If It Means a Lot to You

Rose’s POV:
“I don’t get why I’m doing this,” I fretted, my leg jumping up and down nervously. The guys, Rachel, and I were on the plane, waiting to take for California. Jeremy put a hand on my knee. My leg stopped bouncing on contact and I looked at him.

“You’ll be fine,” Jeremy assured. “You have us and Rachel. We’ll stick with you and see you through.” I smiled.

“Relax, Rose. Everything’s gonna be fine,” Josh said. He placed a Hostess Cupcake on my lap. “Here. Food makes everything better.” I laughed.

“Fat ass,” Alex teased. Josh smacked him in the back of the head. “Ow! Jerk!”

“It’s what you get,” Josh retorted.

“Now, now, girls. Don’t go fighting in public,” Kevin shushed.

“Shut up!” Alex and Josh said in return.

“Well fine then, jerks.” He crossed his arms and pretended to pout.

“Oh be a big boy, Kev,” Rachel told him. “If you are, I’ll buy some ice cream or In-N-Out. Your choice, my treat.”

“Why does he get a treat and I don’t?” Neil demanded, pouting himself as Kevin did a little dance.

“You can get In-N-Out too, okay?” He grinned in victory.

“Are you gonna ask for something too?” I asked Jeremy, looking up at him.

“Nah. I’m fine with just having you,” he replied, putting an arm around my shoulders. I smiled, kissing his cheek. After a few more minutes, the plane finally took off. I sighed as I leaned back. Jeremy gave my shoulder a small squeeze. I laid my head on his shoulder before closing my eyes to sleep away the short flight.

“It feels weird staying in a hotel when we have a home here,” Rachel commented. She and I were in a room together right now. It was a few hours after we had landed and checked into our hotel. The guys went to get some food while she and I stayed back at the hotel.

“It does,” I agreed. “So what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” She played with a loose string on the comforter. “Rach, you’re avoiding it.”

“Neil told me he loved me,” she blurted out. My eyes widened and I nearly fell off of the bed in shock.

“What?” I looked at her, my eyes still wide. “When? How?”

“The other night when I called Alex. I was trying to make me feel better because I was mad after the call and he told me and yeah.” I squealed, jumping up and down a little.

“I’m so happy for you, Rach!” I stopped mid-jump, hit with a realization. “You know this means we have to move now, right? I mean, I don’t want to keep you from being with Neil when you guys know you love each other,” I told her.

“I know. But it’s not like only I have a reason to move to Florida. You have Jeremy and we both have Josh, Alex, and Kevin,” she reasoned.

“But Jeremy hasn’t told me he loves me.”

“But everyone knows he does. Neil said that Jeremy has never looked happier.”

“Does Neil tell you everything?”

“Well when you’re laying in a bunk together and neither of you are sleepy despite one of you was just running around for an hour and a half, you talk about random stuff.” I shrugged, adjusting Jeremy’s hoodie that I had stolen. We were both in our pajamas, hence why we had refused to go get food with the guys.

“I just know that I don’t think that I’m ready to say it.” Rachel raised an eyebrow. “I’m still a little messed up after Luke and you know that.”

“But I thought Jeremy…” Her voice trailed off in confusion.

“Rachel, you cannot tell me you’re completely over the first guy you ever loved. Plus I gave him three years of my life. Those memories don’t just go away.” I leaned back, resting on my elbows “I know I love Jeremy. I don’t think I’m ready to tell him. I’m sure if he tells me and I don’t say it back he’ll understand. He knows I care about him a lot.” Rachel and I froze when we heard the door start to open.

“Well you two don’t look suspicious at all,” Neil joked as he kissed Rachel’s cheek.

“You guys just interrupted a very serious conversation so,” she told him.

“Hey,” I greeted Jeremy, kissing him. He smiled in return. I frowned when I saw the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “What’s wrong?” I asked, dropping my voice.

“Nothing. Everything’s fine,” he said. I knew he was lying but I didn’t ask him again. Kevin distributed the In-N-Out burgers and fries to their owners before we settled down to eat.

About two hours later, I was with Jeremy in our room. We were laying in bed, one of his arms holding me to him. I brushed a finger along his jaw line.

“What was bugging you back when we were eating?” I inquired.

“It was nothing, Rose. Don’t worry about it,” he answered after a moment. I sat up, getting out of his hold.

“You’re lying.” He sat up with a sigh. “What’s wrong?” He rubbed his face with a his hands, letting out yet another tired sigh.

“I heard what you were telling Rachel.” My eyes widened. “Yeah, I heard. I came ahead of the other guys and I heard you guys talking. I didn’t want to interrupt. Then I heard Rachel mention me so I stopped from walking away.” Jeremy paused for a moment, looking down at his hands. “I heard you say you weren’t completely over Luke yet and that you don’t want to say you love me yet.” He looked at me. “Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t over Luke yet?” I reached towards him with a hand. When he pulled away a little, I let it drop back onto my lap.

“I didn’t tell you because he’s a part of my life I don’t want affecting my current life. Yes, I’m not over him, but that doesn’t mean I still love him. Like I told Rachel, you can’t tell me you’re completely over the first person you loved. They were your first love. Things aren’t the same after them.” Jeremy’s brown eyes studied me for a moment. He leaned over and placed a sweet kiss on my lips. I took that as a sign of forgiveness.

“I’m sorry I doubted you,” he apologized. “I just… I just didn’t want to learn that the girl I’ve given my heart to is in love with her ex.” I smiled before kissing him again.

“You have nothing to worry about,” I assured. We laid back down together, his arm pulling me close again. “Night, Jer.”

“Night, Rose.”