Ready When You Are

“OH MY GOD I’M SO EXCITED!”

I laughed and picked up a record from the shelf, dusting it off and setting it back down.

“Are the shows fun?” I asked Em as she took a wad of cash of a customer.

She nodded enthusiastically and handed him the change. “Like really fun. I mean the guys can get kind of annoying but it’s never boring. And Olivia will be there! It’ll be like a girly merch table! OH I’m so excited.”

Emerson clapped her hands and I laughed, leaning over the counter to grab the key to the backroom.

“The guys seemed pretty pumped about it,” I said, “expect Garrett.” I sighed at the last part.

Em nodded and patted my back as we walked into the backroom and picked up the newest shipment of The Summer Set’s new record.

“Oh he’s probably just nervous!” Em shouted, “I mean he’s going to be spending a night with you. Kind of a prime time to make a move. And Garrett isn’t the most suave if you know what I mean-”

“Wait,” I laughed a little, “what?”

Em gave me a face. “He’s just awkward and I’m guessing he’ll at least try something-”

I shook her off. “But why would he want to try anything?”

“Are you kidding me Kenley? The guy practically goes goggley eyed whenever someone even mentions you. Tell me you know he has like a massive crush on you.”

I gave her a face. “No, we just have fun together-”

“And tell me you’ve come to terms with the fact that you are totally smitten with him as well?”

I bit my lip. I wasn’t sure what to say. I wanted to object, to tell her Gare and I were just really good friends. But there was a part of me that didn’t want to object. Part of me was… happy or excited at the news.

But then I remembered. “It doesn’t even matter, Em. I have a boyfriend.”

Em squinted her eyes and then nodded. “Oh, yeah. Yeah. Him. Well.” She flapped her arms in the air.

“Does he know about how much time you and Garrett spend together?”

I shook my head. “Not really. And he doesn’t need to.”

Em laughed a little. “Does he know about this little concert thing, at least?”

I gulped. “I haven’t gotten around to mentioning it.”

“Well get around to it!” Em spat, looking at me, “I’m not having you back out of these plans last minute cause your boyfriend is being a pussy!”

“Maybe I won’t tell him the boys will be there. Maybe I’ll just say it’s with you and Olivia.”

“So you’re gonna lie to your boyfriend?” Em asked. I shrugged.

“More like minimize the truth. ‘Cause you and Olivia will be there.”

Em shrugged. “Whatever gets you there, hun.”

I nodded and bit my lip, trying to conceal my smile and bring the topic up lightly. “So I went to the guy’s practice the other day.”

“Uh huh.” She said as she sorted out records.

“Kennedy came late.”

“Oh, interesting.” Em nodded, not looking up at me.

“And weirdest thing, he had a hickey on his neck.”

The caught Em’s attention. She looked up at me and quickly went back down to sort. I knew she knew what I was talking about.

I went on, “He must have had a lot of fun at the party.”

Em clicked her tongue. “I dunno about that.”

“Why?”

I could tell Em was about to go all dramatic on me. And I was all for it.

“Well, we got to the party and like he grabbed me and we started drinking and talking and he told me he wanted to try us again so I was pretty syked. So then we made out and shit and then all of a sudden his phone rings…”

Em paused and rolled her eyes dramatically, looking at me and making sure I was still intently listening to her story. I gave her a nod and she went on,

“And he picks it up! Here I am, ready for him to do whatever he wants to me and he picks up his damn phone! And guess who it was?” she paused again but went on, “Another girl! So I basically yelled at him and left and ugh he is such an asshole, Kenley.”

I nodded. Em and Kennedy were both dramatic together, but they seemed to fit. For some reason, they seemed to both be bouncing off each other in a bad way every time they were on the right track. I sighed.

“So why are you excited for tour, exactly?” I wondered out loud. “If Ken and you are both there, won’t that be awkward for you both?”

Em shook her head and fiddled with the keys to the doors. It was nearly closing time. I grabbed my jean jacket and sunglasses and headed for the tour, Em closely trailing me and groaning slightly.

“Well not for me,” Em explained with confidence, “I’ll just flirt with some guys in front of him. Make him jealous. Always does the trick.”

I laughed and got into my car, waving to Em as she got into her jeep.

“See you at the Kirch’s tomorrow!” She shouted as she drove off.

Waving, I pulled out onto the street and ruffled with my hair. I was about to go home and lie to my boyfriend of five years. I felt like I shouldn’t have to lie, that he should know and trust me. But then there was small bubble of my being that said maybe he couldn’t trust me. Maybe he was right about me.

I was such a terrible girlfriend.

I took in a huff of hair and pulled into my apartment complex, taking the stairs slowly up the apartment and opening the door like I had all the time in the world. When I got in, the TV was lighting up the living room. I entered and Brendan jumped up.

“GUESS WHAT BABE?” He said, his hands shaking.

I smiled. “What?”

He flashed me a poster. “We have a show! It’s here in Phoenix. We are opening for another local band and it’s going to be huge.”

I hugged him and grabbed the poster from his hands, gawking up at him.

“Bren, this is so awesome! When’s the show? Did you get me a ticket?”

“OH!” Brendan said, shaking his head. “No, I forgot. But hopefully it’s not sold out. And it’s tomorrow!”

I gulped. “Oh.”

A confused look landed on Brendan’s face. “Babe, aren’t you excited?”

I wasn’t sure what to do. I had an obligation to my boyfriend. He needed and actually wanted my support. But had already promised the boys and Em about California. They were counting on me. I couldn’t let them done.

“I am excited,” I laughed a little, “but I don’t think I can make it.”

I set down my keys and Brendan walked over to me with an even more confused look. “Why the fuck not? You have nothing more important to do.”

His words stung a little more than they should have. I shook my head.

“I uh, I promised Em I would sub for her at the store tomorrow.” I fibbed. “It’s gonna be a busy day. I have to be there. No one else can.”

“Fuck her!” Brendan shouted. “Screw her, babe. Just quit. You don’t need to be there.”

I shook my head. “It’s too late. I have to go, Bren, I’m sorry.”

Brendan walked over to me, pinning me against the wall.

“Kenley, what the hell is going on? Why are you being like this?”

I squeaked a little as his hands grabbed my shoulders forcefully. “I’m sorry Bren, it’s just one show you can do it without me-”

“I shouldn’t fucking have to, is the thing babe. I should be your priority. I’m why we are here. That record store is getting in the way of all of our plans.”

I nodded. “I can’t leave Em hanging now. I’m so sorry.”

I shook as he let me go and went back to the TV.

“At least you’re not hanging out with those boys. That Josh and that Gary.”

“John and Garrett.” I corrected him, sending me a glance. I shook him off and went to our bedroom, looking softly at myself in the mirror as the TV blared in the background.

I felt terrible for not supporting Brendan. But I couldn’t go with him tomorrow.

My mind peeled back to what Emerson had told me about Garrett having a thing for me. But that wasn't possible. He had just gotten out of a relationship. And I was still in one. We just got along really well. I sighed, realizing how I got along with him better than anyone. How every moment was better with him there. Almost easier. The thought of us being just friends brought a weird feeling into my stomach.

It made me feel terribly unsatisfied.