you at all. Don’t think, that I’ll always be gone. You know I’ve got you like a puppet in the palm of my hand. Don’t you let me down!”
“Neil, you’re up.” Groaning, Neil stood up and went over to his microphone. Jeremy came over and sat next to me.
“We just gotta practice a few more songs and then we’re done. I bet you girls are bored,” Jeremy added with a chuckle.
“Shhh. We’re just not saying anything,” I shushed. He laughed.
“I’ll say it. I’m bored!” Rachel announced. I smacked her arm. “Hey! I was just announcing my current mood!”
“They’re working so we have to be bored.” She muttered something under her breath, rubbing her arm. A few minutes later Neil laid back down and Kevin was standing up. After Josh and Alex did their own, all of the guys stood up to go through a couple of songs.
“Let’s go through Mr. Highway, Monument, and You Be Tails,” Jeremy said, looking around at the other guys.”
“I think it’d be better if we moved,” I told Rachel as the intro to Mr. Highway’s Thinking About The End started. We jumped off the amps and scurried off to the side of the stage, taking a seat on the edge of stage instead. After running through Monument and You Be Tails, I’ll Be Sonic, the guys were finally done. “I’ll be back,” I said when I felt my phone ring as the guys started getting ready to leave the stage. “Hello?” I answered.
Rose, this is Alex.
My eyes widened at the sound of my brother’s voice.
“What do you want?” I snarled.
Mom passed away last night.
“What are you trying to say?”
That you should come back to California for her funeral.
I was about to retort when I realized he said to go back to California.
“Wait, how do you know I’m not in California?”
There’s pictures of you with your new boyfriend. The whole family knows about what you’re up to now.
“All right but I’m not coming back to California for Mom’s funeral.”
She’s your mother. Why wouldn’t you?
He sounded incredulous.
“She kicked me out of the fucking house when I was fucking sixteen!” I yelled. “She never raised me! I raised myself! I have no fucking reason to go back to pay the respects that woman does not deserve!”
So you think you’re better than mom now because you have a famous boyfriend and you sang on stage with your favorite band?
“Jeremy and the guys have nothing to do with this, Alex,” I snapped. “You know how I feel about Mom so why the fuck would you ask me to fly out for her funeral?”
Maybe because I thought you would be mature about this!
“I don’t give a fuck about maturity when it comes to Mom. Nothing and no one will get me to go give her respect. I might’ve come out for the wake and the viewing but I wouldn’t have given a eulogy to praise the woman she wasn’t.”
Fucking a, Rose. Just come!
“Fuck you, Alex!” I shut my phone, fighting the urge to throw it. “How long have you been there?” I asked, my eyes trained on the ground.
“When you started ranting about your mom,” Jeremy quietly answered. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. His deep, familiar voice soothed me right now.
“I’m sorry you had to hear me like that.”
“Everyone gets angry, it’s no big deal.” There was a moment of silence. I turned around and looked at him. He held his arms out in invitation. I smiled weakly before walking into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. I buried my face into his shirt, my hands grabbing some of the fabric.
“She was never really there for me,” I murmured. “She never praised anything good I did. It was always about Alex and Alyssa. But she did try to make into someone I wasn’t. She treated me shittier as she realized I wasn’t going to listen.”
“Well I’m glad you didn’t listen to her. You wouldn’t be the amazing girl you are today.” I smiled a little. We stayed like that for a few moments. “Feeling better?” he asked. I nodded as I started to pull away. “Let’s head back to the bus with everyone else.” Jeremy took my hand in his and started leading the way to the bus.
“What happened?” Rachel demanded when she saw my unusually solemn face.
“Nothing. I’ll tell you tomorrow,” I promised, knowing there wouldn’t be any time tonight to tell her. She eyed me for a moment before nodding. I sighed before sitting down next to Alex, determined to keep my mind off of this.
“Why can’t we be done?” Kevin cried as he mimicked Neil’s actions.
“Because you guys are babies,” Alex answered, laying down with his feet meeting the top of Kevin’s head.
“You guys are so impatient,” Rachel chided. She and I were sitting together on a guitar amp. “You guys should be used to this.”
