The Last Goodbye

Bella's POV

I spotted Cameron and waved at him, making sure that he sees the bracelet on my right hand wrist. It meant that I still wanted to be his friend. I would always want that. I would always value our friendship. Then Jack turned around to see who I was looking at and saw Cameron. I noticed that he seemed to kind of glare at Cameron in a way like he was mad at him or something. What was going on between them? Then Jack turned around, kissed my forehead, slid his hand around my waist (which always made me get butterflies), and lead me to Spanish. I felt Cameron stare at us as we walked toward the class and I didn’t want to come off as I’m ditching him or anything. So I turned around and smiled at him. He saw and smiled and waved back.

When Jack and I finally got to Spanish class, we sat down in our seats and I looked at him, puzzled. But I couldn’t figure out what was up. His face gave away nothing. Whether he was mad, or sad, or even tired, I didn’t know because his face didn’t show a sign at all. The smile on his face made it seem like he was just a happy guy with no worries what so ever. But I know something’s wrong. Jack’s just very good at hiding his emotions.

The day went by like a blur. I ate lunch with Jack at McDonalds since seniors were allowed to go out to get lunch. This was a relief for me because I couldn’t face Cameron right now. Not after what happened last night. I mean I know that we’re still friends but it’s still awfully awkward and it pains me to know that I possibly might’ve broken his heart. He’s never even had a girlfriend and the one girl he likes is with someone else. I didn’t want to break Cameron’s heart. If this was in a book, I’d call the girl stupid for not seeing how much he likes her. But in reality, it’s so much harder to notice things happening around you when you’re focused on something else and it’s also much harder to choose between guys. Because how do you know which guy is right for you? How do you know that the one you choose won’t hurt you?

But the thing that I honestly don’t get is what Cameron and Jack sees in me. How is it possible for a girl like me to be torn between two guys who both like her? How is that possible? I mean I’m no one special. I’m cute like an average girl but not drop dead gorgeous. I’m not that funny. I don’t have many talents that are extraordinary except for maybe art…but still. It’s not like I’m a singer or actress or anything. So what do Jack and Cameron see in me? I didn’t know. I had no clue.

After lunch with Jack, we went back to school just in time as the bell rang for us to go to our next class.

Before I knew it, the last bell rang and the day was over. I walked to my locker and opened it. I started packing my backpack with my homework. Then Jack came by my locker.

“Hey babe.” He smiled at me and kissed my forehead.

I smiled back and said, “Hey you.”

“Wanna hang out after I’m done with football practice?” He reached up his hand to brush a strand of my hair away from my face.

I smiled again. “Yeah. You can come by my place!”

“Will do. Should I bring Chinese food, too?”

“Yes!” I loved Chinese food. Jack laughed at my enthusiasm and kissed me on the lips.

“See you soon then!” He kissed me on the lips again before he went to his football practice.

While I walked to my car, I realized two things. One, I was starving so Jack’s football practice better end fast. I was seriously starting to crave some Chinese food right now. Two, this was an opportunity to tell Jack about last night with Cameron. I started getting nervous now. What if he hates me afterwards and breaks up with me?

I sighed and opened my car. I get in, toss my backpack in the back and put the stick on reverse and started backing away from the parking space. I drove out of the parking lot and went home.

~~~~~~~~~

Two hours later, I sat on my bed, watching TV. Jack’s football practice had ended 20 minutes ago and I was waiting patiently for him and my Chinese food to arrive. I walked to the kitchen to get something to drink and that’s when my doorbell rang. I walked to the door and opened it to see Jack standing there, holding up a brown bag which I’m guessing had Chinese food inside.

“Delivery for a certain beautiful girl.” He smiled at me.

I gave him a huge smile and reached out to get the brown bag but he pulled away

“Oh no. I was talking about your mom.” He smirked and winked.

I laughed and stuck my tongue out at him. “Oh well, she’s not here so it looks like you’re gonna have to come back later. Bye!”

I started closing the door when Jack pushed it back open, gently. But I didn’t give in. Suddenly it became a game. I started to push it close with all my strength and Jack with one hand tried to push the door open. “Bella! Come on, open up!”

“Na uh.” I started laughing and a second later he started laughing, too. After a good minute of pushing the door open and close between us, he finally pushed it open with his one hand with all the strength he had and set down the food and closed the door. We were both still laughing. He grabbed me around my waist and kissed my neck. He smelled good. Fresh, clean, and like soap. He must’ve taken a shower before he got here.

“I forgot how feisty you were.”

I laughed. “Roarrr.”

Jack chuckled and kissed me on the lips. We kissed for a good moment and broke apart because my stomach started growling and interrupted our kissing.

Jack had an amused grin on his face. “Well, looks like my lioness is hungry.”

“That’s an understatement. I’m starving!”

“Oh no! I can’t let my girl starve now! Come on, let’s go eat!”

I laughed and kissed his cheek. “Go upstairs to my room, the door is wide open with the TV blaring so you’ll know it’s that one. I’ll bring up some plates, soda and stuff.”

“You do that.” He smiled at me and then started going up the stairs towards my room.

I went back to the kitchen and got some plates, forks, spoons, cups, and soda. I took it upstairs where Jack had already taken out all the food. I put all the things down and together we began to eat.

