Ready When You Are

I hadn’t been so excited in a long, long time.

I tied the braid on the side of my head and adjusted my flowing feather top and shorts, making sure I looked decent. Why I was so intent on looking good I wasn’t sure, since I’d been a squished in van with sweaty guys the entire ride. But I couldn’t get the butterflies out of my stomach. I had a very good feeling about tonight.

Hearing a knock at the door sent butterflies through my stomach. I smiled at the mirror, fixing my light brown hair and throwing some ray bans in my purple bag with a few extra bucks.

“Brendan, could you get that?” I called.

I heard a huff from the living room, followed by a slow pattern of footsteps. I rolled my eyes and finished packing, bringing and extra set of clothes for the morning and shorts for tonight.

Then I turned to walk into the hallway, where Garrett should be waiting for me.

My heart stopped.

Garrett.

He was picking me up. He was driving me to Pat and Tim’s to go to a show with the guys.

Although that was my reality, it wasn’t Brendan’s. My mind felt like it had thudded as I leaned on the bed and scolded myself silently for being so stupid.I was supposed to be going out with Em, and only Em, not the guys. Especially not Garrett. I was such a terrible liar. This was karma telling me not to lie to my boyfriend. Damn.

Quickly, I grabbed my bag.

“Bren never mind don’t-”

Turning into the hallway to see a brownish red haired boy with a cute smile standing next to my stocky boyfriend proved that I was too late. Brendan sent me a harsh glance.

“So uh, Brendan, this is Garrett.”

Brendan’s eyes widened. He looked over at Garrett, sticking out his hand and shaking Gare’s firmly. A little too firmly.

“Nice to meet you.” Garrett shot him his fake, close mouthed half smile. I could tell he was trying.

Brendan nodded and turned to face me. “I thought you said you were going wherever you’re going with Em.”

Garrett’s eyes bulged and he looked over at me with a confused glance. I shot him a look that told him everything he needed to know, and I brought my hands up and smiled at Brendan reassuringly.

“I am!” I nodded. “Garrett here lives er, next door to Em. And her car broke down so.”

Garrett’s confused glance turned into a nod as Brendan looked over at him.

“I could have driven you.” Brendan stated plainly.

I shook my head. “Didn’t want to cause you the trouble.”

“It’s really not a problem at all.” Garrett nodded.

The smile that spread across my face couldn’t be helped. Garrett was helping me lie to him. He was pulling me out of this god awful situation and he didn’t need to do that at all. It was nice of him. It was actually very, very sweet.

“I’m sure.” Brendan said shortly.

Then he turned to me, grabbing my wrist forcefully and pulling my lips against his. My eyes were stunned open as I peered over at Garrett quickly, his eyes shooting straight to the wooden floor. Brendan pushed harder, holding me close. We hadn’t kissed like this in a long time. But it didn’t feel genuine or even right. Slowly, I pulled myself off him and tried to smile, but it looked more like my lips were being tugged to the side of my face.

“Bye Brendan.” I said as I pulled Garrett out the door and into the stair well, where I fell against the wall and put my face in my hands.

I looked up at Garrett, who was staring down at me with big eyes.

“Gare,” I paused, “I am so sorry about that. I am a complete idiot. You really didn’t have to-”

“What are you talking about?” Garrett interrupted, giving me another confused face. “If I didn’t do that, you wouldn’t be coming. And you simply have to come.”

I smiled and took the hand Garrett stretched out for me.

“Well, it was very sweet.”

He shook his head. “Whatever gets you here.”

I laughed and we walked out to his car.

It was only when he had to let go of my hand to open the door for me did I realize we had held hands all the way down the stairs.

As I looked down at my fingers now, they felt terribly empty

***

An hour into the drive, and I was still thoroughly entertained.

John was driving and blasting bad techno at the top possible volume as Max and Tim moshed to it, bringing Olivia and I into fits of hysteria. Then there was Jared, who was making faces at passing cars and occasionally taking pictures of things in the van. Pat was sitting to my right editing videos, and I constantly added my input whether he needed it or not.

Then there was Kennedy and Em. Because Kennedy arrived last and Em walked over seconds before we left, the two were forced to squeeze in directly next to each other. Em’s head was stuck out the window, and every so often she would pick up her phone and laugh flirtatiously at a text. This drove Kennedy insane, as his arms were stiffly crossed and he refused to look anywhere else but the highway we passed.

Turns out, I was the one texting Em. But in the act of supporting me friend, I had to go along with it.

To my left was Garrett. A laptop on his lap, I was leaning on his shoulder and listening to his music with one of his headphones in my ear.

Every so often he would look over at me and whisper “do you like this?” when a new song came on. I responded with nod each time because truthfully, I did love his music. It was heartfelt, and the way he looked when he listened to it told me he felt it too. A mix of small bands and his favorite bands like Death Cab, Wilco, and Nirvana filled my ears. And of course, our lovely Ryan Adams.

“Smile kids!” Jared yelled as he turned around and snapped a quick picture of me and Garrett.

I looked up at Garrett and shook my head, then laid it back down on his shoulder.

Slowly, I felt myself falling asleep.

“Gare?” I whispered.

He turned the music in my ears down and looked down at me. “Yep?”

“I’m sorry if I fall asleep on you.”

Garrett laughed and put his arm around me. He was so warm. He turned the music back on, putting on one of my favorite songs.

“Here’s your lullaby.” He said.

The sounds of Death Cab for Cutie filled my ears as I sunk into Garrett’s arms and let myself drift to sleep.

And when I woke up, I woke up with the sun streaming through the van windows and people moving out of the van.

But I was still in the same position, with Garrett’s head resting safely on top of my own.