“Yeah but that doesn’t mean we like it,” Josh shrugged as he sat down on the drum platform.
“This is it! You can take it or leave! Will you run? I will stand up on my own two feet! Just breathe!” Jeremy screamed into the microphone.
“Try some clean vocals!” someone shouted.
“Don’t blink, they won’t even miss you at all. Don’t think, that I’ll always be gone. You know I’ve got you like a puppet in the palm of my hand. Don’t you let me down!”
“Neil, you’re up.” Groaning, Neil stood up and went over to his microphone. Jeremy came over and sat next to me.
“We just gotta practice a few more songs and then we’re done. I bet you girls are bored,” Jeremy added with a chuckle.
“Shhh. We’re just not saying anything,” I shushed. He laughed.
“I’ll say it. I’m bored!” Rachel announced. I smacked her arm. “Hey! I was just announcing my current mood!”
“They’re working so we have to be bored.” She muttered something under her breath, rubbing her arm. A few minutes later Neil laid back down and Kevin was standing up. After Josh and Alex did their own, all of the guys stood up to go through a couple of songs.
“Let’s go through Mr. Highway, Monument, and You Be Tails,” Jeremy said, looking around at the other guys.”
“I think it’d be better if we moved,” I told Rachel as the intro to Mr. Highway’s Thinking About The End started. We jumped off the amps and scurried off to the side of the stage, taking a seat on the edge of stage instead. After running through Monument and You Be Tails, I’ll Be Sonic, the guys were finally done. “I’ll be back,” I said when I felt my phone ring as the guys started getting ready to leave the stage. “Hello?” I answered.
Rose, this is Alex.
My eyes widened at the sound of my brother’s voice.
“What do you want?” I snarled.
Mom passed away last night.
“What are you trying to say?”
That you should come back to California for her funeral.
I was about to retort when I realized he said to go back to California.
“Wait, how do you know I’m not in California?”
There’s pictures of you with your new boyfriend. The whole family knows about what you’re up to now.
“All right but I’m not coming back to California for Mom’s funeral.”
She’s your mother. Why wouldn’t you?
He sounded incredulous.
“She kicked me out of the fucking house when I was fucking sixteen!” I yelled. “She never raised me! I raised myself! I have no fucking reason to go back to pay the respects that woman does not deserve!”
So you think you’re better than mom now because you have a famous boyfriend and you sang on stage with your favorite band?
“Jeremy and the guys have nothing to do with this, Alex,” I snapped. “You know how I feel about Mom so why the fuck would you ask me to fly out for her funeral?”
Maybe because I thought you would be mature about this!
“I don’t give a fuck about maturity when it comes to Mom. Nothing and no one will get me to go give her respect. I might’ve come out for the wake and the viewing but I wouldn’t have given a eulogy to praise the woman she wasn’t.”
Fucking a, Rose. Just come!
“Fuck you, Alex!” I shut my phone, fighting the urge to throw it. “How long have you been there?” I asked, my eyes trained on the ground.
“When you started ranting about your mom,” Jeremy quietly answered. I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath. His deep, familiar voice soothed me right now.
“I’m sorry you had to hear me like that.”
“Everyone gets angry, it’s no big deal.” There was a moment of silence. I turned around and looked at him. He held his arms out in invitation. I smiled weakly before walking into his arms. He wrapped his arms tightly around my waist. I buried my face into his shirt, my hands grabbing some of the fabric.
“She was never really there for me,” I murmured. “She never praised anything good I did. It was always about Alex and Alyssa. But she did try to make into someone I wasn’t. She treated me shittier as she realized I wasn’t going to listen.”
“Well I’m glad you didn’t listen to her. You wouldn’t be the amazing girl you are today.” I smiled a little. We stayed like that for a few moments. “Feeling better?” he asked. I nodded as I started to pull away. “Let’s head back to the bus with everyone else.” Jeremy took my hand in his and started leading the way to the bus.
“What happened?” Rachel demanded when she saw my unusually solemn face.
“Nothing. I’ll tell you tomorrow,” I promised, knowing there wouldn’t be any time tonight to tell her. She eyed me for a moment before nodding. I sighed before sitting down next to Alex, determined to keep my mind off of this.