~~~~~~~~~

Three and a half hours later, Jack and I were watching a movie and cuddling and snuggling. We had finished eating the Chinese food and then did our homework. Then I suggested we watch a movie and here we are.

Jack wrapped his arms around me more tightly and I snuggled closer to him. He had pulled me into his lap and I had curled up, leaning against his chest.

From time to time, he looked down at me and kissed me, and I did the same to him. Each one of his kisses made me feel more and more guilty, though. The movie was ending and then Jack would be leaving soon. I had to tell him today. I shouldn’t wait too long to tell him or he’ll get even more upset.

The last 3 minutes of the movie ended and Jack stretched and yawned. He put his arms around me again and smiled at me. “Did you like the movie?”

I nodded. “Always love to watch romantic comedies…even though you could always tell what happens next.”

Jack nodded in agreement. He smiled and lifted me from his lap and gently laid me down on the bed. Then he plopped his left hand elbow on the pillow and hung his right hand over me. Then he leaned down and kissed me on the lips. Then he kissed my forehead, cheeks, nose, ears, and both sides of my neck. He kissed me on the lips again. This time, he kissed me for a long time very passionately. Then our lips parted and he murmured into my neck, “I love being with you.”

“I love being with you, too.” I ran my hands over his hair and stroked it. He looked down at me and smiled. And that was when I finally broke.

Out of nowhere, I started crying. Jack’s smile turned into a worried look. “Hey, hey. What’s wrong baby? Tell me.”

I cried even harder because that was what I had been planning this time! I never planned on crying. I looked at him, still crying. He stroked my cheeks and kissed my forehead

“It’s okay, Bella. It’s okay. Don’t cry sweetheart. It’s okay.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead again.

“J-jack, I-I need to t-tell you s-something,” I stammered. Tears were falling down and I couldn’t control it.

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now.”

“No! I-I n-need to t-tell you n-now! J-Jack, I –“

“You don’t need to tell me now, babe,” he said, interrupting me. I shook my head.

“B-but y-you n-need t-to know.”

He brushed the strands of my hair that were wet and sticking to my face, away.

“Later, okay? Let’s get you to calm down first.”

And I tried doing that. I wiped the tears away and blew my nose into a tissue that Jack handed me but the tears still came, pouring down. Finally, I realized that it wasn’t possible for me to calm down unless I told him. The guilt was eating me alive.

“Jack,” I started.

“Hm?”

“Jack, I-I kissed Cameron last night.

Silence. All you could hear were my sniffles

Then Jack finally said, softly, “I know.”

I looked at him, “What?”

He sighed, unwrapping his arms that were around me and put them in his lap. He looked at the ground as he said, “A friend of mine saw the two of you kissing and told me at like 11 pm last night.”

I didn’t know what to say. He knew all this time yet he didn’t show one sign that he might’ve been mad at me. I mean it showed that he was at Cameron but not at me. He was better at hiding his emotions than I thought.

“Jack, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have kissed him back, but at the same time I didn’t want to hurt him. You know he’s like my best friend and I don’t want to do anything to break his heart. He means a lot to me. But so do you. I didn’t realize what was happening when it happened. One minute, we were just dancing and the next he kissed me and I kissed him back. I guess I got caught up in the moment. I’m so sorry. I never ever would want to cheat on you on purpose. I swear.”

Jack was quiet the whole time I said this, looking down at his hands in his lap. I felt like crying again because not only was I hurting Cameron but I also hurt Jack. I just want to die right now.

“Jack, I really am sorry. I really like you. I have been for so long. I even yelled at Cameron after the kiss.”

Then Jack did something, surprising me. He chuckled, and softly said, “I know you did. My friends told me that you threw a fit and went berserk at Cameron. He said you were as red as a tomato and that everyone was watching you guys. But you guys didn’t notice the crowd.”

“Oh my god. Everyone was watching us? And I was as red as a tomato?”

Jack looked at me and smiled a bit. “Yeah. But you two were too busy fighting to notice,” he paused before softly saying, “and I love tomatoes.” I gave him a tiny smile.

“You’re acting strangely calm after finding out that your girlfriend kissed another boy.”

