I Can't Believe, I'm Actually Meant to Be Here!

***One week later, Ronnie's POV***

The first week on tour was so crazy, fun, and insane. The shows have all been amazing so far, the fans have been amazing, the bands we're touring with are amazing, everything is perfect. I'm having the best time of my life right now.

But lately, those weird feelings I've been having for Scar have been growing.....a lot.

I find myself way more protective of her, more cuddly and love-dovey with her, and I'm finding myself to be more and more attracted to her everyday. I just keep discovering new little things about her that make her so.....yeah, I'll be cheesy and say it, beautiful. Like the way she laughs, her smile, the way she walks, the happy glint that seems to always be in her eyes now, how sweet and kind she is to everybody she meets, her cute little face adorned with her adorable piercings, her...

I sound like a pussy right now, don't I? "Her cute little face adorned with her adorable piercings"?! What man says "cute" and "adorable"?!

Jesus Christ, what is Scar DOING to me?

Alright, anyways, back on the subject; I'm finding out that I like her more as a friend, and as a little sister. Way more. And it scares me, because of the fact that I've never thought of her that way for the entire 12 years I've known her. And all of the sudden, I just start getting all of these mushy, cutesy, girly feelings for her.

Wouldn't think that would happen to a 27 year old heavily tattooed man who just got out of prison not even a year ago, huh?

But maybe that's just it. Maybe because of the fact I was in that shit hole for two and a half years of my life, and the only woman that stuck by my side through the whole thing was Scar, that's why I feel this way about her...she's comfortable to me. I've known her for almost half of my life. She hasn't left my side, no matter what happened, or what I did.

Man, that means she'd probably be an amazing wife...

OK, OK, sheesh Ronnie, let's slow down here for a minute or two; you just started feeling like this about a week ago, let's not jump into fucking marrying her and making pretty little babies with her just yet.

Once again; anyways...we were currently in Houston, Texas, and we all hung out together last night after our show. But tonight we had a night off, so I thought I would take Scar out to dinner and then go and do whatever else we wanted after-wards. On almost every tour her and I have been on together, we always had to do this a few times during the hectic 2, 3, sometimes even 4 months of tour. It was our little way to escape and hang out for a few hours, just the two of us.

"Woah, Scar's got a hot date tonight!" Derek whistled as he poked his head into the bathroom that Scarlet was currently occupying, finishing up getting ready.

"Nah, just Ronnie." I heard her say, then the two of them laugh.

"HEY!" I walked over and poked my head in, jokingly shoving Derek out of the way. "Excuse me? I am most DEFINITELY a hot date!" She laughed and I smirked. I let my eyes run over her entire body for a second, knowing that how great she looked wasn't helping with my feelings for her.

"Well, you look.....OK, I guess." She trailed off, putting away all her makeup and turning to me. I pouted and she laughed, walking up to me and kissing my cheek. "I'm just kidding, you know that. You look good, Ronnie."

"Just good?" She shook her head and laughed again, making her way past me to go and grab her shoes.

"Well I think you look gorgeous." She looked up at me as she was putting her heels on. I smiled and leaned against the bunks on the opposite side, and I smirked on the inside when I saw a blush appearing on her cheeks.

"Thank you, Ronnie." She stood up and smiled at me, now at least 4 inches taller.

"Hey, now you're not so much of a midget." I grinned, patting her head lightly. She shoved me and told me to shut up, making me laugh and follow her to the main part of the bus.

"Alright boys, don't play with anything that involves fire, water, or something that could possibly kill us all. No fighting, and when we come back this bus better not be a disaster area, alright?" The guys all stood in a straight line and saluted her. She nodded her head and grabbed her purse-clutch thing off of the table.

"Remember, bedtime's 10 o' clock." I pointed my finger.

"HA! Yeah right." Ryan laughed and waved at us as he walked back to his bunk.

"Bye Mom! Bye Dad!" Mika waved over-excitedly at us. Scarlet giggled and we stepped off of the bus. I bit back the laughter that was trying to spill out of my mouth as Scarlet started walking, but then stopped and realized something.

"I'm not an idiot Scar, I got a rental car for tonight." I pulled the keys out of my front pocket on my jeans and jingled them in the air. She breathed a sigh of relief and smiled. "Thank God, I thought I was gonna have to walk in these babies." She kicked her foot up, showing off her heel and I laughed. I lead her to the rental car that was parked not too far from the bus.

We got in the car and I started it up. "So where're we going, Mr. Radke?" She smiled at me after buckling her seat belt. I did the same and pulled out of the venue, trying to figure out how the hell to get out of it.

