Camp Kill Yourself

JP's POV

"Ouch!"

"Shush, they're going to hear us!"

"Well, tell the British freak to stop stepping on my feet!"

"Hey! I'm not some--"

"Shut the fuck up, all of ya!"

I hissed, stopping in mid step causing Rhian to run into me and Bianca to run into her. There were more groans and complains -- I was going to slap that bitch silly if she didn't shut her mouth...

"Seriously, guys. We're almost there." Kassi tried to reason with them, but Bianca continued to complain. Finally having enough, I gently pushed Rhian out of my way and grabbed a hold of her jacket's collar, stuffing the thong I had in my hand in her mouth. She sputtered and squealed in anger.

"The fuck!" She took a swing at me, but I dunked (thank god. Wouldn't want another Kassi to happen) and grabbed her arm, twisting it behind her back. Kassi moved the flashlight in our direction, momentarily blinding the two of us.

"If you'd shut up, skank, we could already get this the fuck over with," I sternly told her, twisting her arm a little tighter. "If you say another word, I'm stripping you clean and covering you in honey for the bears." She went stock still at that.

"There are bears out here?"

I grinned, waiting to fuck with her head. "And mountain lions and wolves and--"

"Hurry up so we can get the fuck back to our cabin!" she exclaimed, taking off in the direction of The Dildos' cabin. I grinned and gave a small bow as Rhian dramatically, but silently, clapped her hands.

"Shall we?" I motioned for the boys' cabin before following after Bianca. Kassi and Rhian were right behind me, their own thongs hanging from their hand or pockets.

At the mess hall a good three or four hours earlier, we had come up with many plans of how to prank our opposing team (the Shooting Dildos). Steal their boxers (since they consisted of three guys, Kane sadly one of them), and replace them with only thongs. Said thongs were courtesy of Chris and Steve-o.

The girls and I (Bianca finally showed up after we decided on our prank and didn't actually complain! She actually made it a bit better...) decided we would wait until we knew the guys were asleep before sneaking in and replacing their boxers with the thongs. If it came to that the guys wore their boxers in their sleep, Rhian and I would strip them down and put the thong on their head.

Kassi was still a minor and would squeal if she saw a morning wood.

We'd even dressed up in stealth mode! Rhian, the lucky bitch, wore all black and some black and gray camo shorts. Kassi actually had real green Army camo, and I had to put up with my tan bits that would look better in a desert than a forest. Bianca was lacking, but had dark something that could count as something militia like so we just put up with that. We even agreed to where it as the next day's outfits. Bianca, of course, refused wearing one outfit more than once before washing.

We got to the cabin; it was about a hundred feet from ours. Kassi and Rhian listened carefully, giving the thumbs up when they heard three sets of snores. Rhian, being the tallest, opened the window and I boosted up Bianca (I almost screamed when her heels dug into the palm of my hands) and Kassi, before jumping up and giving myself a boost. Rhian would take watch.

Kassi kept the flashlight to the ground, being sure to keep it away from the boys' eyes. Bianca took the flashlight so Kassi and I could steal the pairs of boxers from their suitcases. It took about a total of ten minutes, with many pauses and duck-and-rolls to make sure the boys didn't see us, before we had all of the disembodied pairs. I took the time to gently lift the covers and pull off any that were being worn.

All three guys got the thongs on their heads. Kassi tossed the boxers to Rhian and Bianca before climbing out of the window and I soon following. We quickly took off away from the cabin. The plan had been foolproof and everything went perfectly...

"What are we going to do with them now?" Bianca asked.

...until now. We all stopped, halfway to our cabin, before looking at each other.

"The lake?" Rhian suggested. Kassi grinned in the dark.

"Let's soak 'em and stuff 'em in the freezer in the mess hall."

We all quickly agreed and took off in the direction of the mess hall. Once there, Rhian began to fill the sink with water, Bianca and Kassi doing the soaking before tossing them to me so I could stack them in the freezer. That took about twenty minutes, and then the ten minute walk from the mess hall to our cabin made us too tired and even bother with setting up shifts to watch out for any pranks or wrong doings.

This was Jackass camp, you gotta be ready for anything and everything.

Bianca changed out of her clothes, but us three didn't even bother, we just fell on top of the still unmade mattresses and fell asleep on our pillows.

The following morning, we (and probably the rest of the camp) were awoken by Bianca's high pitched scream. Kassi ended up jumping so high that she fell of her bed. Rhian grabbed her pillow and, what I think his a curling iron, as a weapon; and I just simply rolled over, smashing the palms of my hands against my ears to make the sound stop.

"THOSE FUCKERS!" She screamed more, and I swore I heard somebody laugh...

Looking over at her to see what she was talking about, I found her holding up a very large pink makeup bag and a note.

We ran out of finger paints. Borrowed some of yours.

I died with laughter. Those assholes had stolen Bianca's make up... I hated to admit it, but they were good. They used our weakest link against us. I could tell it was Team 'Here for the Beer' but got us, since I've never seen a guy with that kind of curly handwriting, and Tina was the only girl left in the camp besides us. So that means the Dildos got the Beers...

I kind of wondered who won.

"You fucking complain once and I swear I till die your hair pink." Kassi threatened as we walked to the mess hall. Bianca was covering her face with a pair of oversized sunglasses and a hat. We were still wearing out clothes from the night before while she had changed into a pair of shorts, a pale purple tank top, and a pair of matching flats.

Once there, the smell of breakfast overcame our senses. The Beers were grinned at us wildly, happily eating their cereal and toast. Bianca flipped them all off. Kassi, Rhian and I were all looking to the awkwardly squirming Dildos. I grinned at them, winking at one of the boys and giving him a 'come hither' bend of my finger. It was flirty, and I was going to have to seduce him to be comfortable enough to do what I was going to do. The girls already knew what I was going to do.

"Hi," I smiled at the brunette innocently, fluttering my eyelashes. I made sure to straight my shoulders so my breasts would seem bigger. "I'm JP. What's your name?"

He licked over his lips, pulling at the collar of his shirt. "Matt." he said, his voice cracking.

"Oh really? Matt is my favorite name..." My fingertips stroked down his arm and then down the middle of his chest. He shivered, relaxing slightly.

Grinning wickedly, I grabbed the waistband of his shorts and tugged them down. Laughter erupted in the mess hall as he quickly bent down to pick up his pants. They had seen the bright pink thong with matching black lace and bow. Matt scurried away and sat back with his team. His head banged on the table, his face flushed bright red.

Rhian and Kassi gave me a high five; Bianca was still sulking about her lack of makeup.

Ten minutes into our breakfast the Beers all suddenly jumped up and ran in the direction of the bathrooms. The Dildos finally seemed to lose their embarrassment over the thongs as they watched and listened for-

"Where the FUCK is the toilet paper?!"

We were left in stitches as we laughed. All were really good pranks. When the Beers came back, they were glaring at the Dildos, all walking funny -- except Tina. She hadn't eaten any of the food given. She brought her own fruit. The Jackasses must have had hidden cameras or something, but almost immediately after they all came bursting in, clapping.

"Well done, young fucktards!" Johnny laughed, hands still loosely clapping the other.

"And the winners for task three, is...!"