“I don’t want to be mad at you. Do you know how hard it is to stay mad at you? And it’s not like you kissed him first. Cameron made the move. And I guess you can say that I know what it’s like to get caught up in the moment. I’m just relieved that you told me. I thought you weren’t going to.”

I shook my head. “I felt too guilty. I had to tell you. It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t.”

“I’m glad you did, though. I would’ve exploded sooner or later at some point and told you that I knew and would’ve been really mad at you.

“So, do you hate me?” I asked him, softly.

He looked at me in the eyes and said, “I could never hate you.” It took me a moment to realize that Cameron had said the exact words to me last night in the car. Here were two special boys in my life, whom I both cared a lot about, who both liked me, who both I hurt, and who both could never hate me.

“Does that mean you forgive me?”

Jack stayed quiet. He ran his hand over his hair. Then he softly said, “I don’t know.”

He looked up and saw the hurt on my face. Then his face turned into a pained expression.

“I mean I know you didn’t exactly cheat on me, that it was just a kiss and you just got caught up in the moment but Bella, Cameron’s been always there for you. There’s something special inside of your heart just for him. I know he means a lot to you, but I don’t know how much is a lot.”

“Does it matter how much a lot might be?”

“Yes,” he said quietly.

I didn’t say anything. What was I suppose to say? I can’t deny that Cameron is special to me. I can’t lie and say that he wasn’t special to me at all. Because that is the worst thing I could possibly do.

“Do you have feelings for him?”

I look up, startled. “What?”

“Do you have feelings for him? And I mean in a more than a friend kind of way. Please just tell the truth.”

“I-I honestly don’t know.” Jack looked at me. “It’s the truth. I’m confused about my feelings for him. I have been ever since the kiss. In fact I’ve been confused with this whole situation.”

“Oh.”

Silence.

“He’s one lucky guy getting to be your best friend and all.”

“I’m one lucky girl to have him as a best friend and to be with a sweet guy like you.” Jack looks at me and smiles.

“Um, but you won’t punch or hurt Cameron, right?”

Jack chuckled. I stared at him. “I’m serious.”

Jack gave me an amused grin and said, “I won’t for your sake.”

I sighed and smiled. “Good.”

Jack sighed. Then he groaned and laid down on my bed. “I don’t know what to do Bella.”

“You don’t know what to do? I don’t know what to do! I’m hurting two boys who are both important to me at the same time!”

He sighed again. “I need to think about this. This whole situation. I don’t hate you or anything but I just need to think about this.” I nodded, understandingly.

“Until then, maybe we should take a break.” My heart stopped. He looked away from me and looked out my window.

“What?”

“Maybe it’ll work. Maybe if we take a break, you’ll figure out what you want and maybe I will, too.”

“How long will this be for?” I asked softly, my voice shaking with every word coming out of my mouth. I knew Jack had heard the hurt I was feeling.

“I don’t know,” he said softly.

“Okay.” I could feel tears forming in my eyes and threatening to fall. I looked away from Jack so that he wouldn’t see the tears. One slid from my eyes and onto my cheek.

“I guess I should get going.”

I simply nodded because I didn’t trust my own voice enough to say anything without me probably breaking down.

But Jack still stayed where he was. I could feel him staring at me. He knew that I was crying.
Then more tears started falling down and more and more. Before I knew it, I was crying with tears pouring down my cheeks. I hid my face in my hands. But Jack already saw. Heck, I was crying so hard, he could even hear me.

Jack moved over to me instantly and wrapped his arms around me, tightly. “Oh, Bella. I’m so sorry. I just thought maybe it would be for the best.”

I shook my head. “I-If that’s w-what y-you want, t-then I’ll agree to it.” I stammered.

“Of course, I don’t want this. You think I want to take a break from you? I couldn’t even focus all weekend on anything but you.”

I looked up at him and said, “Then please don’t do this.”

“It’s for the best though. To think things over.” He stroked my hair and kissed my forehead over and over again. I leaned against his chest, still crying, and then it started raining. Jack looked at the rain and then laid me down on the bed.

“I should get going, sweetheart.” He stroked my cheeks and kissed my forehead again. He started towards the door but I grabbed his hand.

“No, please don’t go. Please.”

Jack looked at my face and then at my hand holding on to his. Then he laid down next to me and said, “Alright. I’ll go home after you fall asleep. Okay?” he kissed my forehead, again.

I nodded. “Okay.”

Jack wrapped his arms around me again and I felt his warmth and affection spreading over me. I needed that right now. I held onto him and kept on crying.

Jack kept on wiping the tears away. I finally smacked his hand and told him to let me get it all out. He nodded and held me even more tightly.

I fell asleep thinking about how so much drama could’ve entered my life in such short time and why I hadn’t ever noticed Cameron having a crush on me all these years.