If It Means a Lot to You

“Thanks so much for a fun time,” Josh said as he hugged me. It was Monday morning and the guys were getting ready to head out to start their tour again.

“You girls are awesome for taking us in,” Alex added, hugging me once Josh let go of me. I smiled as I went to hug Kevin.

“Thanks for letting us show you guys around,” I told them.

“Oh please. You and Rachel are more to thank. You guys weren’t all fan girl on us the entire time like most others probably would’ve been,” Neil said, hugging me.

“We’ll be seeing you around, of course. We’ll be looking for you girls whenever we come,” Kevin chipped in, chuckling a little. I laughed a little.

“We’ll be at your shows without a doubt,” I promised. I glanced over at Jeremy who hadn’t said a word. He was off to the side, just watching the farewells. I looked back at everyone else; Josh, Alex, and Kevin had started towards the bus; Neil and Rachel were saying their own good-bye. I took a step towards Jeremy. He looked down at me and I returned his gaze. “Well this is it,” I quietly said. He smiled wryly.

“You make it sound like we’ll never see each other again,” he muttered as he pulled me into a tight hug. I took in a deep breath, breathing in his comforting scent.

“It’ll be a long time before we see each other again.”

“Maybe it won’t.”

“What are you talking about?” I pulled back when I felt Jeremy pulling away.

“Why don’t you and Rachel come on tour with us? There’s room for you guys and everyone would be happy that you girls are coming along.” I shook my head as he talked. “Why not, Rose?”

“The fact that we’d have to say good-bye all over again. You guys would be going home to Florida and we’d be coming back here to California.” He opened his mouth to argue but I placed a finger on his lips. “No, Jeremy, we can’t,” I repeated. “I may have only known you for a week but I already care enough that it would be terrible to have to say good bye for a second time in a short amount of time.” Jeremy sighed, pulling me into another hug.

“I’m gonna miss you, Rose.”

“I’ll miss you too.” I stretched up onto my toes to place a soft kiss on his cheek. I pulled out of his hug. I waved to him as he turned and started walking to the bus. A moment later Rachel joined me after finally having had pulled away from Neil. She was wiping tears away.

“God I hate this,” she muttered. I nodded in agreement as I watched the bus drive away.

“What’s going to happen between you and Neil?” I asked her.

“We’re going to make it work.” I looked at her for a moment but I didn’t say anything. “I told him I’d decide by the end of their tour whether or not I was moving to Florida.”

“And you are.”

“I am. I’ll be with him and I’ll be closer to my family.”

“I’m going with you,” I said after a moment. I felt Rachel’s eyes on me.

“But you’ve been here your whole life,” she tried to argue. I shook my head.

“I may have but you’re pretty much the only person I have here. I’ll move to Florida with you so that you have someone besides Neil. Plus I couldn’t let my best friend move across the country by herself. And it’d be hard to kick Neil’s ass from over here if he did anything to you.” Rachel laughed.

“You would say that.” She smiled when she stopped laughing. “But you really are beyond amazing if you’re willing to move with me across the country because I’ve fallen for a boy.” I shrugged.

“Come on. Let’s go inside and watch a movie or something.”

I was laying on my bed later that night, watching TV. I was flicking through the channels, trying to decide what to watch. I grabbed some M&Ms from the bowl and threw them in my mouth. All I Want started to play. I reached for my phone.

“Hello?” I answered, my mouth full of M&Ms.

“Bad time to call?” Jeremy’s familiar husky voice laughed.

“Jeremy!” I nearly knocked over the bowl full of chocolate when I jumped in surprise. I coughed a little in my haste to swallow the chocolate. He continued laughing.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah, um, just choking on my M&Ms.” He chuckled again. “So why the call?”

“Am I not allowed to call you because I want to?”

“You are. It’s just random is all.”

“Well I just wanted to call you so I did. Got a problem with that?”

“Maybe I do, maybe I don’t. You’ll never know.” There was a moment of silence. I let out a small sigh. “So what are you up to?” I asked.

“Nothing much. Sitting in the back lounge, trying to decide if I should play on Xbox, and talking to you. What about you?”

“Sitting on my bed, watching TV, eating M&Ms, and drinking.”

“Drinking?” I could hear the surprise and slight disapproval in his voice.

“Soda. Not alcohol of any sort. I’m not a drinker. This girl is straightedge.”

“You too?”

“Mhm. I’m not much of a fan of drinking even when my friends are doing it.”

“I don’t really care if my friends do it as long as they don’t over do it. If they do over do it, then I say something.” I heard someone in the background. “Hold on a second.” I listened to Jeremy’s muffled voice talk to someone. “I gotta go, Rose,” he said after a moment. “I’ll text you in the morning, all right?”

“All right. Night.”

“Night.” I shut my phone, letting out a heavy sigh. My heart felt heavy with the sudden longing I felt to be with Jeremy. I shook my head.

It was just a fan girl crush. There weren’t any actual feelings.