Pride

When Monday finally arrives I make sure to wake up earlier than usual. I’ve already told mom that I’m going over to Kai’s so we can talk. Once I’m up, I change into the school uniform and head out onto the balcony. The morning air is cool and wet, it wakes me up quickly.

I hop over to Kai’s balcony and it’s no surprise that his curtains are closed. I grab the handle to the balcony door, slowly and quietly opening it. Kai’s room is spotless compared to my own. A bed rests to the left against the wall, the comforter and sheets all black. Beside the bed is his desk, covered in papers, which I’m assuming all pertain to school. To the right is his TV on top of a large stand full of books and he has a dresser just next to his door. The only things on his floor are books since he doesn’t have enough room on his book shelves.

As expected, Kai is still asleep so I slide the door shut, making sure not to wake him as I tip toe to his bedside. Before Kai has time to realize I’m here or wake up, I grin and jump, landing on top of him. I laugh while he lets out a girlish scream and the both of us wrestle on his bed before toppling off in a tangle of limbs and sheets.

“S-Shiloh?” Kai squeaks, staring up at me with a surprised expression. He squirms and tries to get out from under me but I sit on his stomach and pin him to the spot. “W-What are you…”

“Listen, you big oaf! I didn’t mean what I said Friday and you know it so stop acting like such a girl and talk to me already. Besides, it’s not bad to have more than one friend. You don’t have to hide it from me.”

Kai flushes and attempts to pull the sheets up to hide his face. Rolling my eyes, I get up off him and start walking around his room, digging through his clothes to try and find his uniform.

“S-Sorry Shiloh…I didn’t mean t-to yell the other day,” Kai says quietly. “You aren’t mad?”

“Of course I’m mad! Jackass. Being mad won’t solve shit though so just stop being a baby and get ready for school.” I toss his uniform at him and grin. He’s flushing a bright red but manages to send me a smile. While he’s getting dressed, I walk out into the kitchen to find his dad at the table reading the newspaper and his mother setting up breakfast for four.

“I heard you,” she answers me before I even have time to think of a question. “So I made breakfast for four.”

“Why thank you, second mother of mine,” I laugh, sitting across from her at the table. “You always manage to make a better breakfast than my mom.”

“Oh now don’t say that. Your mother has a way of finding out everything, she may get jealous.”

The three of us laugh and talk together until Kai arrives. He shyly sits beside me and eats his breakfast. Once finished, the two of us say goodbye to his parents and head for school. The day goes by like it usually does. Things don’t change until Kai and I start heading home.

Like last time, it starts with a phone call. Kai shakes slightly when he answers it. “H-Hello?”

I’m silently walking beside him, trying my best to listen in on the conversation. Hey! I should be allowed to know who it is he’s talking to. What if it really is a girlfriend? I just can’t see that though. There must be another reason. Maybe it’s someone to help him with looking for school? No…he would tell me if it was something so simple.

“Um…S-Shiloh, do you care walking the rest of the way h-home by yourself?” Kai asks, holding the phone against his shoulder. I stare at him with a blank expression because I really don’t know what to think or how to feel. He’s not telling me who he’s talking to and now he isn’t walking home with me. What is going on?

I push those thoughts aside though and scoff, “I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m not a girl. Go do whatever.”

Kai nods and silently turns to walk back the way we came. He’s still talking happily on the phone as he’s walking away and there’s something about his voice that makes me grit my teeth in anger. The normal stutter he has is hardly there and the smile on his face makes me sick. There’s a light dusting of pink on his cheeks and I don’t even realize how hard I’m glaring at the boy until he has turned the street corner, disappearing from my view.

There’s a sudden pain that appears in the palms of my hands. Something warm and wet trickles down my fingers so I hold them up to examine what it is. Red. I had been gripping my fists so hard that my nails had somehow managed to create moon shaped cuts on my palms. Why? Why do I feel so…mad?

“Welcome back hon-” The sound of the door slamming shut cuts my mother’s voice off. I hadn't meant to slam it so hard but I did. Shania is staring up at me from her seat on the couch next to mom. She seemed shocked by the sudden action too. I just feel incredibly angry and maybe there’s a bit of pain from betrayal in there…I don’t really know.

“Is something wrong?” Mom asks, standing up from the couch where she had been sitting.

“No…nothing.” There is no way I’m saying anything to her. Knowing mom, she’ll get some strange idea and say something that’ll make me want to shove needles down my throat. Besides…there’s nothing to really talk about. What am I supposed to say? Oh, I’m just angry because Kai is…is…

…is what? I don’t even know. He is keeping a secret from me, that much is obvious. He’s talking to someone and not telling me who it is or what they’re talking about. I guess…truthfully though, he doesn’t have to. Just because we’re best friends doesn’t mean I need to know everything about the kid. If he has a girlfriend…or whatever…he doesn’t need to tell me. His personal life really is none of my business.

But damn it, it’d be nice to know! I mean, come on, anyone would be curious if they were me. Kai and I have always been together, always. I guess you could say we were like girls. We told each other everything, no matter how embarrassing or stupid it may be. Secrets didn’t exist between us and I never thought they would. It’s only natural for me to wonder who he’s talking to or what he’s up to.

I sigh and fall back onto the bed. I guess every friendship has its secrets.