Without A Doubt, Your All I Dream About

Running from lions, i could take. I could understand why he wrote it. But when Leah started one called "Remembering Sunday," I lost it.

There were tears rolling down my cheeks halfway through the song. This song explained how Alex felt after i left, and i just couldn't take it. I ripped the headphone out and jumped of the couch.

"Please, please just go!" i cried, making Leah jump. She hurriedly gathered her things and stood towards the door.

"Here's my number. Please call, please. I didn't mean to make you upset" She held out a peace of paper and looked at me like i was a wild animal about to attack her.

Finally, she set the rumpled paper on the small coffee table and ran out the door. I choked back a sob as i slid down the wall.

I realized i caused Alex pain when i left, but i didn't realize this much. We were nine years old for god's sake! But to say that he hadn't left a huge imprint on my heart, was a lie. The day we left, i had to go over to Alex's. I had to break off any of these feeling. Not because i didn't love him, but because i didn't want him to be sad when I left. I hadn't told anyone that i was going. I didn't want anyone to worry.

"What do you mean, we can't be friends anymore?" Alex's small voice asked, worriedly.

He started playing with his hair, a nervous habit he has.

"I mean exactly what i said Lex. We can't be friends. And i don't like you" That was the biggest i have ever told in my life, to this day. The hurt on Alex's face almost made me want to tell him it was all a lie, and hug him tightly. But i couldn't. In my mind, i thought cutting everything off would be better for him. And for me.

Stupid 9 year old brain.

I snapped out of my memory. Looks like my plan had done the exact opposite. It tore us both apart. I sniffled and crawled into bed. The stuffed lion that Alex had gotten me for my 8th birthday laid on the pillow. I grabbed and held it to my chest. This was the only peice of Alex i had left.

*A few weeks later*
"Where the hell is my other show?" I yelled, to my empty apartment. My life had been the definition of boring for the past few weeks. I went to work, and when i wasn't at work, i visited my mom's grave. Pretty boring cycle.

Leah had tried to call a few times. I texted her after about 6 phone calls and told her that I was okay, but i didn't really want to talk.

I was currently getting ready for work, which i was late for, again. I finally found my shoe, hiding under a pile of tank tops. Man, i need to clean my room.

I grabbed my only purse off the hook and a banana off the counter and flew out to door. Being mid-may, it was actually i pretty nice day outside. My little green pick-up truck sat in my parking spot, ready to go.

I absolutely loved this car.

Of course, i sped all the way to work. thank god, there weren't many cops out. When i spotted the small music shop, i swerved my truck into a parking spot and ran in.

"I'm here!" i panted as soon as i pushed the door open. A few teenage girls who were in the shop, looked at me a little funny, but the manager, Jenny, smiled up at me from a big box of cd's.

"Glad you could make it Harley, your the only one working today." She motioned towards all the boxes spread across the store, indicating me to unload and restock the shelves, grabbed her keys, and left. I sighed and got to work.

The place had finally slowed down about 3 in the after noon. I had unloaded all the boxes, and was now, i had my feet up on the counter, reading a magazine.

The door opened and a couple walked in. I didn't look up from my magazine. "Welcome to Jenny's Music" i called lazily, but they were already to far into the cd racks to hear me.

A few minutes later i heard them coming my way.

"Those shoes are adorable!" they girl said.

I pulled my magazine away from my face.

"Oh, harley! Hi! I didn't know you were working today" Leah gushed, but by the look on her face, she totally did. I smiled slightly, and looked to her right.

Zack smiled shyly at me. I took in his new body. 'Wow,' i thought to myself.

"Harley, you look, so different" he muttered, seeming to be checking him out, just as i was doing to him.

"What can i get for you two?" i asked, trying to change the subject.

The bought a few cd's and a magazine. They were about to leave, when Leah turned around and said, "Hey Har, why don't you come to dinner with me and the boys tonight? I think it'll be great for you to see all of them"

I bit my lip, I was going to have to face them sometime.

"Okay, that sounds good" I mumbled.

Her whole face brightened up.

"Great! I'll pick you up at 8" she chirped. before pulling Zack out of the door.

What the hell did i just get myself into?
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