"Well, first we're gonna try to get out of this never-ending maze..." I sighed, shifting the car into reverse when I realized I'd driven into some weird dead end. "Then we're going to a steakhouse that's not too far from here. If I can get out of the venue, that is."

She laughed and clapped her hands. "Yay! A meal other than frozen chicken nuggets or pizza rolls for dinner tonight!" A loud laugh rumbled from my own throat. "So true."

After approximately 7 minutes of me cussing and running into more dead ends, and Scar giggling to herself everytime it happened, we were on the open road.

"You're funny." She giggled again.

"Well they shouldn't make venues so damn confusing to get out of." I mumbled, somewhat joking. But seriously; they shouldn't.

"Maybe you just don't know how to drive..." My jaw dropped and I glanced quickly at Scar, seeing her in another giggling fit.

"I know how to drive, thank you very much! Just because I was in prison for a couple years doesn't mean I'm a complete dumbass when it comes to simple, everyday tasks such as driving! Sheesh!" I flailed my hands around as I talked, and Scar stopped giggling.

"HANDS ON THE WHEEL!" I laughed and smirked at her, before turning my eyes back to the road.

"That got you to shut up about how I don't know how to drive!" I said triumphantly.

"Whatever!" She huffed, obviously joking.

We arrived at the restaurant a few minutes later. She slipped her hand into mine as we walked up to the door. I looked over and she smiled at me, making me smile back.

We were seated at our booth and the waitress took our drink orders before leaving us for a few minutes.

"I love doing this." Skye grinned happily at me. I laughed. "Doing what?"

"This!" Going out with you on tour! It's fun!" I laughed again at how cute she was and nodded. "It's nice, we get to spend some time together."

"Away from our 4 kids." We both laughed and I nodded. "Yes, our 4 sons."

The waitress came back with our drinks, and let us have a few minutes to look at the menu before coming back again and taking our order.

"You ordered salmon at a steakhouse?" I raised my eyebrow and smirked, taking a sip of my Pepsi.

"Shut your mouth, I like salmon." She scrunched up her face cutely as she spoke, before taking a sip of her lemonade. We stayed silent for a few minutes before I glanced down to her neck and smiled. "I see you still wear your necklace."

She looked down at it and instantly began playing with it, a small smile gracing her features. 'Of course I do. I love it." She looked up at me. "But you never did tell me how you got it for me while you were in prison." I laughed.

"I let Nason get some of my money out of the bank, and told him exactly what I wanted him to get for you. I had been thinking about it for like a month before I told him about my little plan." She smiled and rested her chin in her hand.

"So you just told him to get me a black heart locket necklace?" She chuckled.

"Hey, it is an onyx heart necklace locket thingy, thank you. And it was not cheap!" I wagged my finger at her and she pouted.

"How much did you spend on me? You never told me that, either." I smirked and put my finger to my lip. "It's a secret."

She leaned back in her side of the booth, crossing her arms and sticking her bottom lip out more. I shook my head and smiled. "Nope."

"Fine." She mumbled. I smiled at her again. "I love you, Scar." She "Awwww"d and put a hand over her heart. I rolled my eyes and continued to smile.

"I wuv you too, Wonnie." She cooed. She reached over and pinched my cheek, making me scrunch up my face and swat her hand away. She grinned, but then returned to looking like a normal, sane human being when she saw the waitress bringing us our food. I snickered and thanked the waitress as she set my plate in front of me.

We continued to talk while we ate, chattering about everything and anything. It finally came time to pay the bill, and once that was done, we were on our way out of the restaurant. Scar grabbed my hand and swung them back and forth together as we walked. I laughed and glanced down lovingly at her.

We got in the car and buckled ourselves up before heading back out on the road again. "So now where are we going?" I shrugged. "I dunno. I have no clue what's around here." Out of the corner of my eye I saw her tapping her chin in thought.

"STARBUCKS!" She pointed to a Starbucks just across the road.

"YAY!" I cheered and drove over to the little strip the coffee shop was in. We both exited the car again and went inside, the strong scent of coffee practically punching me in the face.

"Welcome to Starbucks." The barista at the register smiled at both of us. "What can I get for you two tonight?"

"Venti Coconut Creme Frappe, pleaseee." Scarlet smiled.

"Another one of those, pleaseee." The barista laughed as I mocked Scar's voice, making her eyes narrow at me.

"$9.61." I bit back a laugh as I handed her a 10 dollar bill for just 2 drinks. Gotta love Starbucks!

She handed me my change and I thanked her, then walked over to where Scar was, which was looking at all the coffee mugs they had on their shelves. We received our drinks just a few minutes later.

"Let's sit outside!" Scarlet exclaimed, running out of the shop. I shook my head at her but nonetheless followed her out to the table she'd already sat herself down at.

"So." She folded her hands on the table and smiled at me.

"So." I leaned back in my chair and smiled back. She laughed and did the same.

Honestly, now would be the perfect opportunity to tell her about how I've been feeling about her this past week, but.....I really don't want to ruin anything between us. Shit, I can't ruin anything between us. Going back to prison for another 2 years wouldn't be as bad as losing Scarlet.

"Ronnie?" I snapped out of my little world and nodded my head up, signaling a, "Yeah?" response. "Whatcha thinkin' about?" She asked cutely. I smiled and shook my head. "Nothing, I just zoned out for a minute."

"Come on, I know you were thinking about something." She grasped my hand with her delicate little hand, giving it a slight squeeze. "You can tell me anything." She spoke softly, her smile the same.

I smiled and stroked my thumb over her hand slowly, toying with the idea of telling her. "How much do you love me?" I asked. She blinked, looking a little surprise.

"A lot, Ronnie. You know that. Why?" I shrugged slightly and focused my stare on my drink.

"I need a better answer than a shrug, Ronnie. That's not just something you ask someone casually."

"What was going on between you and Jacky today?" This time she looked taken aback, and even I was surprised the question tumbled out of my mouth.

"When...?" She eyed me strangely.

"Today, on the couch. You two looked pretty cozy." I noticed how my voice went from relaxed to somewhat irritated, and I know she noticed it too, as she took her hand out of my grasp.

"We were just being a little flirty, s'all." She mumbled. I tensed up. She placed her hands in her lap and folded them.

"A little flirty?" I raised my eyebrow. "Why? You like him or something?" She didn't answer right away, making me panic. "Oh my god, you like Jacky?!"

"I have a little crush on him, yeah...it's nothing big, or serious, Ronnie. We always flirt a little here and there, you just never notice it..." I sat up straighter. Was she trying to piss me off or something?

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Nothing!" She exclaimed defensively. "Just, we flirt sometimes. It's nothing, really." I nodded and took a sip of my cold drink, not uttering another word for a minute.

"...Are you mad?" She whispered. I shook my head.

"No, I just......didn't think you liked Jacky."

"He's sweet." She said quietly, looking down and kicking her feet around a little.

"Not as sweet as you think." I chuckled darkly. Her head snapped up, and she stared at me. "He's a bit of a whore, Scarlet."

"I know." She sighed. "But, he's got no one tying him down. He's in a band. What do you expect?" I nodded my head. "So why would you want to get involved with him if you know all of that?"

"I never said I wanted to get involved with him!" She exclaimed, sounding confused. "When the hell did I ever say that?"

"Just, never mind. Forget I ever said anything." I slipped my phone out of my jean's pocket, reading a couple new texts I had and replying to them.

"Ronnie..."

"I just don't want you getting hurt, okay?" I looked up again, and she frowned. "I care about you. I never want to see you hurting, especially if it's over some guy who did you wrong."

"Sometimes you have to not be so protective, though." She murmured.

"I worry, alright?" I snapped. Her eyes widened a bit, and she shrunk back in her seat. I sighed heavily and set my phone down on the table, running my hands over my face. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you." She didn't reply, only kept staring at me. I stood up and shoved my phone in my pocket, grabbing my drink. "Let's go in the car." She got up, grabbing her clutch and drink off of the table, silently following me.

I got in the drivers side and set my drink in the cup holder, Scar doing the same on the passenger side.

"I don't want to have to be the guy, who has the beat up the jerk you cheated on you, or hurt you."

"But how do you know Jacky would do that? Have you ever seen how he is in a relationship?" I stared at the steering wheel. "No."

"Then how do you know?"

"'Cause all guys are jerks." I grumbled. "Dudes these days just fuck 'em and leave 'em."

"You used to do that." She snickered.

"We're not talking about me, alright?" I laughed a little. "Besides, I've changed."

"I know." We stayed silent for a minute. I grabbed her hand and looked at her. "You gotta let me date, Ronnie."

"All guys are jerks." I repeated.

"Oh, what, you want me to date you?" She joked. I froze up. Wow. If only she knew...

"Uhhhhh..." She slowly pulled her hand away from mine.

"No no no!" I laughed nervously. "It just......that sounds weird." I lied. Actually, it sounds perfect.

"Oh, phew. Thought you were in love with me for a second there." She laughed. I laughed too, but inside, I frowned.

Yeah, totally not in love with you.

Not at all...